attraction types

I think it’s probably something that you are over thinking, which is perfectly normal. Emotional attraction is kind of in simple terms having a real interest in someone, their thoughts, opinions, their feelings. Wanting to know more about them. I think sometimes it can be there straight away when you meet someone and other times it can develop over time.

 

This is an interesting topic. The way I see it, I have experienced three types of attraction, and of course there is overlap between them sometimes. Physical attraction to me has to do with appearance, do you think they are really good-looking. Emotional attraction is when you like a person - you admire their courage, their morals, they are kind to you, maybe you feel sorry for some circumstance they have but over all you respect them. I think that is what love is based on. As far as a "flutter in your belly" I think that comes from the excitement of realizing that you would like to have sex with them and thinking they probably want you too. People talk about soul mates but I think that just means someone who is really suited to you, and all of the above, similar to you. I think each person can have more than one soul mate in a lifetime - I think. My husband is my soulmate, but I would hate to think he is the ONLY one I could love. Even people who believe they are married to their soulmate, usually remarry if the marriage ends. If there was only one soulmate, how could they fall in love that way again?

 

I believe LlouW hit the nail the head with that one.

 

i think this is a great question, and i do not think there is one simple answer, so i appreciate all the answers.

To me, there are two distinct sides to attraction, the mysterious side we cannot always put our finger on or fully grasp, i think that's often the side that gives us "flutters." Communication is part verbal, part visual, part hearing. Sometimes we hear a voice on the phone and are attracted, or we see someone walk by and our head turns, of someone writes us something, and we feel a tingle. Then sometimes it's all three at the same time, but we don't always know why we feel the way we do, we just know it feels good and we want more...we are attracted.

Then i think there is the practical side to attraction that is built compatibility. i think this side doesn't get a lot of attention, they don't teach relationship in school. i think finding compatibility starts with self knowledge. For instance, in the gay community we see identifiers like "top, bottom, versatile, dom, sub- to name a few. i think these are self identifiers that are used to help convey some of our individual need/desire. i don't think it's as simple as a physical role during sex, though it can mean that in part, but i'm of the opinion that sex is never "just physical." i think nature teaches us that opposites attract, and if the chemistry is right, can even bond. E.g., if we put two north poles of a magnet together, they push each other away, put a north and south pole together and they attract and stick together, they bond. Of course, people are more complicated than magnets. But in over simplified terms, a top is attracted to a bottom and vice versa, there is some compatibility that can result in symbiosis in relationship. I.e. ,each is naturally attracted without having to try to be something they are not.

i think we are made up of many pieces, i frequently use the analogy that we are all a box of puzzle pieces that form a picture of us when put together. Relationship is about finding others whose pieces fit with our pieces to form that picture. i don't believe any two people will fit together 100%, so i think it's important for us to identify those pieces in our box that are most important to us, the look for pieces in others that fit those pieces. To do that requires self knowledge and the ability to communicate, and i think the better we are at both those things, the better the chances of finding and having a sustainable relationship.