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Butch/Femme...and trying not to judge

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Woodswoman, Dec 8, 2017.

  1. Rana

    Rana Guest

    This is exactly why I have the utmost respect for those who aren't afraid to esthetically be themselves, especially if they're on the outside of what heteronormative society dictates.
    It's sheer courage which I respect greatly. I always have been impressed by that courage, even as a child when I thought people like K.D. Lang were awesome!!
    ❤️❤️❤️
     
    LostInDaydreams likes this.
  2. Jackie Ray

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    I think that the butch / femme aspect of the gay male community is harmful to the point of violence. In my experience the jock, bull, or butch types generally look down on femmes and treat them terribly; including general rudeness like refusing to acknowledge femme men as equals, physically and verbal bullying taunting, sexual harassment and less commonly sexual abuse. If you arent a macho man you can feel them judging you and sizing you up with their eyes.

    gay men have a pecking order that seems to go like this

    1.) Bulls, mascs, jocks, butch boys, and macho men aka "predators"
    2.) Normal average queers ( A bit femme a bit masc)
    3.) Power Femmes ( usually older and established or young and cocky)
    4.) Sub twinks ( usually small and skinny, I my experience these are the most vulnerable members in our communities and are often the victims of sexually motivated assaults, beatings and rapes from homophobes and 1.) type gays)
    5.) Lesbians ( Nobody is sure what to make of them but they arent men so #1's see them as inferior to even the lowest gay men)
    6.) Trans-folk
    7.) Genderless or gender fluid folk.

    These nonsense groups are tearing us apart.
     
    #22 Jackie Ray, Dec 12, 2017
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2017
  3. gravechild

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    Which do you fall under?
     
  4. Jackie Ray

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    We've talked about that before, and Im still trying to deal with it.
     
  5. Woodswoman

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    Wow @Jackie Ray you are unfortunately so right about the gay 'hierarchy.' My best friend in college was a gay male, and always felt so much pressure to 'butch' up when out in public. He totally pulled it off, but it cost him. When we'd get home, for a while he'd be just as flaming as the sun, like letting steam off a pressure valve. Then he'd calm down and just be...himself, which was a combo of both worlds and I just loved him. I wish he could have felt safe enough to be himself all the time :frowning2:
     
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  6. Jackie Ray

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    @Woodswoman unfortunately there is this holdover from when we are little boys and taught to "be a man". The most masculine heterosexual and homosexual men often victimize women or femme men respectively. The whole idea of the "notch on the belt" crosses over into the LGBT community, it can be worse with butch gay men trying to prove they are still real men. Both I and at least one of my friends have both experienced this rough treatment from masc guys.
     
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