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Attraction/infatuation driving me crazy!!

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Goya, Sep 25, 2019.

  1. Goya

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    So I have a huge attraction to someone and it’s driving me insane!!

    She is an amazing person, beautiful and because of my attraction I’m reading into every lovely thing she does. I’m pretty sure she makes a beeline for me as a friend because we are on the same wavelength, have a laugh, interesting talk etc but the rational part of my brain brushes off my getting excited about that and knows that’s all it is.

    I’ve not been afraid to be feeling this much for someone for a lonnnnnnnng time and this is my first attraction since coming out and accepting myself (it’s actually been over a year that I’ve been attracted to her but it’s gone crazy since my acceptance and since I’ve not been pushing it away)

    Our situations are complicated and I’m still in a relationship that looks like it may be coming to an end after years.

    I don’t want to be head over heels for someone where it’s likely nothing. Anyone got a pill or something I can take? Lol!
     
  2. faultyink

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    haha I've had the same thing, although most of my crushes end up getting a bit obsessive overall. It's rough because on one hand it's not the worst feeling? But also that level of infatuation directed at a single person isn't great obviously!! But I can relate.
     
  3. Lin1

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    I definitely can relate and I am in a similarly tricky situation, no pill to save us from it though, I am afraid.
     
  4. Goya

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    See I’m not usually like this and I wonder if it’s just come about at a pivotal time which has intensified it. Made it seem exciting and right. I am trying to remember what it is I need and remember not to put one person on a pedestal (no one is that perfect or can sustain being up there).
     
  5. Goya

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    It’s exciting but rather s**t huh!
     
  6. Lin1

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    Hahaha yes, I would happily swallow that pill! But I literally don’t know what’s up with me because I know very much that it’s a bad idea and that objectively we wouldn’t really work, the problem is that we have the type of friendship where we do make out/get a little physical when out and about and it actually sucks because deep-down it means nothing but it makes things 100% more complicated and I wish I could back track and keep it 100% superficial. Sigh.

    I have no solution for you I am afraid. What makes you think that she couldn’t be into you more? Do you have any inclination regarding her sexuality?
     
  7. Goya

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    That sounds tough and maybe mixed signals? Something tells me you don’t want to lose that side of your friendship completely as your getting something, but I wonder what that’s doing to you. Does she know how you feel at all?

    I do have an idea around her sexuality and I can’t really work out her behaviour. Hmm what makes me think she couldn’t be into me more. I’m not sure. Usual into someone brushing off lol. “It’s all in my head” kinda thoughts. It’s easy to over analyse this stuff when you want it to look a certain way. But then you could miss out with this attitude too. I give up. *waves white flag*
     
  8. Lin1

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    Hahah, I think you should go for it (after you end your current relationship) I mean if you are in a relationship she is unlikely to make a move. I know I would not assume someone is into me if they are in a relationship and even if I did I would obviously not make a move out of respect for the relationship. So maybe once you sort things out with your boyfriend you will see an increase in signs?



    About me and my situation:

    It’s not really mixed signals, because I was the one who kissed her at first for fun, I didn’t think at all I would get attached or care but parts of me care in ways I didn’t expect yet my brain is very pragmatic and knows exactly what’s up. I never thought we would kiss again, or anything and actually the next time we went out after the initial kiss, I tried to keep boundaries but then she went for me and now it’s just the norm I guess, which is a little scary. She doesn’t know about how I feel because I am not even sure what I feel? I also don’t want anything to happen because she is moving soon but making out with her every weekend doesn’t really help (and it’s this weird dilemma where I partly want to stop so I don’t fall deeper but also don’t because I enjoy it, haha. Argh. )
     
    #8 Lin1, Sep 26, 2019
    Last edited: Sep 26, 2019
  9. Goya

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    Your absolutely right and as much as I’m tempted, neither would I. I haven’t felt as disarmed as I do right now in a relationship (never cheated) we’ll see I guess. And anyway I have some living to do if it ends. Jumping into something after years would be a d**k move!

    Your situation sounds tricky and I totally get the feeling of trying to be boundaried but not wanting it to stop. Serious catch 22! Almost like your head knows what you should do but everything else is like Screw that! This is good!!!
     
  10. Lin1

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    Haha exactly!

    And I totally understand your perspective.

    Well I hope it works out (no matter what it translates into), keep us updated! :slight_smile: