Hi all. I just wanted to make a thread about bottom dysphoria and the expectations of being trans as this is something that has been on my mind. When I was earlier in transition, I had the idea that I would get all of the surgeries offered to trans men. So far I have been on testosterone for a year and half, and had top surgery last month. People always ask me what surgeries I’ve had or am planning to have and honestly it’s a loaded question. I heard a common experience among trans men is that your dysphoria can shift to other parts of your body, such as having worse bottom dysphoria after top surgery. I used to be really insecure about my lack of a dick, for loss of better words. But as my transition went on my comfort in my body overall has kind of overridden that. Of course, I wish I had been born with one. But as I have researched phalloplasty and the other bottom surgeries I got scared. It still feels experimental to me and while the results sometimes turn out really well, there are so many possible complications that could happen. Also I really don’t want the RF scar from phalloplasty on my arm. I just got past the initial recovery of top surgery, and I was in a lot of pain. I cried almost every day from pain for the first week. I cannot imagine being in and out of the hospital over the course of a year or more having the multiple surgeries. The pain would just be too much for me. Not to mention I have no support from family to help me through the process. While I know the whole “trans enough” thing is a load of shit, I still feel like I am expected - as a trans man - to get bottom surgery as the final step to becoming a “real” man. It is always the question I am asked or the question people ask my friends. “What surgeries has he had?” But it almost seems like what they really want to know is whether I have a dick and if not when am I going to get one. I have been told multiple times things like “if God had wanted you to be a man he would have given you a penis.” Even the masculinity of cis men is called into question based on their size. The thing is, if it was just me alone I wouldn’t care about not having a dick. It’s just that there is so much pressure from society and even in some parts of the trans community that my transition isn’t complete until I have the final surgery. I am happy with using a prosthetic for sex, but in my everyday life packing just feels like a bother. I just don’t really know how to feel about it all because everywhere around me there is so much pressure to conform to the “ideal” cisgender body. TLDR; So while I do not experience a lot of bottom dysphoria, I feel like I should still be wanting bottoms surgery because that is what is expected of trans men. How do you navigate the expectations of being trans in regard to bottom surgery - both in your private and public life? Also this thread is not only directed at trans men, anyone feel free to add.