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bisexual- hard time finding the line between friend or something more

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by gubblebum, Sep 11, 2020.

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  1. gubblebum

    gubblebum
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    Hi. I've been getting really close to a female friend lately (I myself am female) and it's really hard to tell the difference between platonic and something more. We talk about living in an apartment together someday. We've been friends for about five years and have always joked around with each other in a flirting way, but within the past summer, I've been wondering if things are getting too real or crossing a line. We both have been in other long term relationships over the years and haven't really ever talked about the possibility of us being something more. She's currently on the dating scene and I'm in a longterm relationship with someone at the moment (my partner also knows that me and my friend are very close, I literally tell them everything and they don't mind it) I guess I'm just wondering if it's okay to carry on like this as long as we're both okay with it. Are some friendships just a little more intimate? And just because you want to live with someone, it doesn't necessarily mean you want a romantic relationship with them right? We are both bi/pan sexual. If we were both straight I think it would feel less scandalous. Has anyone else been in a situation like this?
     
    #1 gubblebum, Sep 11, 2020
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  2. QuietPeace

    QuietPeace
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    I am in a semi-similar situation.

    I think you should talk about this with both your friend and your long-term partner.

    If your friend is not feeling the same way and you are just misinterpreting the situation then nothing needs to be done. Some friendships are just more intimate with more hugging and more emotional sharing without it getting more serious, if this is the case is your partner ok with this sort of situation or will he/she be jealous? If your friend does want to expand your relationship you will need to consider that and decide if you want out of your current relationship or if you want to open it up.

    With your current partner you need to make sure that he/she understands what is going on with you. Let them know your orientation and friend situation and make sure that they are ok with all of it. Is your partner fine with a very close friendship or not. If you want to have both of them be very close are both of them ok with that?

    Clear communication with both of them is necessary for both relationships to be healthy.
     
    #2 QuietPeace, Sep 11, 2020
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  3. BiGemini87

    BiGemini87
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    Pretty much everything QuietPeace said: Communication is the most important thing at this juncture, especially concerning your long-term relationship. They know you and your friend are close, but do they understand the depth of that closeness, or the confused feelings you're experiencing as a result? I'm not insinuating that you've kept anything back, just that they might not have fully understood when you've been open about it. It happens, sometimes. :slight_smile: As for this friend, it might take a bit more time to feel things out, or you could be direct, if you don't fear it putting a strain in the friendship.
     
    #3 BiGemini87, Sep 12, 2020
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