Being irreligious and having a religious partner (And vice versa)

First off, you spent the entire post criticizing my religion/faith so thank you for confirming the point I made at the end of my last post about atheists heavily criticizing those who follow a religion.

For someone who doesn't like "preachy" religious folk, you sure seemed preachy in your novel-length post. Basically going on an on about how religion is bad, which I find irritating. It seems atheists aren't able to live their faith in silence either and constantly have a need to tell the world about it, especially on social media. Kind of the pot calling the kettle black there, eh?

Actually, I haven't been involved with anyone (man or woman). So, yes I'm currently following the Bible, and even if I had been involved with a guy, my God is forgiving and merciful, so I'm sure He'd consider forgiveness if it turns out I am sinning, and if I'm sorry. That's what God does: forgive sinners

Lastly, I was stating my viewpoints. The OP asked for opinions on this topic from both sides of the issue. I don't understand why it seems to be acceptable for atheists to say "yeah, not into dating religious folk" and no one argues, but when a religious person has no interest in dating an atheist, then suddenly everyone loses their shit, and I'm the bad guy?

 

But I was trying to explain WHY some people may criticize religions. To give you insights as to why people may feel the way they do. Is anything I have said about religion's historical past wrong?

What was I preaching? There is nothing to preach as I do not believe in anything specific, nor do I care/ want peope to turn atheist, again I was just pointing out that not having faith doesn't mean not following the actual message behind most religious books " love others etc.."; that being religious doesn't mean you are automatically a certain type of person (again look at history) and that based on that it's interesting (not meaning "wrong" in any shape or form) you would pick a fellow religious folk over an atheist as there is no real basis to indicate one would behave in ways the other never would.
Again, I am totally fine with you dating whoever you want (do people even have time to care or get upset over it?) and being Christian/Buddhist whatever, I was just pointing out to you that being atheist doesn't mean having no morals/values/rules to follow and that while some Atheists are critical of religions aren't you critical of all the things I have stated above and against those things too? Sometimes being critical is how you or a movement grow, it's how you make progress, it doesn't mean having to reject your own religion and its values but pausing to think if all that can be done has been made and if not why? "is it the world (insert god name here) would want us to live in? If not what can I do to make it happen?' We would still be living during inquisition time and under the reign of kings and queens in very dire conditions if people hadn't been critical of their own living conditions and religion then. A lot of the freedom we have (including gay marriage) wouldn't be a thing if people had never criticized or questionned anything. Being critical and self-reflecting or questionning things isn't a bad thing. And it's perfectly okay if you don't want to date someone who is critical of your religion, but I actually think even for a religious person questionning their faith/religion and how their religion is carried out is a very normal and necessary process and a strong part of having a faith if you actually look at the bible. Isn't Jesus questioning "why Him" when on the cross dying? (If my memory serves me well) One need to question themselves and their faith to be reminded of why they believe, I suppose. It's actually what took me off Christianism and being a Christian as I just couldn't find satisfying answers to all my doubts and questions, but criticism can lead to great things for religions if done right and with the optic of bettering things for everyone in the community in mind. it doesn't have to be a bad thing.


Anyhow, I asked you questions because I was keen to hear the side of a religious person and understand their reasoning (and maybe a learn a thing or two), not because I want you to stop believing in what you believe or stop dating who you think is right for you and start dating atheists.

 

My apologies! I may have misinterpreted what you were originally trying to say, and I'm truly sorry if I blew that out of proportion.

To be honest I'm not really sure of an exact reason why I would choose a theist over an atheist. I guess part of it is familiarity (they believe in a god, I believe in a god, let's do this thing), and another part may be that I want children whom I'd like to raise believing in some form of a higher power, whereas an atheist partner may not want to have their children worship a deity. Plus, with other faiths, I tend to get curious and ask "how does this work in your church/faith?" or "What sort of things do you guys believe in?" I have a friend who is Episcopalian (I'm Catholic), and since both of those faiths are branches of Christianity, and I wasn't really familiar with how Episcopalianism worked, I was fascinated to learn how our churches were different, and how they carried out certain customs compared to us. I have also asked Jewish friends how their faiths work. I don't think I could get that from an atheist. Granted, I have several friends who are atheists whom I talk to regularly, but there's a whole other level missing from the conversation, if that makes sense.

