I am 32 years old now. I grew up intrigued by men my whole life. I had experimented with a friend when I was a preteen and had an interest from there on. In school, I did not quite fit in. and it was not because of this, I just did not fit in. I was a little overweight and struggled with my self image. I never came out fully but some people knew, and told everyone and i was scared so i denied it. I joined the Marines and experimented with men a couple times, and have always thought of myself to be gay because i desired men way more than i desired women. However, I have always dated women. But I am always asking myself if im gay.. i always want a man sexually.. and now I am married to a woman...idk what to do.. anyone?
Hey Wrecked88, welcome to the EC community. Hearing that you have a desire for both men and women leads me to wonder if you might be bisexual. I would spend some time thinking about what you desire in men and what you desire in women. I think this can help you better understand yourself. I also had a same sex experience with a friend around that age and had an interest from there on. However, like you, I have also always dated women. I spent years going back and forth thinking I'm gay and thinking I'm straight. As I've gotten to know myself more, I have realized I just like women and men differently. I'm sexually and emotionally attracted to women and only emotionally attracted to men (I have to develop emotional attraction before I find a man attractive.) I hope this helps in one way or another. If you have any questions, just let me know. I'm here to help!
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.. I wish I was more sure cause I have been back and forth forever and feel like something big is being held back. and I am more sexually into men, but i develop feelings after
Wrecker88.....Hello and a great big LGBTQ+ welcome to Empty Closets! There is a subforum here on EC that is titled "Sexual Orientation". If you post there I think you'll find people who will understand how you feel and will be able to offer support and understanding! We are so glad that you have found us here on Empty Closets! .....David
This sounds like internalized homophobia to me. You aren't comfortable, outwardly, acknowledging your attraction to men, so you date women because it's the appropriate thing to do. At least, that's what I'm picking up from your post. When you masturbate, without porn, do you ever think about women? Or mostly/almost always about men? With your wife, do you find yourself genuinely turned on and sexually excited by her? Or do you fantasize about other things or people when you're with her? Those questions can help to answer things for you. Also, to address one of the other posts: There's no data or credible support for the idea that there's a discordant split between romantic and sexual orientation, so my advice is to rule that out. It usually just confuses things rather than helps.