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Bad Bisexual - What is Attraction?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by animefan2861, Jul 16, 2020.

  1. animefan2861

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    Am I even attracted to other women anymore? I've identified as bisexual for about 5 years now and it's felt comfortable. But lately I've been really on the fence about my attraction to women. I've only ever dated men. I've only ever been intimate with men. I've never done anything more than kiss another woman. I don't look at women and think that I want to be with them. I look at them as a woman complimenting another woman on her looks. I have zero clue if I'm even sexually attracted to them anymore.

    I tried something yesterday that confirmed to me that I prefer intimacy with only one other person, but one of my best female friends was there and I only felt awkward the whole time. I didn't enjoy it. It's extremely rare that I want to be intimate with another woman, and I'm honestly terrified of the thought.

    I don't want to suddenly say that I'm not bisexual anymore because I'm not straight, and my coworkers could tell when they met me that I'm not straight, but I don't know what to do anymore. This isn't the first time I've questioned if I'm actually bisexual, but no label feels right. Not even queer. I wish I was straight again. It would be so much easier.

    Anyone have any advice? I'm so confused and it's kind of tearing me apart on the inside.
     
  2. xenu

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    Bisexuality doesn't mean being attracted to both genders the same amount all the time. Lately I have found myself drifting back towards women a bit.
     
  3. Franz007

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    We don‘t even know your gender, so that i cannot understand the issue. Are you a female or a male?
     
  4. rktonks

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    what @Franz007 means, im sure, is what is you birth gender? also, I agree with @xenu . I am bi but I like girls way much more then I like guys. Actually, I am mainly only sexually attracted in guys, and I want romantic relationships with girls. So,, it really depends.
     
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  5. Franz007

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    Yes exactly :slight_smile:
     
  6. xenu

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    Male here(In case you don't remember). I personally think women are nicer to look at and I can be drawn to them, and this happens more frequently than with guys. Having said that, I have strong same sex attractions at least once in awhile. I can honestly say I am little more picky about which guys I am attracted to, but once they meet my criteria its on. :slight_smile:

    The thing is, the people around me can have a huge impact on how gay or straight I feel at any given time.
     
    #6 xenu, Jul 23, 2020
    Last edited: Jul 23, 2020
  7. BiGemini87

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    You don't have to have had physical experiences with the same sex to be bisexual, this much is true--but the fact that you're not really interested in women beyond a surface level indicates (to me, at least) that you might have a stronger preference for men.

    Has this always been the case, or have you had points where you felt as strongly (if not more so) towards women as men? If you have, then you might just be going through a sort of "ebb and flow". Your orientation is what it is, but who you're surrounded by can have an impact on your levels of attraction between the two.

    Also, the experience you had might have been tainted by your discomfort over someone else being present at the time.
     
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  8. Shorthaul

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    I agree with BiGemini87 and think that your first time was not ideal for you to really say one way or the other. Being Bi also doesn't have to be an even 50/50 split all the time. If you say you saw 10 people you thought were attractive and 2 of the 10 are female, that is still bisexual.
     
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  9. rktonks

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    There is this thing called the Kenzie Scale and it is the fluidity between gay and straight. I am a 4 or maybe 5. (6 is fully gay, or only liking the same sex). So if you are not a 6 or a 1 or 0 (I can’t remember which one means you are straight, I honestly don’t think there are 0s), then you are a bisexual, no matter whether you prefer boys or girls.
     
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  10. Lizzy93

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    Not sure if I’m much help cause I’m confused myself, but I’ve only felt attraction to two women in my life yet I think I’m bi. When I say I’m straight I know that’s not 100% true. I’m attracted to men more often but I’m currently seeing a woman right now. I don’t think attraction has to be 50% women and 50% men in order to be bi.