So I recently moved to Ohio. One of the few friends I have is a lesbian who was in a long term relationship. I am married and have been for almost a decade. We have always been very clear with each other that we are just friends and nothing more. Everything was fine at first but after my friend and her girlfriend took a break which had nothing to do with me, all of a sudden her girlfriend seems to think me and my friend are a couple because we've hung out twice. I'm hurt that just because I'm bi it's like the fact that I'm married just went out the window. I kinda just want to pull way back and just distance myself but on the other hand I did nothing wrong. What do you all think I should do???
Welcome to EC. Some people are extremely jealous to the point where their partners are not allowed to have friends who might even remotely be considered as a possible person of interest (in my opinion this is abusive). What does your friend feel about the two of you remaining friends? If she is ok with the suspicion and if you are willing to accept being accused even if the accusation is irrational then I do not see a reason for you to distance yourself from the friendship.
I think you should talk to your friend--ideally over the phone or in person when the girlfriend is not around to influence the conversation. People in relationships are allowed to have friends and that's true regardless of the sexuality or marital status of those friends. Isolating someone from their friends is #1 in the Toxic Relationships playbook. It sounds like the girlfriend might be insecure with her relationship because of the "break" and she's reacting by becoming extra possessive. If your friend were here, I'd be highly recommending her to look at that as the red flag it is and consider extending the break to a proper break-up.
Greenvirgochick.....Hello and a great big LGBTQ+ welcome to Empty Closets! (I like your member name! ) As others have said, talk to your friend. The two of you decide how to handle this together so that the girlfriend gets the same answer from both of you. If your friend choses to cool your relationship for a while then you'll need to go with that. Whatever the two of you decide, I think that your friend's girlfriend is a problem that is going to get bigger if they get back together...she really does sound controlling. .....David
