Bam!!

Only once in my adult life. I married him. We've been together over twenty years at this point.

 

Yes, I have had this happen once before. I thought falling for someone right away wasn't a real thing. It was a very rude awakening to learn that the feelings aren't voluntary and they can hit really hard. When it doesn't work out it's devastating. My hope is that someday I find someone I feel that chemistry with who actually likes me back. As of yet, I haven't met anyone else that pulls me in so completely.

 

There is nothing wrong with working hard and cultivating a relationship to make love grow. That spark though? It makes a really big difference.

 

Last time I felt this way about someone, I made lots of hints that I was interested before finally telling him outright that I liked him, and he shrugged me off and ignored me. What a cunt.

Not had any major crushes on anyone else since.

 

When I came out to my wife, I intended to stay with her and play the husband for another 5 years, till our youngest was out of high school. But 4 months later a guy joined EC, and even from the first couple posts, I felt that there was something very special about him. Definite instant crush. He went for the full membership as quickly as possible; we met in person the day after he came out to his wife and bonded so instantly that all my plans changed, because we knew this was something we'd be crazy to ignore. Getting close to 5 years since those first posts, and we're still together and still love each other like crazy. I'm very glad I didn't ignore that crush!

 

Truth be told @Beebee80 I'm not normally an impulsive guy. More often than not, the burger is cold by the time I decide on ketchup or mustard. But there was something very different when we met, almost like destiny, which is a word I hate and rarely ever use! It was one of few, if any, situations in life where I felt that I'd feel genuine regret if I didn't go with it and see what happened. I'm still kind of amazed actually.

 

This happened to me twice in the last year. The first one was what helped me realize and remember that I am attracted to women. I was checking out at Whole Foods and I looked up at my cashier to say hi and the instant we made eye contact she smiled at me it sent butterflies and I was thrown off completely. After that I kept looking for her when I would shop there and when I saw her, instant butterflies and crazy nerves and trying to check out in her line... I only saw her a few times and then never again. The 2nd one was a few moths ago when I went to the Dominican for vacation and she was at the same resort.... major crush and same as the other one I would look around to see if she was nearby and couldn’t stop checking her out. We were both at the club one night and I wanted to dance with her but... I was there with my husband.

 

@Beebee80 i wasn’t nervous at the pool because it was crowded and she was always further away and I had sunglasses but at the club I was nervous because I felt myself slowly moving closer to her on the dance floor... she was dancing with 2 or 3 girlfriends and I was with a group of friends including my husband so in my mind it felt natural to end up near her but I also felt like it was so obvious. It was so intense I remember waking up one morning from having a sex dream about her. She was hot and just had this confident energy about her... and I got the vibe that she might be gay but it might have been wishful thinking.

 

@Beebee80 You mentioned saying hi to her but donyou ever talk to her or just in a situation where you happen to walk by her.

 

It wasn't even a rejection. I can handle rejection. He just ignored me. I hear people talking about being "friendzoned" by people they've had crushes on, and I would have gladly been just friends with him, but he wouldn't even accept or acknowledge my friendship. Twat.

 

Yes. In real life and fantasy. I've crushed on a bunch of people. I saw a girl recently at my school and I thought she was so cute. I tried to hit on her thinking she was gay, but sadly was met with confusion. Oh well. She was so cute. I also had a huge crush on the RA at the school I'm transferring too. She had this fantastic energy and cute hair. So I relate.

 

I do not think there is any harm in talking with her and potentially being friends. I’m not sure of the setting you are seeing her in and how natural it is to approach her or if you have to go out of your way to talk with her but if the opportunity is there to chat then I think it’s ok. I do not think talking to someone you are attracted to is going against your marriage.