Call me gay NOT a lesbian

I'm a guy but I agree with Lil Miss hikes, for women, gay is a much better word than lesbian.......
But personally I prefer not straight for myself, generally....

 

I dislike when women call themselves gay. Gay is the word for men. Lesbian is the word for women. Queer works for both even though I'm not fond of that word in general. There are 2 options that make perfect sense, why must people pick the only one that doesn't make sense, since calling someone a gay girl is the same as saying the girl is a guy attracted to guys.

 

I could be wrong but I’m pretty sure the word gay isn’t exclusive to men.

Why make different words for the same thing based on gender?
Obviously people love to do this, why though?

 

How about "gayelle"?

 

I like the sound of that.

 

The word is homage to the island of Lesbos in Greece as it was home to the poet Sappho who openly expressed affection towards women in her poetry. So, it actually has some solid history behind it. Moreso than the word "gay" in reference to same-sex attraction.

However, it's simply a word. If you would prefer to be called gay or queer or whatever, use whatever label works best for you.

To be fair, "gay" as an adjective technically only means "homosexual" which is someone who experiences attraction to the same-sex. While it is typically used for men, it is not "the word for men." And when used as a noun, "lesbian" is classified as a synonym of "gay."

If women want to use it, they can use it.

 

as a greek mythology student, i can confirm

 

I've said this before, but I was introduced to the word 'sapphic' for women, and it saddens me that this isn't a thing.

For starters, it's an adjective like 'gay', not a noun like 'lesbian'. That difference between a word that is primarily understood to use for describing someone vs using a word that literally defines you makes 'gay' an understandably more comfortable choice.

 

I totally get that ahaha, i always just say "girl who likes girls" or something like that because i hate labels so much...

 

Your life, your rules/

There are tons of women that think the way you do. Just introduce yourself as gay and people will figure it out. Its far more common than you think. Some women still like dyke and its very popular in certain circles. So its totally up to you.

If anyone "disagrees" with you using gay then invite them to fuck off

Half kidding, but seriously people around you should respect the way you want to be called. Just tell your friends, introduce yourself as such, and you are set.

 

I think a woman should use any word she wants. I’d never tell a woman to not use a word that works for her. I personally use gay, queer, lesbian, bi, (yes bi, it’s complicated). So yeah, use whatever you like. I get preferring gay, especially because it’s an adjective, though I’ve seen that rejecting lesbian as a word is more common with other youth like the OP and myself. I don’t quite see the distaste, because personally I find the word lesbian to be sexy and cool sounding. *shrugs* But do whatever floats your boat.

 

I am curious. Do you consider the term derogatory? "Lesbian" indeed does have a connection to the isle of Lesbos. Though that makes me wonder if the inhabitants there, both men and women, call themselves Lesbians? *laugh*

My friend, if you dislike the term "lesbian," then by all means use the terms like "gay" that you feel most comfortable with. Fortunately with adjectives, if one dislikes one adjective, there are often many others that one can substitute it with!

 

i honestly love that word and use it myself as well. i love how general it is (literally woman loving women). Also, sapphic just sounds cooler.

 

It really does - which is why it's surprising that I'd never heard it before.

 

Yes. Good point. My problem: to some degree, I don't like any of the common options for LGBT labels that are relevant for a male. Homosexual? Too clinical. Also tainted by some memories of my past (when there were people using that word). Gay? About the best we've got, probably, but I still remember it being a huge insult word among boys. I also saddened that this one definition of gay has completely taken the word over. Queer? I know it's reclaimed...but it still sounds ugly to me.

One advantage of being in the closet: I can potentially just avoid using any of these words. LOL

These days, I generally say LGBT when talking to others. I even used it for one therapist to indicate my non-straight status.

 

This isnt so different from saying: "Blue is the color for boys and pink is the color for girls "...

 

Yes it is. Colors are all neutral and have no real gender specificity. The word lesbian exists specifically and only for women who like women. It has no other meaning, so it's 100% gender specific.

 

It was just a thought-provoking. However, I guess a woman should be free to decide what label suits better for her. I dont like lesbian, I prefer to say gay and I have the right to do so. If someone complains, it is binarist and sexist. But of course, if a woman wants to define herself lesbian instead, thats totally fine, as long as nobody forces anyone to say or to do something against their personality.