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Books and articles on LGBTQ That may help

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Kay, Mar 3, 2013.

  1. Kay

    Kay Guest

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    It was suggested by dear Parsley that I create a thread on helpful books on LGBTQ topics. I have for years studied our culture and history. I have read many books and articles. I will post as I go along. Most of my reading covers Lesbian topics and polyamory. I do have some gay oriented books on my shelves as well. I will start this with a few books and an article. Hugs

    Lesbian History: Home
    this is a history of lesbian culture

    Dear John I love Jane by Candace Walsh
    This is about coming out when in a straight relationship. Though it is directed at lesbians and shares their experiences it can be helpful to gays as well.

    Late Bloomers by Robbi (Robin) McCoy
    Same as above this covers coming out later in life again can be beneficial to gays.

    Lesbian Origins by Susan Calvin
    A history of Lesbianism

    Lesbian Ethics by Sarah Lucia Hoagland
    This is a grand philosophy about breaking with hetrosexualism. It discusses the heterosexual norms we do not have to follow and how we must push forward to create and generate a new culture that is ours and not a match to the heterosexual dynamic.
    It discusses the LGBTQ chase for marriage and how this is an imitation of the heterosexual idea of love. Are we the same as the straight people? Are we standing in the field they created within there comfort zone?


    The Lesbian Polyamory Reader Open Relationships, Non-Monogamy and Casual Sex
    Edited by Marica Munson and so on

    This book covers open relationships of more than two. Can a woman be in love with two people equally? Can a man be in love with more than one? Are we that limited is our ability to love so small.
    Back in the 70's I live in a commune with my partner in life my joy and everything and four other women. We shared all we had and live in a one room house and the bathroom was outside and had a crescent moon on the door. LOL We loved each other in every way. Yes group sex nude gardening. I am still with my partner and never engaged in any relations hip without her. We are capable of loving six ten twenty Our hearts are that big if we remove the ideals the heterosexual wold gives us.


    Lesbian Philosophy by Jeffner Allen
    This is simply a philosophy designed and thought out for lesbians.
    I will add more later I have messages I would like to respond to.
     
  2. newgirl31

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    Thank you! Thank you!
     
  3. Kay

    Kay Guest

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    You are welcome love. Hugs

    ---------- Post added 3rd Mar 2013 at 11:43 PM ----------

    In 'Beginners,' A Gay Man Comes Out Late In Life : NPR
    A story of coming out late for the guys here. i hope you find this interesting It works for me. Hugs guys

    ---------- Post added 3rd Mar 2013 at 11:48 PM ----------

    Queerty

    A gay newsletter for all the queer news you could want.
     
  4. Kay

    Kay Guest

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    Boys Like Us: Gay Writers Tell Their Coming Out Stories by Patrick Merla
    As stated a book for the guys of coming out stories an excellent read.

    A Woman Like That: Lesbian And Bisexual Writers Tell Their Coming Out Stories Edited by Joan Larkin

    Another book on coming out. These are actual coming out stories good and bad very touching. It is a great read.

    Polyamory: The New Love Without Limits : Secrets of Sustainable Intimate Relationships by Deborah M. Anapol
    Learning to love outside the bounds of the heterosexual rule book where a man sleeping around is a stud and a woman is a slut. Go figure. It is time we all broke the chains that bind us.

    Polyamory in the 21st Century: Love and Intimacy with Multiple Partners by Deborah Anapol
    A second book by the above author. It is good but the first was somewhat better. Hugs
     
  5. Kay

    Kay Guest

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    I found one more on my shelves that is an interesting read.

    Married Women Who Love Women, Second Edition by Carren Strock
    This is what it says it is. hugs
     
  6. PurpleCrab

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    Woa! (!) What a cool concept!
    I especially love the idea to mature as a couple beyond the negative feelings of jealousy and ill possessiveness. When you agree to it, there's no lie, just the good stuff.
    And we have established that together, me and my wife. Not exactly in the terms you're describing though...
    How it is for us is that we put our own relationship on the top. We are the couple, the soulmates, our little family bubble is our life priority.
    But then... we are completely free (and glad for each other when that happens!) to develop other loving relationships with other people. Our thought; why stop a great friendship from it naturally evolving its own path?
    Also, sex. Having sex with other people in no way diminishes what we have and live together.
    We have clear limits though and those help us remain at ease with this freedom by emphasizing the bond that we have together.

