So for a few years I’ve had this phobia that keeps getting worse. It started in sixth grade as something not too bad but now it’s horrible. I have a fear of sickness. I guess I’ll just explain some of my symptoms. If someone says they are sick, I instantly take a few steps back. I feel rude for doing that but it’s better than doing what I want to, running far far away. If someone has been sick recently or has had symptoms of sickness in the last few days, I won’t touch them. If I do, I wash my hands. I can’t stop thinking about how they touched me or I touched them and how I might be contaminated now and I might get sick. The worst of it happened when 25% of the 8th grade was sick, back in February. I couldn’t sit without wiping down the desks and chairs. I couldn’t be within 3 feet of someone. During band me and a few others baracaded ourselves to get away from everyone else. 70% of the band was sick. I constantly was using hand sanitizer and would only talk to a few people because they had 0 symptoms what so ever and hadn’t been touching the sick people. I constantly washed my hands. On the second day of what is basically my version of a living hell, someone who was sick touched me. I literally broke down and had a panic attack. To have a panic attack, I went to the one corner of the band room no one ever goes to to be sure it wasn’t contaminated. When my mom was sick, I washed my hands 10 times in 2 hours. But when no one in my house is sick or if there’s not a huge outbreak I’m generally ok. It’s just like a regular phobia. Oh and also there’s very random times where all the things I do when someone is sick will pop up as something I need to do in order not to become sick. Basically it’s my brain telling me “don’t touch that. Someone that is sick could’ve touched it which could make you sick.” So my question. Is this just a bad phobia or is it something worse, like OCD? Also, how can I keep this from spiraling out of control? It just keeps getting worse and worse. P.S. It used to just be stomach viruses but now it’s coughs and things like that, but that was after I got sick and my throat swelled up so much I choked. Oh and another thing I do. If I’m not hungry it makes me really nervous because that’s usually the first sign of a stomach virus.
It wouldn't be appropriate for anyone to offer a diagnosis in an online forum. However, what you are describing sounds pretty intrusive, and it's clearly affecting your day-to-day, which are two crucial criteria necessary to diagnose a mental health disorder. Have you talked to parents or your school counselor about this? I'd strongly recommend getting assessed by a psychologist or therapist to identify a proper diagnosis and develop a treatment plan for you.
I think it would probably be a good idea to see a professional in that field when it comes to diagnoses like that. It does sounds like something could be the cause of this, and since it seems to be disrupting your life it would probably be best.
Hey there. This sounds alot like OCD to me because...well it's exactly how I feel, except instead of worrying about people who are sick, I worry about people who disgust me. Washing hands constantly, check, avoiding sitting in seats I knew "contaminated" people sat in, check, avoiding touching ANYTHING that I considered contaminated, CHECK! My entire school became contaminated to me because of one person, and tada, I'm not going to school anymore. There is no cure to OCD, it will always be there, but it can get much much better and you can keep it under control. You'll have a lot of setbacks, and unfortunately, it usually gets worse before it gets better. But it does get better, and that's the what you need to keep in mind. Try setting milestones. Small baby steps are key. I think one of my first mile stones was touching a pencil that came directly from school. DO NOT rush yourself, or let ANYONE rush you, that is the worst possible thing you can do. Fixing OCD takes time and patience, small steps, and only doing things you feel comfortable with. I removed myself from the problem, (school) and homeschooled. But my entire town was contaminated to me as well. After a couple of breakdowns, I started making little milestones, touching small things I didn't want to, telling myself it's not real and there's nothing there. I know this sounds stupid, but when I felt comfortable with it, I ran up to the school and touched the door, with no problems afterwards. It took me a year, but hey, I'm going back to school, walking around town, ect. I am not a professional, so I'm not qualified to give you advice, but I have the same type of OCD as you (contamination OCD), or what it sounds like you have, and I'm talking from my personal experience of how I dealt with it. I would highly recommend telling someone and investing in a therapist. They can help you set goals. If you can't, try writing everything down. Either way, set milestones and even if someone tells you that you sound crazy, ignore them. I know how agonizing it can be to be afraid of something that deep down you probably know isn't real. Good luck, it will get better, patience is key.
