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Attracted to masculinity

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Alienheart, Jun 14, 2016.

  1. Alienheart

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    Is it possible to be attracted to just masculinity? I'm a cis female and have always identified as straight. But after reading a post from someone online, I'm really struggling. Ive only dated/been with cis men. So it's hard to really make sense of everything. But I have been attracted to trans men/masculine females many times. I've had crushes on masculine females like I have to cis men. But I always thought that this was just because I am straight. That if I'm attracted to men, I'd find anyone that presents as male attractive(for lack of a better word)
    If I had to put it into words, I don't feel like I can consider myself bisexual because most females, I feel nothing. the term makes me feel like I'm lying about myself. I genuinely feel like as long as they're masculine, it doesn't matter what their gender is or what's in their pants. I feel like I still cannot be described as pansexual either.
    Does anyone else feel the same way? Or similarly but with femininity? Is there a term for this?
     
  2. Brytaleith

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    Androsexual if you're sexually attracted to masculinity (because prefix "andro-" connotes masculinity) and gynesexual if you're sexually attracted to femininity (prefix "gyne-" likely connotes femininity).
     
  3. Creativemind

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    I know a heterosexual female that's only attracted to femininity. She only likes interacting with penises, but prefers a guy with a passive attitude, with shaved legs, with long hair...sometimes even wearing women's clothing. She says It's because she's into femdom and emasculating guys sexually, but she's certainly not attracted to women, regardless of how feminine. She's not attracted to "manly" men either. Finds both masculinity and female sex characteristics a turn-off, but is still straight.

    Likewise, you will find lesbians who are only attracted to masculine girls. I'm one of them. Give me a hairy chick with short hair and a deep voice any day. Not attracted to men either despite this preference.

    So certainly you can be bisexual, because sexual orientation is about genders/sexes not gender expressions/stereotypes. Femininity and masculinity are social constructs anyway. Personally, as a somewhat butcher girl, I would find it a bit offensive to have a girl be attracted to me and still say she's straight because I'm masculine. I'm not a man, I'm a real woman looking to attract lesbians and bi women who accept me as I am....a woman. A woman who behaves differently than the norm, but truly still a real woman who is no different than a feminine girl is.
     
    #3 Creativemind, Jun 14, 2016
    Last edited: Jun 14, 2016
  4. Alienheart

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    I think you're misinterpreting me, though. I completely agree that masculinity and femininity are social constucts. But as you said you're more attracted to butcher women, it's what's attractive to you. Obviously I see them as whatever gender they identify with. I don't see masculine women as men. I'm saying that's what I feel I've heard my entire life. That was always something I hear and was told. That I was attracted to them because they were masculine, masculine is male, therefore that made me attracted to males.
    But I'm not attracted to all males. I've never been attracted to feminine males. Just as I'm not attracted to feminine females. Do you get what I mean by this?
     
  5. thrashgal

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    maybe ur just bi but u have a preference..just becuz sumone identifies as sumthing doesnt mean that they have to be attracted to all that falls under the same catagory of that sumthing..like for instance me, im lesbian but i am not at all attracted to butch women even tho they are still women...
     
  6. DRex

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    I'm kind of similar in that I'm mostly attracted to women and to androgynous men. And yet I also think masculine women are particularly attractive. I consider myself bisexual overall though.
     
  7. darkcomesoon

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    Masculinity =/= male (which I know you know). Trans men are men, so attraction to trans men is entirely heterosexual, but if you're attracted to masculine women, it sounds like you might be bi. You don't have to like all women in order to be bi. You like men and you like women, which qualifies you as bi if you want to use the label.

    Preferences (even if they are more like requirements than preferences) for masculinity and femininity aren't really how sexual orientations are defined, so I'm not sure you'll find a word for it. As MidnightRune mentioned, androsexual can mean attraction to masculinity, but it is also used to mean attraction to men, and that's the definition I've seen more commonly.
     
  8. Creativemind

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    No I get what you're saying.

    I'm saying that sexual orientation is about being attracted to men and women, not masculinity or femininity. I'm attracted to masculine/androgynous women and not overally feminine women. I'm a lesbian. My friend is attracted to feminine men but not masculine men. She's heterosexual. You're attracted to masculine men and masculine women. While you can call yourself whatever you want, the technical definition of this would be bisexual. Because you're attracted to men and women even if they're both masculine. The masculinity is more of a preference not related to sexual orientation at all.
     
    #8 Creativemind, Jun 15, 2016
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2016
  9. Invidia

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    That's mostly what I'm into as well. Totally cool. :slight_smile:
     
  10. cakepiecookie

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    I think you have a touch of bi/pansexuality (you're attracted to female-identified people), but that doesn't mean you have to identify that way if you don't feel like it's a good fit or a useful way to describe yourself.

    Some people are at the far end of the Kinsey spectrum without being a 0 or 6, but still "round themselves up" to gay or straight. I'm like that myself - I know I'm technically bi/pan, and I don't completely rule out the possibility of an opposite-sex relationship. However, calling myself bi/pan has always felt awkward for me. I'm into women the vast majority of the time, so calling myself bi/pan only gives people the wrong idea. More than that, it just feels... not right. So I use gay or heteroflexible instead.

    FTR, I agree that androsexual is the term you're looking for. However, you can be androsexual and heteroflexible/bi/pan at the same time - they're not mutually-exclusive terms.