    Nowadays though... we decided to put a break in the openness of our relationship until our lives return to normal (with the imminent birth of our last daughter). Nothing wrong with that; it's just that we need 100% of each other at this time! (*hug*)

    By the way, great tread Kay!!!:eusa_clap
     
  7. Kay

    Kay Guest

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    I think a polyamorous relationship needs some rules so the couple feels that comfort level. W know relationship evolve into loves and to not explore such intimacy with a person you have grown to love is foolish. We do and it is good for us and for our life together. Our rules are a tad different as we explore new and different partners as a couple. We have had three in the bed and seven in the bed. We had a great gathering with long term friends and as it was winding down some thought they would like to stay as we had a giant unpajama party. That was the night seven stayed and so we were nine. We see these women all the time and some plan to stay the night whenever the come over. Some stay longer than a night and we share the cooking and cleaning and all that goes with relationship.
    A few years back a couple took there two week vacation at our house. It was marvelous. Nothing though is casual about our sex. It grows out of a loving friendship that requires growth and intimacy. We make love and it can last hours as we explore. It is a lovely way to handle a relationship. It has made us strong and united in every way. Hugs sweetie
     
  8. Lez

    Lez
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    Thank you for posting!!!
     
  9. Kay

    Kay Guest

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    I have been dusting off the book shelves and two more books have popped up.
    From Wedded Wife to Lesbian Life: Stories of Transformation by Deborah Abbott
    The title is self explanatory.
    Another one for the guys, in which the M.D. tells his own story. This one is only a couple of years old released in 2011.

    Finally Out: Letting Go of Living Straight, A Psychiatrist's Own Story by Loren A. Olson, MD, DLFAPA
    I will keep an eye out for other titles that are good. The more we all know the better when faced with the challenges of coming out late in life. hugs
     
  10. skiff

    skiff Guest

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    Curious...

    What are the uncensored writings of the Greeks from ancient times?

    That might prove interesting.

    Stuck
     
  11. Kay

    Kay Guest

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    These include the writings of Sappho's of Lesbos and Alcaeus of Mytilene from around 600 BCE. They were among the nine lyric poets. There are also other writings from this era. Hugs
     
  12. skiff

    skiff Guest

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    Hi,

    Any of these ancient writings online today?

    Many Roman texts are online, any of the authors you point out?

    As you indicate it is poetry, I assume then there were no ethical debates, it was simply another natural state for individuals and society?

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    Stuck

    ---------- Post added 6th Mar 2013 at 09:03 AM ----------

    The Complete Poems of Sappho

    ---------- Post added 6th Mar 2013 at 09:18 AM ----------

    There is this from Wikipedia;



    ---------- Post added 6th Mar 2013 at 09:22 AM ----------

    Anybody skipped ahead and read the last chapter of humanity where sex was based in something other than dominance? :slight_smile:
     
    #12 skiff, Mar 6, 2013
    Last edited: Mar 6, 2013
  13. Kay

    Kay Guest

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    There were debates and Sappho was fully accepted. When you consider the ancient world we find gays and lesbians everywhere it must not have been a big deal. Even the American Indians accepted gays as being two spirited people and they were most of the time revered by the tribe.

    ---------- Post added 6th Mar 2013 at 04:03 PM ----------

    I think there is much to be learned from older texts on human sexuality and what is and what isn't normal. We can also see what marriage is. It is based on ownership. Women are owned. Women until more recently always took the husbands name. Mothers and fathers give the daughter away and no one gives the man away. The entire process of hetero marriage is derogatory to the woman. Another custom that has slipped away to a degree is that the woman's family pays for the weddings. This goes back to the old I will give you that cow for your daughter. The father shakes hand takes the cow and turns the daughter over with a bit of cash.
    I certainly do not want to be owned by anyone.
    I have fought for years for same sex marriage yet I know the slip of paper is only a symbol of equality and meaningless to life. So yes there are a lot of tales and discourses on sexuality from the ancients. Many of the Roman Emperors were gay.
     
  14. skiff

    skiff Guest

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    Hi,

    So what thing in history began the shift?

    Ancient times seemed balanced but then a shift started.

    If you go way, way back in related DNA; chimpanzees are dominated by males and chimps make war according to Goodall.

    http://youtu.be/s0kuMS-EATs

    Bonobos (closet DNA cousin>99%) are female dominated and do not make war. Bonobos incorporate homosexual behaviour into their lives.

    Where did humanity go wrong?

