Do you ever have times where things are so bad that you can’t possibly think good will come? Then good does come. Diamond in your face and in your hands. The life you’ve never had, to it being taken away and you’re just told “To process it and move on.” Absolutely sucks. I was balling my eyes out this morning on the bathroom floor. People promised they would help and then the time for it to come they just back out. Sorry I just needed to get this out. So many things happened in a space of three days and my birthday is on Tuesday and I just feel highly overwhelmed. A million thoughts running through my head with no room to catch up. I can’t even concentrate on my important writing project. Plus somedays I feel confused that I repeat in my head “bisexuality isn't 50/50”, 100 times a minute and try to find things to make me feel more bi. I’m still struggling being more into the opposite sex and only realising at 13 in a new friendship I could develop romantic feelings for girls and then it opened up being sexuality attracted to some girls and seeing myself dating a woman but way more into guys. I feel like I’m numb and my brain is exploding. Life is somewhat getting better slowly but we had been chosen for a property and had help. Signed the lease and was ready to start packing. Then to be told “No”. We had the option for a better life and it was taken away in an instant. Any advice on how to manage the next few days stress wise? Coping techniques etc..... Thank you so much to everyone on EC for your kindness and support through everything.
I am so sorry that this has happened to you. I have at times in life felt that the only reason good things happen is to lower my guard so that the disappointment will be that much worse when things go wrong. It has been a difficult mindset to overcome. As far as coping with things. Some of the things that have worked best might not apply due to either COVID or your age. The single best way for me to cope was to get outside myself and the best way to do that was to volunteer for things, like feeding homeless people or volunteering at domestic violence centers. I am not sure if that can even be done in your situation but you might look into it. Other ways to cope are to distract yourself in more private ways: play games that you like, listen to music, take a walk in nature, doing housework etc anything that you can concentrate on and get your mind off of current events at least temporarily. Mulling over or constantly thinking about the things that are not working is not helpful, though from my personal experience it is difficult to avoid. A longer term solution that I have found helpful is working on mindfulness and meditation, this though requires discipline and is more something that will help you deal with future things rather than immediate. Putting time and effort into it though might be a good idea, it would at least be some distraction.
I'm sorry for what's happening. Just try to get through it one day at a time If you ever feel like you want to write a diary but don't want anyone to read it, use the Notes app and you can lock it with a password. For me, this is the best way for me to not feel overwhelmed, so it might work for you? (I'm assuming you have a phone, or access to a phone) I also notice we are around the same age and I go through similar things where I'll start thinking things like "What if I'm not actually lesbian?" which seems similar to you. When this happens to me, I just to try to make myself feel like I'm not alone by looking at LGBTQ Pintrest and LGBTQ TikTok. (If you don't have Tiktok, you can watch tiktoks on a computer and use the LGBTQ hashtag, or search on Youtube for LGBTQ tiktoks) For me, this totally helps me cope with the stress so I hope that helps you.
