I'm not 100% sure that I'm a lesbian, what I can tell you is that I've never been in a relationship or had a sexual experience with anyone. I don't like the sexual fluidity think either, because it makes it sound like I might like women now but then in 10 years I will want a man. I don't know if I every really wanted to be with a man or not, but for the past few years I have had no interest in being with men. I decided to go to therapy to help me figure this out along with a bunch of other issues. I feel like the therapist wants some kind of justification from my childhood to explain everything. I don't get it. How am I supposed to know if I was sexually attracted to women at age 5? I can't even remember what I did last week. OK getting that out of the way, does anyone have any books or article about women discovering they're into women without a sexual story behind it. I'm looking for things that don't end in..... I kissed her and we had sex and then I knew I was a lesbian kind of thing. Or something that doesn't involve a women who was married to a man then discovered she like women. I guess I'm truly trying to figure out is if I know I don't want to sleep with a man does that mean i want to make a life with a women? I'm not the type of person who can just sleep around either so it's an all or nothing thing for me. I'll struggling to know if i'm all in or not.
from experience i can say that trying to see things black or white (gay or straight) and trying to make myself "pick" has created more pain than was needed...i have never kissed a woman but i just feel that whenever i find a woman attractive the "pull" is so intense. i want to be with her, make her laugh, care for her, hold her...etc (none of which involve kissing and still its so much more than i would want to do with men or any of my friends)..sorry this is no book or article, just my life!
That does help a little, thank you. When I got home from college I remember having this intense feeling of wanting to connect with a women on an emotional level. At the time I thought I was just looking for a friend (it's hard for me to find friends) now I think it's more than that. Part of my problem is that it's hard for me to feel a sexual attraction to actual people. There is a women I met through a facebook group and while I've been commenting on her post and sent her messages. I like that rapport we have on FB, but when I see her in person I don't know if I'm really attracted to her or just like her enough to want to be friends.
