Right before 2020, I met someone who quickly got interested in me and we became friends fast. Fast forward to today and this person is still interested in me, but I am not interested in him like I used to be. He knows why that is, he and I would fight, him instigating them. I understand these are red flags, but this guy can be a good friend. I don't know why he's fallen for me the way he has, but I know I don't feel the same about him and I had to tell him that today and it really broke my heart, I felt horrible. I assume anyone would feel bad. I used to like him, but the fighting really numbed those feelings I used to have for him and I'm okay with being friends. I have a best guy friend who he was jealous of and used to say "I should just be best friends with a girl and spend all my time with her" and I think I'd be jealous of that, in the moment, whatever new girl that popped up, because he used to give me all his attention (right now that's still the way it is). I just keep getting caught up in my feelings and going back and forth and it's hard for me to see straight right now, but I know I'm not interested in him anymore. Maybe if we keep being friends for a couple of months, something might happen from that, but nothing now. I just feel horrible. I don't have any problems that need solving, but all this still makes my school days depressing, I felt so sick this morning, however, I definitely felt better after telling him, I'm just worried about him distancing himself from me. I don't know, he probably won't... I don't want to lose him, he's a great friend. I just wanted to share this with someone, I haven't been able to be honest about the full story with anyone else.
I think you made the right call here. You just have to remember that you would be doing far more damage by pretending to have feelings that don't exist. He deserves to know the truth, and that's what you gave. In all honesty, you may have to talk with him about some of his behaviors. If they kept you from pursuing a romantic relationship now, they can definitely pop up again and cause an issue with your friendship later. I'm also a literally freaked out with his comment about your best friend, it seems awfully possessive. I don't want to pass any judgements on your friend, I just wanted to mention that it definitely popped out to me in your statement. If you spend time with this guy and don't constantly cancel on him to hang with your best friend, then I'm not sure why he'd be so bitter. People are allowed to have more than one friend! I'm sorry that you're still feeling bad. It may not mean much, but please know that you don't have to let guilt eat you up. You did everything you could do. Hang in there!
