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Boyfriends Sex Drive.....or lack there of.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Draco, Jan 30, 2016.

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  1. Draco

    Draco
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    hey guys so I've been dating my boyfriend for about a year now. When we first started dating we had sex all the time, of course understandably so. Anyways now I feel like he may not be attracted to me anymore. My sex drive is way way way more than his and it always has been however our sex life has went from having sex a couple times a day to maybe once a week if I'm lucky. He's recently started to get upset when I'm all over him and in the most PG of ways of saying this is that I give and give and give and he never returns the favor and if I ask him to its almost as if he's upset at the notion. I'm confused and flat out starting to get frustrated. Advice?
     
    #1 Draco, Jan 30, 2016
  2. Van

    Van
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    You can't do much about this. Talk to him, communication is the key.
     
    #2 Van, Jan 30, 2016
  3. bookreader

    bookreader
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    I agree with Van. Communication is key in any relationship.
     
    #3 bookreader, Jan 31, 2016
  4. pestjohnbuda

    pestjohnbuda
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    Yes, I think that the two commenters above me are right. Make sure to talk about it, and be clear that he can be honest about everything to you! I wish you all the luck in the world :slight_smile:
     
    #4 pestjohnbuda, Jan 31, 2016
  5. Cort

    Cort
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    It's extremely important in situations such as this one to avoid drawing conclusions or making assumptions without ample supporting evidence. It happens all the time - one partner appears to be cooling down to the relationship and the other draws the (often false) conclusion that this "cooling off" means that other partners is losing interest.

    The reality is that there can be and are dozens of different reasons why he may not be as interested in sex right now as he was before.

    Some examples that come to mind...

    Stress. Stress stemming from work, family disputes, friendship disputes, or illness can reduce sex drive.

    Performance Anxiety. He may feel like he needs to perform well or please you during sex. This "need to perform" can in and of itself be very stressful. It turns sex into a job.

    Medical Condition. There are tons of medical reasons why his sexual interest could be diminished. He could have low testosterone, a thyroid issue, blood issues, etc. Or if he is on any sort of new medication, that could be causing it. A doctor would be able to make a call on that.

    Too much time together. Most couples like spending time together, but there is a line. Too much time together can lead to burnout. Having some boundaries - some time apart here and there - can do a lot to re-kindle things.

    My point is this: talk to him instead of jumping to any sort of conclusion.
     
    #5 Cort, Jan 31, 2016
  6. FalconBlueSky00

    FalconBlueSky00
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    Talk to him, but not right after he's rejected you, and not in the bedroom or other places that you frequently have sex. Ask questions and be curious about why this is happening. If he's taking any sort of antidepressants they can kill a lot of people's sex drives. Good luck I know it's frustrating and bewildering.
     
    #6 FalconBlueSky00, Jan 31, 2016
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