BI, but feel like I am turning gay?

When discovering new bits in your own sexuality this can happen for many reasons. When discovering that new attraction comes about later in your life, it’s pretty inevitable that it becomes dominant just due to be fact it’s.. well a very new feeling/idea for you! All your life you’ve been living as straight, and although sexualities are fairly fixed.. you can still build tolerances with it through porn, lots of sex experiences and just living with it for a while.. though it shouldn’t go away completely. For now let things take course for your brain to get used to these new feelings.. I can tell by how your posting very frequently it’s stressing you out and leaving you very confused. You’re gonna be ok. I went through the same exact thing as you and now my attractions are about 60-40% and sometimes the other way around. I always prefer one over the other but just by a small amount. If your attractions to women are genuine they will stay. The only thing that concerns me is “my gut keeps telling me it’s wrong to have sex”. I’m not sure what you mean. We’re you feeling that it was wrong to have sex in general or just with her/women?

 

Your attraction may have been repressed, or It could just be fluctuating. This happens to bisexuals. Give it some time. If this persists for months, that will be cause for real concern. Especially with the gut reaction of you feeling wrong to be sexual with women.

 

I have have struggles with this too. I have a gf, but I like to Look at guys as much as girls. I can appreciate a nice looking body on both, and I can get arroused by both. When I was was in school I would find myself checking out other guys in the locker room - told myself I was looking to compare my self to. I think everyone does that to some extent. This bothered me for a long time. I talked a female psychiatrist and explained my thoughts and feelings. She said a Whole Lot of people experiement with bi sexuality but would Never admit it, that she Too likes to be with another girl once in a while. She told me to go ahead once in a while to crave my sexual desire and I don't have to tell anyone or worry about labels. So I do, sometimes I just want to enjoy being with another guy. Yesterday I was masturbating to girls, Today I crave a hot guy.

 

Don't worry about putting a label on your self. Have you been with a girl sexually- have you been with a guy sexually. Do you like it. You may go back and forth like me. I don't think I am gay But I have done Very gay things, I have done Very straight things too. I know i give better head than my Girlfriend does, I enjoy going down on girls and guys but I guess I Do enjoy dick more so what. I do what I feel like at the time

 

I guess that's just How It feels sometimes no matter if your with a girl or guy. Sometimes intercourse with my gf feels really good and other times not so much. Sometimes I am giving head to a good-looking guy and it is just enjoyable pleasing someone how I know it feels good to me, Then one-time this guy was very forceful and cramed it in my mouth very hard hurting me. I think he did it on purpose, He was Out- Gay and knew I am not, I didn't enjoy That time At all. But this guy last year said I was the best he ever had, and I enjoyed it too.

 

Only you can know what you are. But I also have moments I feel gay and moments I feel straight. I actually think it's some kind of biphobia, my mind still trying to choose between one or the other. It's also possible you're gay of course, sometimes gay people have a bisexual phase before realizing they are gay.

 

I know this is stressful for you, but constantly questioning your sexuality is only going to worry you unnecessarily. The best thing you can do is relax. I don't think you're gay or turning gay, you're just in a "man phase" which is totally normal. If it helps, I've been in a woman phase a lot lately. I have been feeling pretty gay for about a month funnily enough, just like you, and men aren't really a big priority for me at the moment. It's totally normal to feel this way. Especially if you're new to figuring out your sexuality or you don't have actual real life experience with the gender you're fantasizing about, hence being it seem even more appealing. I really would advise you tell your girlfriend what's going on in your head. Bottling this up is probably making this even more difficult for you because when we're in the closet, it can start to make our feelings feel like our dirty little secret, or that we should be ashamed of them. Even telling one person can help, especially if you're close to that person.

 

This has happened to me too. My desire for women has really increased this year. Still doesn't make me a lesbian though or make you gay. It just means our interests have shifted a little, whether for a while or a little. Sometimes I like to think of it as playing catch up. Just think of all the years you might not have realized your attraction to men.

 

It never used to be higher for me either. It's all normal fluctuation. I promise, it will all work out. Just hang in there. I think it's great you opened up to her.

 

BTW If you need to talk ever I am always available. I know how it can feel to feel like your feelings are all pushed down inside.

 

Nicholas7

Not to confuse what Chip wrote which is pretty spot on for a lot of guys. But, I cycle like you describe although it is more that I tend to be into men intensely for a year or two and then it fades back to women. That said, there is a type of man and a type of woman who will get to me no matter where I am in the cycle and I won't notice anyone but that person. I just cannot deny the attraction to both.

Now, after I came out to my wife, I was disinterested in men for awhile because my relationship with my wife became so intense. One day she suggested I try limited intimacy with a man. I could not think of anything except men for awhile....maybe the last 18 months. I was attracted to my wife but I desired only men. I explored some with men and my curiosity was satisfied. Now, the thought of being with a man is not all that exciting even though I will still see a hot guy and he will turn my head.

For me, it comes down to the new and exciting will drive my desires to one end of the spectrum or another. What is interesting is that now I can have intimacy with men if I chose, or with my wife, I am more back to about 40/60 men/women.

Have you been intimate with a man? For me, the grass seems to be greener on the other side of the fence (or something like that)