    Stuck
     
    #14 skiff, Mar 6, 2013
    Last edited: Mar 6, 2013
  15. Kay

    Kay Guest

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    The shift began when certain Religions were made the laws of the land and or the laws that the majority lived by. I do not slap at religion or religious people. The influence on the LGBTQ community since days gone by has been awful.
    Humanity bought into the fact that sexuality was between two people a man and woman as religion suggests. The amount of infidelity in marriage disproves that we monogamous.
    The Bonobo is a perfect example of a Bisexual structure.

    ---------- Post added 6th Mar 2013 at 04:56 PM ----------

    If we as LGBTQ could just break away from repeating the mistakes of the past we may have found our true calling. We need to be queer and free to be . Not queer and just like them. This was one of the reasons Polyamory has come up. Are we only capable of loving one other partner.
     
  16. skiff

    skiff Guest

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    Just to be clear...

    God is not the issue here, but rather individuals consolidating power under the guise of man made theo/political structures?

    A good example is the Gospel of Thomas which was omitted from the bible and then suppressed. Here is an example;

    ===
    “22) Jesus saw infants being suckled. He said to His disciples, "These infants being suckled are like those who enter the Kingdom."

    They said to Him, "Shall we then, as children, enter the Kingdom?"

    Jesus said to them, "When “you make the two one, and when you make the inside like the outside and the outside like the inside, and the above like the below, and when you make the male and the female one and the same, so that the male not be male nor the female female; and when you fashion eyes in the place of an eye, and a hand “in place of a hand, and a foot in place of a foot, and a likeness in place of a likeness; then will you enter [the Kingdom].”

    Excerpt From: Thomas O. Lambdin. “The Gospel Of Thomas.”
    ===

    The "body and sexual identification seem unimportant.

    Stuck
     
  17. Kay

    Kay Guest

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    God has never been an issue for me. I see faith as a wonderful thing and has helped some very beautiful people move forward. But where I see religion has made a few errors when it tries to extrapolate from the sources available avoiding other sources to make the point it wants. Why should marriage be two? Why should it be a man and a woman? Where did the original Jewish texts gets such information? If we consider the human as a biological animal and examine those behaviors we see that sexuality is all over the map. There is no real structure except that which humans put on it. If I set the rules i can control the people. The churches in many ways have set the rules. God had nothing to do with it. The Body and sexual identification don't have anything to do with it. we are as sexual beings in our heads. I am a female I like females and am sexually drawn to them. Does this make me bad or wrong no of course not.
    When two people are married they are supposed to be faithful unto death. They are also according to church texts only supposed to have sex for reproduction. I see that happening. LOL The laws also mess with the process. A male comes into his own sexually at around 17 or 18 and yet the laws say he cannot marry until he is 21 or 18 if he can convince his parents to sign.
    Humans have messed with the process.
     
  18. skiff

    skiff Guest

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    Kay,

    We are so skewed we believe our own lies and view them as "normal".

    Take colic or simply crying in an infant. In the wild how long would a crying infant last? It would attract predators to the troop from miles around. Same thing applies to snoring in your sleep. In the wild you would awake to teeth and claws.

    We accept these things as "normal" today but when you think about them they are absurd.

    We have massively screwed up somewhere.
     
  19. Kay

    Kay Guest

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    Yes do do believe our own lies. As long as we try and continue to propagate them we will have all the sexual confusion we do have.
    I heard a talk years ago where the Prof explained that when we as a people gave up our sexual freedom we lost the ship. i tend to agree. The puritanical nature of the US is what creates many problems. Many do not see the Puritan nature. It is there and underlies the difficulties with much of our sexuality. Why is it hard to come out? Well we will be judged. Why will we be judged? Because of the Puritanism and people think this is a religious nation when it is based on a secular structure and has nothing to do with religion. I do not want to give the impression i am attacking faith. Individual belief and faith is wonderful. It is truth. It is grand there is one that i know of and probably meny more who have beautiful faith systems. When it moves into the hands of church that beautiful faith can become a mess.
    I would be seen as wrong for my lesbianism. It would be celebrated by all of than who know i was with a partner for 41 years. But once they knew I was queer the 41 years counts for nothing. Yet people of faith find the relationship wonder and they have personal relationships with God.
    We all need to break away from the trappings we call truth and find out how loving we can be if we are free to do so. Love is so blissful and joyous if it is a celebration and not an ownership. Hugs.
     
  20. skiff

    skiff Guest

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    Hi,

    I was writing to somebody earlier about heroes.

    In thinking about heroes I have none. I have never seen one that wasn't playing their angle. Then what happens when "hero" turns out to be "flawed human".

    I decided my hero is the person I want to be, not the man I am.