i guess this is not gay specific but it is something i i ha struggled with quite a bit... i have moved into flat with a random guy and although i find seems like a nice guy and we enjoy watching TV etc i do find him a bit needy in terms of wanting to do stuff with me all the time etc. I know he is lonely but come saturday if i want my space to hang out with my friends and spend time apart i dont know how to say it without been rude or insensitive. i must sound like a terrible person but right now i need space for me and if im not available to hang out i i wa to be able to say it without feeling guilty...
How about, “I’m having some ‘me’ time today. You know how it is. How about Wednesday we watch that movie you were talking about?” You’re not a terrible person. What you’re asking for is totally reasonable.
I agree with Really. It would be nice of you to hang out with him from time to time, when you are feeling like it, but that shouldn't be an obligation. It's great to be polite and to invite someone to hang out with you, but you aren't a bad person if you want to hang out just with other friends/people or if you want time for yourself.
You're far from a terrible person. You're setting reasonable and appropriate boundaries, and that isn't easy, especially with someone who has few or no boundaries. I agree with the previous posters that stating you're taking 'me' time is very reasonable. You might encourage him to check out meetup.com and find some groups and activities he might be interested in. These are difficult conversations, but one of Brené Brown's mantras is "choose discomfort over resentment" and that's really key, otherwise you're going to be really unhappy, and that will ultimately make things worse.
You're not a terrible person. He's a completely random guy you just moved in with! Even if you guys were bestfriends or in a super serious relationship, having time apart is healthy.
