Bisexual who only wants to date women?

Same here. I'm digging all the more artsy and bi guys available

 

I feel similar to the point where I have thought about changing labels and have started to wonder if I am even bi at all and if my "attraction' to men is/ever was sexual and not just esthetic.

Since very early years I used to prefer girls/women over boys/men but mentally convinced myself I was straight and that attraction to guys would come and I have been attracted to men enough to have sex with them but it was always disappointing and there was always a part of me wishing I was with a girl insead. I have never dated men though, never had any interest in that and while I happily go on dates with women I have always always talked myself out of dates with men even ones who were technically my type and great on papers. It's been 4 years since I have came out and exclusively seek out women and it feels so right and I am much more excited about life and the prospect of a relationship now than when I identified as straight. The only thing holding me back from calling myself gay is the fact that at some point in my life I felt enough attraction to men to have sex with them, and while I wonder if it wasn't due to self-inflicted homophobia and the will to fit in etc.... I just don't want to take the risk to misuse the label. As it stands now though, I don't really plan on ever being involved with men on any type of romantic or sexual level again.

 

Why did you go out with those guys? Because they asked you out or because you were attracted to them? I also fantasized my whole life about men (due to internalized biphobia in my case), now my attraction to men and women comes in cycles, I think it has something to do with my menstruation cycle. I also am not able to connect with a lot of men but when I do, it's always a very deep connection.

 

This is a continuation of my previous post. I will answer your last post in another post. I can only have that deep connection with feminine men though. I don't think it's the result of childhood trauma although in my case it could be. My father is a very dominant and controlling man. It's just that I don't really believe that childhood trauma can alter your taste in men.

 

OK, so in that case, how do you know it wouldn't work out with a guy you were genuinely attracted to?

I didn't date guys who were interested in me, I asked the guys out I was interested in . I recommend trying to date a guy you are actually sexually attracted to. Just see how that goes. I don't connect with many men either. There are not a lot of feminine men and unfortunately a lot of them are hiding their feminity well because of social expectations.

 

Oh ok. I think I should add that contrary to you I did feel attraction to feminine men from a young age. I was totally into my hairdresser when I was a kid and head over heels in love with a boy in my teenage years. That was definitely genuine attraction. I would have had sex with him the first time I went on a date with him if it had been possible. Unfortunately for me he turned out to be gay. But he was my first kiss and my best kiss ever .

 

Besides the earth moving, the stars exploding, the goosebumps and blushing, it's no biggie.

 

I believe it can and does affect you. I was bullied by a larger blond guy when I was a kid. As a bisexual, I won't even consider being in any situation where it feels like a guy that looks like that would "dominate" me. I get actually repulsed by the idea of sex with a guy like that. I was bullied not sexually abused.

My wife's brother beat her up and she cannot be around guys that look like him...

Early childhood experiences matter...a lot. My favorite aunt and great aunt are/were both gay. I have always had this comfort with lesbians (my sister's partner made me an "honorary lesbian")

I think a lot of us look to be around, or look to get away from, people that remind is of those in our past.

 

@Nickw It know it does affect me, it's just that I don't think it affects my taste in men, although it's possible. But my attraction feels very genuine. I wasn't sexually abused but I know I was physically restrained against my will at least once. He tried to physically control me (next to all the other attempts to control me). And he succeeded because he was way stronger than me. It was definitely traumatic and I know it has an influence on me, on my relationships and on my sex life (I have to feel like I can get away all the time so some positions are a no go). I'm seeing a psychologist to help me with this.

 

I am so sorry this happened to you. Men can be such asshats.

I sometimes wonder why all women aren't gay.

 

I am in a similar situation. I am attracted to women a bit more than men and tend to find hanging out with them is more fulfilling, although i still enjoy hanging out with guys mainly cuz they like all the geeky stuff im into which the girls tend to not understand.

But when i think of being in a relationship being with a woman seems more appealing. I tend to be attracted to feminine guys or really buff guys, but hey who can resist a rock hard set of abs, either in a guy or girl they are sexy.

Anyways when i think about doing romantic things like kissing i usually envision a woman except for the time I had a crush on a trans guy.

For me the label of being bisexual just felt right. For now im not going to worry about it too much, i haven't even been on a date with anyone yet, and identifying as bi is a lot easier for other people to understand than trying to describe this to everyone I have to come out to. In the end they are just labels, i might add more or they might change. But for now i feel comfortable identifying as bisexual. And I know for sure that i am attracted to both so it is atleast a place to start.

 

It is nice to find someone who can relate!