Oh, I question things a lot. Especially when it comes to the whole sexual-abuse scandal. I just don't understand why more priests aren't appalled by that and why Pope Francis isn't really doing anything about it. Hell, I frequently question if God is even listening to my prayers, and why He's so hands-off with the world. I have questioned interpretations of the Bible (especially regarding the issue of homosexuality). But, even with all of the questioning, I've never stopped believing in God/Jesus. I think it has to do with the fact that I find comfort in the idea that we as humans can't be alone in the universe and that there has to be some bigger force/being/power out there controlling it all and watching over us. Because if we're alone, and it's just us and the animals here on Earth, then what's the purpose of everything?

I'm sorry, again, if we got off on the wrong foot.

 

No problem, I know I have a certain writing style that can set people off on EC and it's okay, I don't get offended at people having a go at me or whatever so don't worry about it.

As an atheist/agnostic, I have no problem with my potential kids having a religion. My youngest brother was Christian not too long ago and the only one of my siblings believing in Jesus so I took the time to read him the bible and offered to take thim to Church on Sundays even though I do not believe myself, but if he is going to believe I wanted him to know that he could and to learn in a controled environment ( not from fanatics or anyone like that), his faith faded away eventually but I was supportive of him believing.

I would have no problem with my kids believing BUT I would have a problem with endoctrination. If they are going to believe I want it to be on their own accord. I don't want them to be forced fed the bible, I want to talk about life/death and other complex topics and tell them " this is what I believe happens, but here is what Christians/Muslim/Jewish/buddhist etc... think happens, you can decide what you believe in, it can be any of those things or you can start your own set of beliefs, that's also okay. " I want them to chose to believe not to believe because they are told to or for fear of (a potential) God.

 

Whoops, posted before I was done.

If they chose to believe I will be supportive of their faith and will support them attending religious events and having access to a a religious education (if they wish), I will however, make it very clear that their faith should never be used to undermine, hurt or prejudice others, that the same way I support their choice to believe I expect them to support other people's choice to be who they want and live their life according to their own set of beliefs. They don't have to agree with it but they shouldn't try and remove other people's freedom/rights based on their own faith.

It's interesting that you say that because I have always said that religion only stand because humans can't stand not being the hero of their own story and not being important, they need purpose. Very few of us believe dogs or cats or cows or pigs have a "destiny", that there is a bigger picture for them other than being alive in the moment until they are eventually gone. What is the point of their life? We are animals as much as them, the only difference being our brains being slightly more developped than theirs which ironically is what makes us overthink everything, trying to find answers to everything we can't understand but what actually entitles us to having a more important role or a purpose?
what if there is no purpose? What if this, this moment, is all we have? would that change anything? Your life would still be the same, you would still be doing the same things, maybe more actually because we would all grasp that this is it, this is our one shot at life and when it's over it's over, we would appreciate people more, love more intensely, mourn longer, fuck more and spend less time hating and trying to control others and more doing what we love. That's how I live my life, because while part of my brain wants to believe in after life and in seeing the people I love on the other side, there is no proof that it will happen, it's wishful thinking (in my eyes), so as far as I am concerned, all I have is now.

I, who believe in science and the theory of evolution, find it fascinating how we come from pretty much nothing, how from dinosaurs and no humans our planet has managed to create and take life and life again in different shape, in different form, I personally find it much more "magical" and fascinating than the idea that we were "put there " by someone, not least because if that's the case, if we were put there for a purpose, we have failed miserably. Look at the planet, what we have done to it, the amount of species who have gone instinct because of us, the amount of wars that would have never happened had we never been alive, we (as a specy) have been alive for a grand total of 8 seconds on a human time scale and look at the amount of destruction we have caused in that extremely short time span. If we do have a purpose, which is it? As a catholic, which purpose do you think we serve? Do we even deserve to have a purpose?I personally think we are the anomaly, I wish people didn't believe in "after-life" "second chances" and "bigger purpose" not because it's wrong or untrue but because if people didn't believe someone is looking out for them and will give them a second chance when needs be then people would be more careful, more cautious and more keen to preserve what we have been given and our environment.?

