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Bi male

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by Shirk Douglas, May 12, 2024.

  1. Shirk Douglas

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    Hi, lovely to be here :slight_smile:
    I’m a 41 year old bi male who has lived a straight public life up until this point, leaving behind a trail of ex girlfriends and a couple of failed marriages to everyone on the outside looking in.
    I started cross dressing when I was 11 thanks to the readily available wardrobe of my 14 year old sister who was a similar size. We had a mutual understanding as I caught her smoking in her bedroom and she caught me wearing her fake leather trousers in my bedroom so neither of us told our mum on the other and neither of us got in trouble lol.
    All of my experiences with boys and men have always been hidden away and in secret. I dabbled with boys in my early teens, usually just innocent kissing, fumbling and touching in toilet cubicles, but when I was 14 a full sexual ‘relationship’ developed with one with of my dad’s friends and I’d go to his flat every day after school, which lasted for about a year. Everything since has been opportunist one-off encounters with random men I never saw again.
    Anyway, it’s a big step to just write this down, even anonymously, so thanks for listening x
     
  2. Jayo

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    Hi . I’m 40 years old and bi and this year I also have begun to accept that this is a big part of who I am . Same as you I developed a sexual relationship at 14 with a close friend I grew up with. I also started trying on panties around 13 . I’m currently married and I’ve been married for 20 years to her . In my case I think I tried to tell myself it was just experimenting but the feeling never really went away I just stuffed it deep down in a little compartment and locked it away. Now just taking the first step of admitting to myself I’m not straight and to anyone who listens on here feels like a little weight off me . I hope you find lots of support here like I have
     
  3. Shirk Douglas

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    Hi Jayo, thanks very much for taking the time to reply - it was lovely to hear from you :slight_smile:
     
  4. Jayo

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    You’re welcome
     
  5. quebec

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    Shirk.....Hello again! Glad you made a post here in the Welcome Lounge and we're glad that you found us here on EC too! You may want to check out the forum that is titled "Sexual Orientation”, there are people there who may have dealt with some of the same kind of issues that could be challenging you.
    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
  6. Shirk Douglas

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    Thank you David, much appreciated. This seems like such a helpful forum with a lot of people in a similar position as me. I’m so glad I found it.
     
  7. Jakebusman

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    Hi welcome to EC from another Bi guy !
     
  8. tallslenderguy

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    Hi "Shirk,"

    Welcome to EC. i'm fairly new as well. Have hit the magical 14 days though and am waiting to be accepted as a full member (i only did it for the new car you get).
    Your story is so familiar, and sadly common. Most of us grow up in cultures that do not recognize individuality, especially of the sexual variety. That leaves us conditioned against some of the most intimate parts of our self, parts that find a way to fumble and function in the dark. i too had many secret encounters, though i didn't have sex with a guy till i was 26, my mind had sex with guys thousands of times prior, though i also did the "dabble" scene as a youth.
    i look at the many "one-off encounters" i've had as a sort of self medicating that helped that inner suppressed and repressed part of me survive. Kind of like the fast food version of intimacy. i've come to think such a diet eventually leads to an emotional heart attack, and we end up at a care facility like EC.
    We're kind of an AA of the LBGQT+ community. i hope you find the healing and support you seek.
     
  9. Shirk Douglas

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    Thank you Jakebusman and tallslenderguy for your warm welcomes and kind words. You’re right, our situation is very common and forums such as this are so important in realising that you’re not on your own. My big regret is not being open about who I am and most (if not all) of my sexual pleasure has been hidden away and done in secret through fear of how I’d be judged.
    Anyway, thanks again and I look forward to getting my new car in due course :slight_smile: