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At last now I know that my father knows....

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by laiminga, Jun 22, 2020.

  1. laiminga

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2015
    Messages:
    15
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    Location:
    Lithuania
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    So...
    5 years ago I come out to my mother and it was.... quite a hell. Now it is fine.
    3 years ago I was trying to come out to my dad.
    The first time he took me from bar to my mothers' falt (I was quite drunk) and I just told him "Dad, I am lesbian". He said nothing.
    Next time he took me home from the cinema, where just before he took me I kissed the girl I liked at the time. I told him again. He said nothing. The last time was in our summer house. It was a few weeks after some of my party (probably my 20th bday) and I was speaking about my party with our neighbor, and also I am born in June so it is pride month... Somehow we started to speak about LGBT and my dad started to say lots of homophobic stuff and I mentioned that most of my friends are from the LGBT community. Later in the evening, I took him outside and asked him if he remembered what I said and he just said "yes" and walked back inside.
    Until a few days ago I didn't know if he really knows. He always just ignored it. And he always was saying lots of homophobic stuff. So.. a few days ago it was my bday again... quarantine has ended in my country so my best friend and I decided to make huge party (it was my 23 and hers 32 bday) in my summer house. It was about 25 people and just 1/3 of them were straight. My father knew a few of my friends and was always very positive about them.
    I was thinking that we will celebrate without my father, but... I sad that he can join if he wants, so of course he joined. He does not speak English, and because there were some of my foreign friends we used mostly the English language and I was not afraid of him hearing something about me what would make him upset. But after some bottles of vodka, he just found some of my friends he knew and spoke with them. One thing He did not know is that those two friends of me, both guys, are dating. And they kissed just in front of him. I saw how my father looked to the other side, but said nothing. I took him far away from everyone to speak. First I asked if he is ok, to be with my friends, and he said that he is ok, they arrived to visit me and not him, then I asked and what about me. He said that I should just ignore all his homophobic bull****, he is not going to change, he is going to say whatever he wants, but... he does not ask me to change, however, I am his daughter. Also, my father was racist as long as I can remember, but he was really respectful around my friends of other races. We were drinking for two days, so basically I never had guts to come out to him sober, but at last know, I know that he really knows and that I do not need to hide something. For 3 years I was not sure. It was eating me alive... We are really close and I am just so happy.
    I think that was my best bday gift.
    Now I am out to both of my parents and I know that they are kinda ok with that so that's good.
     
  2. bingostring

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2008
    Messages:
    2,008
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    Location:
    England
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Congratulations on coming out to both your parents. Some people leave it much longer... or never!
    Things can only get better and their attitudes are going to improve with time. Good luck!!