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Becoming aware of your "gay eyes"

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by SwirlingOcean, Jun 2, 2013.

  1. PeteNJ

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    I cannot tell you how many gay men I've met -- when we talk about porn (recall, umm, that I'm "mature") -- we all looked at Playboy, Hustler, etc. Then one guy said -- the only pics he really ever looked at were the ones were there was a couple (woman & man) -- and bingo -- the light went off. Same for me. I focused on the guys in those spreads.

    Yea, I was a gay little boy...
     
  2. dogmommy

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    I know exactly what yall mean. I have had an awakening in the last 6 months of seeing things so differently. I too came from a very conservative religious family and led the cookie cutter life of two marriages and two divorces. I can see so clearly now that I was really checking other women out and not just noticing them for how small or big they were or what they were wearing. There have been only a couple of men that I have noticed and turned my head. The rest are just background for what is really in front of me.
     
  3. biggayguy

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    Yes, before I never paid much attention to someone like Liberace, Elton John, Richard Simmons. They were a bit odd but that's half of the celebrity crowd. Now it's like how could I not know? :eusa_doh:
     
  4. Runnerrunner

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    This thread has been in the forefront of my mind lately as I was trying to really decipher what it means. My response here may be off the intended topic, but it relates. I think today it became "clear." All my life, I've kept my eyes down, literally and figuratively so as not to let anyone know what I was looking at, or rather, what I wanted to be looking at, and to keep my mind from wandering into a "sinful" territory that I knew was forbidden. I used to try to force myself to look lustfully at women and that odd 'meh' feeling would ensue causing such confusion. "I don't get it," I used to think. What is the reason to be looking longingly like that? It made no sense. So the numbness, non-human feeling would resume. I have never had the slightest interest in looking at women. I cannot, now, believe how long I pretended. Ridiculous.

    Now that I am abundantly clear on the fact that I'm gay and have always been, I now get why men ogle women. Looking IS fun. Who knew? I'm not lecherous, but allowing myself to notice and not feel guilty about it is revelatory. I'm SO gay. Right now the backs of necks and awesome hair are driving me B A N A N A S.

    Now, my gaydar eyes are terrible, as I think that any attractive, well put together man just has to be gay. Oh well, guess I need some tuning.
     
  5. Parsley

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    Yes EXACTLY this! I would scold myself for looking in the back of my mind sort of subconsciously aware of it and make myself avert my eyes.

    I'm still not much of an ogler like you, but I don't scold myself for it anymore. I let myself look...and then blush and look away. :icon_redf:lol:
     
  6. biggayguy

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    Hmm, it looks like I misunderstood the topic here. Yes I would be looking at a pretty woman and slowly my eyes would drift to an equally stunning guy. Then from a sense of self-preservation and guilt I'd look away. However in the back of my mind a fantasy would grow of being next to that well-muscled chest and looking into his dark brown eyes. Then the guilt would come all over again. After coming out to myself there is no where near as much guilt. It's hard to get rid of the old programming.
     
  7. wanderinggirl

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    I definitely would like, be at bars and be like "ok who do i find attractive?" and try not to look at the women and look for guys that were more typically hot. There was no instinctual "omg that guy is a cutie" reaction; I kindof consciously picked a guy to crush on.

    Now that I'm freer and queerer, when I go out I sometimes catch myself looking at a girl's cleavage and I feel bad that i'm like disrespecting her so I try to avert my eyes but it's just such beautiful cleavage...
     
  8. PeteNJ

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    Absolutely!

    Watched Making Love many times -- I told myself that Harry Hamlin was such a great actor.

    snarf....

    I'm SO gay!
     
  9. Looking back I realized that I have had lots of girl crushes. Also, I realize that I have always been drawn to lesbian women. I did not understand it until now.

    I am SO gay! *sigh* At least I figured it out. :slight_smile:
     
  10. Tightrope

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    I've watched it a couple of times. It's not known for its high artistic value, but it is a timepiece. I think the toughest scene to watch was Kate Jackson visiting the guy her husband had a one night stand with. He was so calloused and referred to him as "a hot number," and she did an admirable job of keeping her composure. All of the acting was considered to be wooden.

    As for the two male stars, I think a person will find one more attractive than the other. It's almost a coin toss. As a baseline, I always thought Michael Ontkean was great looking. Harry Hamlin, not so much, and his persona was so flip and narcissistic that he almost bordered on being a turn-off.