Being Genderqueer While Also Identifying with Being Cis

Hello!
I have a pretty similar experience as yours. Im afab and since i was young Ive bad very short hair. I first talked to friends about my bisexuality in elemantary school. Ever since Ive been going back and forth labelling myself as bisexual or pansexual. Anyway, only recently Ive started questionning my gender and it has been a mess. Like you, ive never really felt uncomfortable being a girl and referred to as one. And on some days being more boyish felt right. The label i found that fits me best is gender fluid. For me, that means that my gender changes almost every day and its exausting (not sure how to write that lol). I experience a lot of dysphoria and confusion and its not easy but I mean, what is? So im saying all of this to remind you that you arent alone and to suggest a label that so far has been working for me. Everyones journey is different. You are seen ♡

Theo

 

You do not have to take on any label that you do not feel comfortable with. I believe that labels are for communicating things about us to other people and they should neither define or confine us.

If you do not want to take on the label of trans you do not have to. If by saying that you are not trans you mean that you do not want to medically transition then that is different. I know a lot of people who identify as trans who have not and do not plan to medically transition. On the other hand I have medically transitioned and I do not use the label of trans, trans* or transgender.

This sounds a lot like the people who I have known who called themselves genderfluid, genderqueer or a label that includes profanity that I do not prefer.

Most of the people who I have known who feel outside the gender binary say that they all clump under non-binary - so genderfluid is nonbinary to them. Those who do not feel any gender that I have known used agender.

To me hating being a binary gender sounds like the very definition of non-binary.

You can use the label of being cis gender if that is what you want. If though by this you just mean that you do not want to medically transition then it is also fine to use the labels nonbinary and trans and still not medically transition. It is about being comfortable in being who you are and communicating what it is that makes you comfortable to other people.

Those who I have known who use the label of bigender experienced feeling one or the other binary gender at different times and since you say that you hate being a binary gender it sounds to me as if bigender would not really be the correct label to communicate your preferences. Non-binary and more specifically genderfluid or genderqueer or something like that sound closer. In the end it is entirely up to you which label that you use.

 

I have near the exact same experience as you!! Its such a relief to know i’m not the only one, this was super comforting.

 

As a kid I never felt like a boy or girl and just this past summer learned Non Binary fits me

 

When I was little, I wanted to be a boy. It turned out to be a phase for me, because of my baby brother being in the picture and I was doing it for attention. When I entered adulthood, I enjoyed crossplaying male anime characters that look androgynous. Last week, I went to a second-hand store to try on male clothing. The size S mens clothing doesn't fit me right, because the back is way too big. In the end, I realized that I would not be a convincing male to people. Plus, I don't feel male at all. I currently feel both female and nonbinary.

As for advice, I say give it time to experiment with your gender identity some more. It's also good to read more about bigender and nonbinary, especially the experiences of people who are either one or both. There are tons of blogs online about that.