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Been Double Binding and other stuff

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Matto_Corvo, Apr 9, 2018.

  1. Matto_Corvo

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    Location:
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    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
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    Out to everyone
    I know everyone says not to , but I really can't stand not being all that flat. I have huge ass, double D fats sacks and a single binder doesn't do much to flatten them. I use to be fine with what a single binder could do, but the farther I go into transitioning the more frustrated I become with them.

    The binders I use are rather stretched out of shape already. One is three years old and so lose that it hardly compresses at all, the other got tossed in the drier a few times by my roommate, so its compression has been a bit comprised as well. So far I have felt no ill effects of doing this.

    On a side note, I thoroughly annoyed with customers at work. There is a 25% chance at work customers will gender me correctly, a 75% chance that they will use the wrong pronouns. I thought maybe not shaving would help with this, so I didn't shave for a week. I could grow facial hair before T, and after T it came in thinkers. My co-workers commented on the weeks worth of growth and were supportive, which helped my anxiety. On the last day I went without shaving I was called a girl by every single customer, and this was a busy ass day so that was a lot of people. It started getting to me and by the end of the day my mood and so bad, and I was so emotionally drained, that one of my co-workers kept asking if I was okay. She could tell I wasn't feel well, but she thought maybe I hadn't eaten enough during lunch so she was forcing chocolate onto me.
    When I got home I proceeded to shave the facial hair off, because of the it not helping with the being correctly gendered, but also because there were a few people that gave me strange looks that made me feel uncomfortable. So shaved, went to work the next day, and 60ish% of the customers correctly gender me. I am so confused by that.

    Talking about looks. I was came back from a 10 minute break and started bagging for a cashier. He threw the customer's bags at me. I said "Thank you, sweet heart" to him and he responded "You're welcome, sir" At calling me sir the customer's friend (who was getting her already packed bag) snapped her head up and just glared at me. She seemed to just be searching every inch of my face and I felt uncomfortable. I smiled at her and told to have good day. She watched me the whole time I bagged for her friend.

    Another customer came in one afternoon with her daughter. Her daughter look at my name tag, then turned to her mother and asked "Why is that girl's name Ryan?"
    The mom seemed almost as panicked as I felt at that question but answered with a "Well, why do you think?"
    At that point the girl turns to me and asked "Are you a boy or a girl?"
    Again, fluttering of panic through me because I am never sure how to answer. So I simply shrugged and told the girl I wasn't sure.
    Some how it was decided that I would be called a unicorn, not that I minded that. The mom explained that their is a trans-boy in her daughter's class and that they have been trying to figure out how to explain transgender to their daughter. They were in no way trying to be rude, which is why I didn't mind the unicorn thing at all. The mom actually came back in a couple of weeks later to by some stuff in the morning and we talked about anime.

    Just a lot of experiences for me these last few months.
     
    AlexJames likes this.
  2. BradThePug

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    Yeah, I remember those awkward moments like that. It is like that weird in between where you are waiting for the hormones to fully go into effect. I remember working in retail. My name tag was changed before I passed. I got so many comments about how my parents must have hated me when they named me. It was awkward..

    Be careful double bringing. Just listen to your body. If it starts to hurt, then you need to back off of that for a bit.
     
    #2 BradThePug, Apr 14, 2018
    Last edited: Apr 14, 2018
  3. Nike007

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    I'm sorry about that. I relate a lot to your situation, minus T. I love binding, but I have a big chest too, and the binder maybe, makes it one size smaller, if not, like a half size smaller. So I still got breasts to everyone else I encounter. And I'm always a girl to everyone except the people I tell that I'm trans*.

    But I believe a lot of it is being on T and not experiencing the effects you want. Unfortunately it takes time. It takes time for the body to react to these new hormones. You can not control this. In due time, you will be able to pass. It's a hard waiting game.

    Are you considering getting top surgery also?
     
  4. Matto_Corvo

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    Location:
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    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
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    Out to everyone
    Look at me falling off the face of the earth again xD
    Oh, yeah, top surgery will happen eventually. Since it is a long way off I have considered maybe getting a breast reduction. For some reason that is far cheaper and doesn't require letters.