I guess my question is, if you knew your life had no other purpose and that there was no bigger picture, would you live your life differently, and if so why? (genuinely curious)

For me, assuming (which is unlikely) that I live to a 100 years. I have about 28.099 days left on this planet, 28000 days or less to use my life to do what I see right, to do the things I want and fight the causes I believe in while making the most of my time on this earth. 28000 days or less , it's a pretty scary thought, but it motivates me knowing that I am on a countdown to returning to nothing soon enough. My life still very much has purpose because I give it purpose, it doesn't mean I will be remembered a 100 years from now, but that I try and do purposeful things at my scale for future generations. And believe it or not it's actually much more scary not to have the comfort of a God and not have the comfort of knowing that I can easily fuck up because someone will forgive me if I regret my mistakes, but it's good in a way, because it keeps me in check. That's why, regardless of if there is a God or not, I do not fear the end of times, because if the time comes and God do exist I will have nothing to repent for. No regrets.

 

It's interesting. I actually believe in both creation and evolution. I believe God caused the Big Bang, and he created the dinosaurs and other early creatures as sort of a test run for humans and modern animals. He obviously didn't create the entire universe in just 7 days

I'm not really sure how to answer that. But it's a very good question.

 

I'm a Christian and my boyfriend is an Atheist. We get along perfectly fine and have discussed religion a bunch of times without ever getting mad at each other over it. I was always told growing up that Atheists were pretty much anarchists rebelling against God who wanted to destroy all the positive things religion does like helping the less fortunate etc. and instead wanted a 'survival of the fittest' way of life where everyone is just left to die if something bad happens to them and you can steal from or kill whoever you want because there are no consequences for it anyway if there's no God or afterlife.

Obviously that's not true and I know that after meeting actual Atheists - but for a lot of people who grew up the way I did with those thoughts they never realize it's not true so continue hating and fearing Atheists for their entire life. That's where some of the 'preachiness' comes from... they genuinely are trying to fix what they think is a dangerous person by bringing them into religion, like giving therapy to a murderer to teach them that killing people is wrong before they hurt someone again.

As far as the compatibility of beliefs and life philosophies, it was kind of eye-opening hearing my boyfriend talk about that. I believe that Christianity is at it's core a way of showing basic love for all other people and helping them if possible. He believes that helping people is good because it allows society to trust each other and function better, that way people don't have to be afraid of each other and can live their lives however they want to in peace.

When I asked him the 'but what if there really is a God and you get punished for not believing in him after you die' question his answer was that if God teaches people to help and be kind to each other, then if he does exist, he probably wouldn't care if you believed in him or not if you were helping people anyway - he would still reward you for being a good person.

I can't really find a way to disagree with that.

 

But why? What do you think is his mission for us? if you listen to Christians it seems like life is nothing but a test and the end goal is heaven, but what is the point of that for God, what purpose does it serve to God to have us here and not do anything specific (and if we had something specific to do I am pretty sure, like I said, that we are doing it terribly wrong) to then send us to live on forever in heaven. Like what benefit is it to God? What are we actually doing better than dinosaurs? And I am not talking about our intellectual/physical abilities but again, the fact that we don't actually seem to have done anything good with our abilities apart from destroying what "God" (admitting he is legit and built it all up) has given us? Again so many species have gone instict, forest destroyed, and our planet earth is slowly collapsing. What good have we done? In which way have we added anything positive to the world (planet) that existed before us?

Your answer is very interesting and I also feel like your partner, if there is a God then I don't fear him because even though I don't necessarily believe in him, I believe in making this world a better place for everyone, in helping people who need help and spreading love and kindness as much as I can. I do my best, I am flawed, but I also know have also done much better than many people who have died repenting, what kind of God would actually send me to hell for not believing despite mostly living by his "standards" of love and kindness yet would open Heaven's doors to murderers repenting on their death bed? And if that's the case and will actually happen then I don't feel one bit bad for not worshipping him at all.

 

You're asking some very good questions. Questions I have no answer to. Probably the best person to answer your questions would be a minister, or even religious experts/scholars.