Hi everyone. I wanted to write on here as a short anecdote. I have been a really big fan of Barbie and toys for as long as I can remember … I was never told as a kid that I “couldn’t play with girl toys”. As an adult I collect Barbie’s and toys in my house and don’t hide that from my parents and family. They all take interest in it. When I decided to come out to them, even though it was really scary, my dad’s reactions was funny. He said “we always knew… Barbie told us!” So my little hobby gave my family a long time to process and understand my life before I was ready to tell them my truth! I know it’s not the same for everyone, but maybe more people already know then you think. Send me a message if this sounds like you, you’ve had a similar experience, or if by chance there is another collector out there!
I don't know of something like that for me but most people knew I was a little fag before I did. I think they all had bets when I'd come out but they all lost lol. I'd be grateful if someone had done something loving to help me figure it out much sooner so I had a chance and not be destroyed by it all.
When I came out to a male friend he wasn’t shocked because I didn’t talk about liking girls around him.
I didn't talk about girls around male classmates because they were absolute pigs. Anyway, I don't think one's choice of toys (alone) should be used as a gauge for sexuality. It's about who you're into, stereotypes aside
It's hilarious how many guys and girls swear they're doing a fantastic job of hiding their gayness... and everybody in the world knows. Sometimes they are the only ones who don't know. So yeah... Barbie would be a pretty big indicator that something might be going on. And yet, it apparently never occurs to us that we do these things that "out" us. that I remember reading an interview with David Archuleta's dad back when he was 17 and on Idol. His dad talked about how David learned all the songs to Les Miz when he was like 8, and that his favorite date is not to go out with a girl, but to go out in a group of 3 or 4 people. There was also something about collecting shoes. My friend and I looked at each other and said "David's dad just outed him on national TV, and is clueless." 13 years later... he came out. There are many others like him.
It's so great that you've had such a positive experience; both in not being expected to stick to "boy" toys, and that your family has been so understanding. While any kid can play with any (age-appropriate) toy and it doesn't always indicate anything, I think there's enough scientific research to back the concept that certain toys do appeal to certain folks. Take me, for instance: I enjoyed both my "girl" and "boy" toys for what they were growing up; having a stronger love for the latter early on, then levelling out as I got older. My interests have always had a strong duality to them (which at this point has become a running joke about how I can "go either way" on any number of decisions). Personal anecdote aside though, the types of toys boys and girls are drawn to (or even activities) are often linked to hormones: individuals of either sex with higher levels of testosterone (at least according to certain studies, such as Simon LeVay's) tend towards more active/aggressive play when compared to their lower-testosterone counterparts. I digress.... (Sorry, I find this kind of stuff fascinating) It's remarkable how often people struggle with coming out--especially to themselves--and then when they finally do, it's to learn that "everyone already knew". Exasperating as it can be, having someone tell you that after all the build up, I'm sure it comes as a comfort, too. Especially since your family supports your interests; that really is a beautiful thing, and something, I think, that is exceedingly rare.
For some some of gay men liking things straight girls and women enjoy is as natural as our attention to guys. I mostly played with the girls in my neighborhood as a kid. They tended do things that just seemed more fun to me. And now as an adult I find relate to straight women much more than heterosexual men and still enjoy things that are marketed to women.
