I’m 26. I have been with my fiancé for 5 years now and have two amazing Children. I want to come out but it tears me up of thinking that I will change their lives forever. I grew up with divorced parents and I really don’t want that for my kids. But I’m also living a lie. What do I do
Are you absolutely sure that you want gay/lesbian? Talking would be the most helpful approach. Some members on here are married and came out to their spouses and have someone that they hang out with once a month. I am not in that boat.
If your saying stay together and have a hall pass once a month I don’t think that’s for me. To each their own but I need to be open and honest and tbh I have not been living up to my own standards these past three years.
I agree the hall pass is weird. It sounds like you are having doubts by saying you are not living up to your standards. I would take a moment think of what you truly want. My parents were also divorced growing so I know what you mean about it being crazy. In my opinion, it would be best to stay together, for your kids sake, but that is my two cents.
Hello mywallsblu. First of all, welcome to Empty Closets. Please remember that this is a safe space where no one will judge you. We, the members of EC, are all here to listen to you, lend a friendly shoulder and ear, and hopefully give you good advice. I'm glad you took a step to post what you're going through, here for us to read. *hug* That said, my personal opinion, is that, it is admirable for you to think about your children. Every parent sacrifices a lot for their children and loves them a lot. It is clear you do too. . However, I'd argue that you need to be happy first. If you aren't happy with your life and your situation, how will you have the drive, energy, strength and enthusiasm to go forward, live your life positively and spread the same positivity to your family and children? I would urge you to consider what makes you happy first. Sit down, think about it calmly and I'm sure things can be worked out on way or another. I'm not suggesting a divorce or that you stay with your partner. I'm suggesting you think what will make you the happiest, and then plan hypothetical scenarios based on what will happen. That could give you an idea perhaps? I'm sure other members (who might have more relevant advice than me) will weigh in here as well. Hang in there. Try to stay positive (as much as you can!) .
