So I always thought I am alone in this, but since the world counts 7.3 billion people that is highly unlikely. I have posted some threads on wanting to be with a woman and doubting my bisexuality. I sometimes think I am 100% homosexual but confused. I am currently with a boyfriend, which makes me appear heterosexual. In the meantime I watch (stalk) lesbians vlogging about their relationships on youtube, marvel at women's beauty and attractiveness in the streets, envy lesbian relationships and feeling weird in my new found heterosexual identity. During sex I keep worrying about my fantasies, which mainly include women. Apart from the sex with my boyfriend I can fantasize about men. If have a weird thing of somehow liking men, but not being included in my fantasies. If it is another woman or man, than I am fine with it. I have to disassociate to be able to enjoy the fantasies about men. It is a little weird, I know. BUT I just realized that right after dating women, I was okay with dating men. In fact, I dated 5 of them and I liked one man in particular a whole lot (my current boyfriend). I somehow knew I wanted to 'claim' him and eventually I did. I was thrilled and talked about him all the time. 2 years later and I have tried to break up with him twice, cried multiple times over not being able to express my queerness (quite a empty feeling, to be honest) and not feeling as heterosexual as I should, worrying about leaving him for a woman if we would marry because I found out I am gay after all. We have an open relationship, which I initiated because I want space to breathe. I am confused, since I am quite happy with him. After a while of doubting whether I want to be with him, I realize he is perfect for me and I regret everything I thought. I all of a sudden also notice that I find some men I know attractive. I cannot find peace in this relationship and I don't know why. I love this man and he means a lot to me, but is it really the love you need for making a committed relationship work? I still remember the moment I realized I might like girls. I was confused for such a long time, since I always new I was different and repulsed by marriage and hetero couples, but I was not sexually repulsed by men. The weird thing was that I could picture men in homosexual relationships and I really liked the idea, but of course there was no place for me. The moment I pictured me and another girl together something clicked and I cried the whole evening while listening to sad Demi Lovato music. I was a mess. When will I be sure about my sexuality? I came out of the closet as a lesbian when I was 16, then everyone assumed I was bisexual when I got with my boyfriend at age 19, and now I just call myself bisexual. The only think I am 100% sure about is that I am NOT straight Because of all this I now know everything there is to know about sexual and romantic attraction and identities and end up educating straight people on the subject. I just don;t know whether my restlessness stems from being actually a lesbian or being young and not ready for commitment. I really want some opinions of self-identifying lesbians, gays, bis, poly- and pansexuals on this. I have seriously considered posting this in the 'lgbt later in life' section, since I am worried about realizing homosexuality when I am much older. We have talked about moving in together but first I desperately want to be content with myself. Thanks lots for ready my ramble <3 any reply, advice or experience stories are much appreciated.