Hey, this is for me to try and write down why i think i am either a Lesbian or Bisexual. You don't have to reply but I would like your comments if you want to comment! Bisexual - or Lesbian opening ^/\^ I always did not think i was going to come out because when i was born i always defeated the point i could ever be Bi but i kept keeping it in on why i wanted to be Bi. I feel more safe around women on why I think i might be a lesbian. i been raped by 5 men at once and i just felt like i was going to be hurt all the time and i am just thinking, I like the connection i have with women and i love how loving they are, I am strange if you can't love me and my Dog then I am sorry but no way am I getting to know you! I just always loved men for the loving side of the relationship i always felt i could tell men how i feel and they dont make it a bit problem but i used to tell them and they used to abuse me so i feel unsafe around men and i know i like women more because i feel like they can love me. - Ayla I went to the hospital once with my best friend due to me having surgery i felt safe that i had someone who would support and answer questions for me and i am glad he came but he laughed after i said i am Bi he then abused me and i cried because now he is horrible he hurts my feelings and the one time i needed someone i got laughed at and judged i feel life is so unfair to me because anyone i become friends with abuse or attack my feelings. Why I think I might be Lesbian - I look at women a different way I did wen I was younger, I feel different funny feelings of wanting to kiss them softly and it's weird because I can't look at a man and think that so that's my first point on why I feel so close to women. The second reason is I can open up and i feel a sexual feeling ( not all the time ) that I would not feel if i was to get close to a man and I am not into kissing straight away. I am more drawn to be Lesbian as, I can look at a women, I sense a connection i talk to them and i feel i want to get close to them but i dont normally with a man. Why I think I might be Bisexual - I tend to fancy men who are not my type, I am a needy girl due to past trauma i lost my daughter and i feel a man can give me that fun or love. But, now i think women can give me that love i need but if i look at a man i dont want sexual activity i just want to get close and we flirt etc. I havent flirt with a man for a very long time because i got raped and i am scared of men but if i were in the streets or in a club and a man came up to me offering anything and i thought he was nice after talking to him then i would and its the same with me and a girl. HELLLLOPPPPPPP
Hello again, Ayla. From what I'm seeing here, it seems your comfort level being stronger with women isn't borne naturally of a stronger attraction, but based on the trauma of men having mistreated you. These feelings are completely understandable, and I'm so sorry you went through all of that. It's terrible to put your faith in someone and have them mistreat you like that. It is of course possible that you are lesbian and that any remaining positive feelings are the result of heteronormativity, but whether this is true or not really comes down to you. No one else can tell you what you are or what label is correct to use. If you're comfortable with bisexual, great! If you prefer lesbian, also great--as long as it resonates with you, that's what matters. Besides, labels aren't life sentences--if you find one no longer fits down the road, it's okay to use the other.
Ayla.....I agree with @BiGemini87, your reaction to men is probably being affected by your experiences with them. Of course that could also cause you to turn to women as an alternate way to find affection. Regardless of the reason, in the end the decision is up to you. As far as labels are concerned, that also is up to you. What ever you choose to call yourself is your choice. You may also choose not to label yourself at all...a lot of people prefer not to have a label. All of this takes time, there is no hurry! I t would be a good idea to really get to know someone before you become too attached to them. As you have been mistreated in the past by people you thought were friends, being very sure of a person before you get too close to them might be a good idea. I'm not suggesting cutting yourself off from people. I'm just saying that you should get to know someone quite well before going anywhere with them alone. Perhaps getting to know people in groups...going places with groups might be a step in the right direction for now. .....David
