Back after 10 years hiatus

Meowth?

 

Well, of course. I'm trying to say that I'm attempting to expand my social circle to include people who I can connect with on some personal level, since I sure as hell can't get that level of connection with my workspace or family. It's not my life goal, but it is a goal that I hope will make me a better person.

 

"...try and be part of the LGBT community that allegedly exists outside the internet"

This made me smile. It can certainly feel that way, eh? i fly to Palm Springs a couple of times a year and stay at a 'gay' resort for some gay community feel. 40% of the population is PS is gay, and you can walk down the street holding hands with a guy and not feel out of place, or that you even stand out. i've even been 'hit on' just walking down the street there.

Prior to cell phones and the internet, but still post Stone age, Gay people actually met face to face, bars were a common social gathering place, but i don't drink. One of my first encounters with gay people as a community was a part in Ocean View Virginia, set on the Chesapeake Bay. I'd pass it every day on my way to work, and began to notice a lot of guys gathering there on a regular basis, the place gave off a vibe, so i pulled into the parking lot and discovered there was almost always 10-20 gay guys either individually cruising, but often gathered in a group and socializing. i'd go every Sunday and, afternoon, we'd head to another park where there was a volley ball court and we'd spend hours playing volley ball together.
I've been back to visit family in Virginia in recent years. The park is still there, but good luck finding a gay guy, let alone a whole gaggle. Now? There are internet sites that advertise groups where you can get together with people of similar interest: "Meetup" comes to mind. But society seems to have made a decided shift and the cell phone seems to have prosthetically replaced our five senses, or at least become a major supplement.

 

That sounds really nice, I've heard Chesapeake Bay is amazing. I never knew there was a strong community there. For the majority of my life, I've sort of rejected socializing with most people, at least with anybody outside of my immediate inner circle. But now that I'm in my thirties and I have no circle, I'm finding that meeting people requires a set of skills that I'm trying to learn, but which still seem so alien to me. I've convinced myself that I'm stuck in a depressing, meaningless position in life and that nothing will change, but I'm learning that It's my choices that led to that, and my choices that can change that. It doesn't help, though, that most communities that I feel I can communicate with are never close at hand.

Telecommunications feels like such a misnomer. By nature, it promises to connect people together, but at face value it just offers unrealistic expectations that causes people to feel more and more isolated, emotionally and geographically.

I've thought about using Meetup.com to actually meet people, but I keep hearing negative things now and again. I can't trust apps, no matter how well-reviewed they are. I was six years old when the Matthew Shepard incident happened (and two when John Wayne Gacy was executed), but I still remember how often the word "lured" was used in documentaries and speeches, and I know it happens every day. The fact we've changed the word to "catfishing" doesn't lessen my paranoia that something malign might happen. So I have to hope that physically attending events and going to frequented, public places might work out, even though it feels like the very notion of that is being denounced by society.

 

i'm getting up late (for me) this morning (8), and wanting to make breakfast, but want to respond first, despite my growling stomach.

The Chesapeake Bay social gathering was nice and more, it was a bunch of gays who like guys getting together in a place where they were open about that part of their self. It was so open that the local police force also assigned good looking vice cops to entrap guys, arrest and charge them with a hundred year old felony law. Still, it "was a strong community" and we would point out the vice cops to each other.

i agree with you about "telecommunications [feeling] like such a misnomer." To me, it's like we have turned a vehicle into a destination instead of a means to get to where we want to go. Things like 'swiping' or 'ghosting' potential mates did not exist prior to said technology, so i think humanity is still figuring out technologies proper function, and we happen to live in the discovery and development phase where lots of people still die from crashing. At least, i hope at some point that we realize there is more to communication and human connection than tele can supply.

As i see it, you have above average "skills" for socializing, or connecting with people. You write more than three word, simple sentences. You are self aware and you are articulate. In my experience, that puts you ahead of 90% of the heard. Which may be part of the problem, because maybe only 10% of 10% of the population has potential? I'm actually encouraged by guys like you, and others i have encountered on EC, because i can see there really are guys out there who i'd like as potential friends at the very least. It's good to know such people truly exist beyond a Netflix movie.

 

That's very nice of you to say. I noticed that the current trend is to be socially distant and grammatically ineloquent, and that somehow these are characteristics that are to be admired in one's self and others. Everyone who doesn't speak in emojis or have several thousand followers are fuddy-duddies that are out of touch, and should be consigned to the corner while the concept of communication is allowed to fall apart. It's sad and unfortunate, but I know that there are handfuls of people who don't follow the digital stream, as it were, and who trust to reason. They're just so rare.

I've read about various police departments entrapping gays, lesbians, and transvestites over the decades, and it's as disgusting as it was terrifying. That was another thing that kept me in the closet for so long, the idea that law enforcement and the LGBTQ community were not only mutually exclusive but diametrically opposed.

 

Welcome back! It took me a year to finally sign up here and I'm glad I did. Sounds like you are back at the right place.

 

Welcome back!!

 

Welcome back, AdamT I think that's so cool that you are 'bringing back' ten years of experience to share with us


Mark