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Bisexual People- How does your attraction to either sex differ?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by RavenWing, Nov 19, 2018.

  1. RavenWing

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    I'm a (generally) very confused teenager trying to come to terms with my sexuality and figure out whether or not I'm really bisexual or if I'm just straight. I currently have a girlfriend (I'm a girl), and I let her know about my confusion with my sexuality and that we can try things out to see if they work out.
    My question is, mostly towards bisexual women, does your attraction towards either sex feel different?
    Like, I've had a serious relationship with a guy and I know exactly what my attraction to guys is like but I've never developed the same kind of relationship with a girl to know. I feel happy when I'm with my girlfriend and like to show affection towards her but I also feel awkward and things are developing slowly rather than quickly, which I'm not used to.
    Usually with guys I have instant attraction that's strong, but with girls, I don't have that same spark. I don't get it.
    Any help would really benefit me in trying to calm myself and just figure it out.
     
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  2. CosmicWolf

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    I am bisexual and I am currently dating a girl. This is my first relationship so I'm not sure what it would be like with a guy for me.

    I can relate to things going slowly, my gf and I kissed for the first time on Sunday after like a month and a half of dating. However that was more due to not having privacy vs not wanting to. Both of us wanted to after the 2nd date. So I guess our going slow is more related to being in highschool still and living in seperate towns.

    But as far as attraction goes I tend to be an 80/20 split (prefer women). For me I feel more of an emotional connection to women and overall their body more attractive. However I still experience these things with men I just am very particular about guys. I like men that are either very athletic or the more feminine men.

    Honestly I wouldn't worry about fitting yourself into a label. If you're dating a girl and enjoy it and are attracted to them, and you also know you like men then I'd say you're bisexual, but you don't have to choose that label or any label for that matter. And even if you pick a label you can always change it later, it isn't carved in stone.
     
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  3. beenthrdonetht

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    I can't speak to what you are (should I even? or anyone?) but I can comment on what you do. It's just right. Hope you have a lovely Thanksgiving texting each other nonstop. (Just guessing about that part.)
     
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  4. lookingup9

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    Like a lot of these threads I can’t really offer super good advice so much as I can let you know I relate. I’m a bi girl, college student and my attraction to guys and girls is distinctly different.

    Going solely by physical attraction, I’m more attracted to men. Looking at complete strangers or celebrities for instance, I find men attractive more often. And I love women with short hair or when women wear suits/ties/men’s clothes. Basically androgynous girls.

    But for me physical appearance alone isn’t nearly enough for me to be drawn to someone. For me to like someone to the point of wanting to date them, I get to like their personality, and then they start to look beautiful in my eyes. And on an emotional level, I always connect more with women. I’ve know guys throughout school that I thought were “cute”, but I was never bothered that they didn’t like me back. Whereas I’ve had numerous very emotional crushes on girls throughout school. Like I would be super into them and up until now.
     
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  5. lookingup9

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    Agh I'm really frustrated, when I tried to submit my whole response it had logged me out, so I tried to copy paste what I had said and then it only posted half of it. And then there's a 5 minute time limit to editing? Anyway the rest of what I was gonna post was this -

    At this current point, I really can only see myself dating a woman but that’s also biased because there is a girl I really like currently who I’m hoping to go out with. If I can someday connect with a guy like I do with the girls I’ve liked, I wouldn’t be opposed to dating one either.

    I feel your pain because adolescence is a time of figuring yourself and your sexuality out. It sounds like it might just be awkward because it’s a new thing you’re inexperienced at, and without really trying to, (if I were you I know I’d be doing the same thing) you’re comparing it to other experiences with guys which is a different situation you’re more familiar with. I obviously can’t tell you what you should identify as or if you even need a label, but I wish you all the luck in figuring it out!
     
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  6. Lgbtqpride

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    I am attracted to a good personality.
     
  7. RavenWing

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    Update:
    As my life is a mess right now, I broke things off with my now ex-girlfriend.
    I feel like a scumbag about it, but I just couldn't handle it.
    I think that I'm straight.

    I feel like my whole identity has been shattered and I'm just so confused
     
  8. Love4Ever

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    Hey there. I'm sorry about that. I know how it can feel overwhelming if you're in the process of dealing with all this confusion and baggage. It's hard too in the midst of a relationship I'm sure. I mean, maybe taking a break is good to clear your head, but I wouldn't say you're straight because of this or because it didn't work out at this point in time. A couple years ago I was where you are even though I wasn't dating anyone. I assumed maybe I was straight too because I was frustrated, confused, and wasn't getting the responses from myself I wanted to feel. I took a break for a few years kinda and didn't focus on it and just this year I figured it out for real. I'm feeling what I want to feel at last and I know it's real. If I could change anything I would have learned to relax and accept things as they come, yes, but also I would have not given up when the going got tough, and pushed through. My internalized homophobia is what was holding me back and I had to takckle that to find my true sexuality.
     
    #8 Love4Ever, Dec 1, 2018
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2018
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  9. LaurenSkye

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    I am more likely to find a woman attractive, but when I find a man attractive my feelings of attraction are often times stronger than with women. I like men with really great bodies, but not like body-builder muscular. With women I like them with just a few curves.
     
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  10. Lgbtqpride

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    What about personality? Which type of personality do you find attractive?
     
  11. LaurenSkye

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    I really like guys who are goofy or silly, I'm can be goofy myself sometimes. With women, I like ones who are sweet and nice. Those are my favorite ones, not the only types I like, though.
     
  12. CactiCat

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    For girls I generally like when they are more physical and have a nice personality but for guys it’s is almost all personality based.