So, I'm bi guy. There is a friend who I have is straight , we haven't known each other long, but we are good friends, we met through college. I find him really attractive, he is egyptian muslim (but very metropolitan and liberal) and we have talked about girls before together but he doesn't know I'm bi. I know he is straight and wouldn't want to come onto him or ask him if he wants fun with me ...as amazing as that would be, I know I have to leave it all to the imagination! But I've had this idea which I think might be a little realistic. And that's basically to ask him about a threesome, if he would want to join me in an mfm (me and him with a girl). Not me and him doing anything together, but just me and him concentrating on the girl. First of all, what are the ways I could bring this up, approach the subject and ask him this? I can't just bring it up out of nowhere, but I really don't know how to. Secondly, is it typical to assume that a guy who is specifically seeking an mfm as opposed to an ffm must be bi or at least bi-curious? So will my friend assume I'm not straight by asking him this? And what sort of reaction could he have? It's gonna be interesting to see your responses
Hmmm. This seems like a really roundabout way to try to find out if he is bisexual. And, it sounds like what you really want to know is if he finds you attractive also. I'm not sure a three-some would give you what you want. I had a similar experience when I was just out of college. I had a friend I really was attracted to and we spent a lot of time together. One night when we were hanging our around a campfire we got to talking about gay guys (how they could get it anytime they wanted) So, I said "I'd try it with the right guy". He said "not me". End of story. Forty years later we are still friends and he never mentioned it. I'm still not out to him (officially) as bisexual. Maybe there is a similar way for you to delicately let him know that you have same sex attractions without coming out like I did? You could ask about a three some I suppose as a way to start a conversation. Do you think this guy is someone you could trust to be completely honest with and let him know you find guys attractive sometimes?
Oh no not at all. I am not bothered so much about having fun with him, i can leave that to my imagination as I said haha. As a bi guy, mfm threesomes are really something I love and I'm really into them (but never actually done one) ...and because I know he is straight i was just thinking this would be my chance to at least have some "bro contact" with him (incidental leg to leg touching, even balls to balls and penis to penis contact but done within the realms of heteronormativity), without him thinking i'm gay. Wonder how I could bring the question up?
So, not out though? It seems like you have the hots for this guy. Would casual "accidental" touching while in a threesome be what you are really desiring? I mean its not like you haven't had any contact with guys and need to experiment.
Yeah, it is definitely what I would be desiring. I don't need to have full on sex with a guy or even do anything explicit with him in this scenario, just the thought of being able to be naked in each other's presence and be able to see him naked and have the physical contact that comes with an mfm is enough for me and very satisfying. It would be about the girl too not just him but obviously in my head secretly it would be him turning me on the most. I would love to be doing double penetration in this scenario too because i would be able to feel him through the girl (the butt and the vagina are separated by only a very thin wall). That would be a way of being somewhat intimate with him in a kind of "gay way" but without even being considered gay if that makes sense.
Hmmm. Do you think this scenario is even really a possibility? It seems like there are so many "what if's" here. This may be one of those situations where the fantasy is going to drive you nuts and may start to affect your friendship with him. You are building a lot of expectations in your mind here. My thought is that you either need to level with this guy or stop building a fantasy around him that may jeopardize your friendship.
I am sorry but I will talk from my female point of view here and say that it seems like a terrible idea. A) it seems like you would be using the girl to get to the guy, which is really NOT okay. B) it seems like you would trick the guy into having some "incidental physical contact" or be hoping for it knowing he wouldn't be okay with it, if it wasn't "incidental" which is also NOT okay. This has terrible idea written all over it. You want your straight friend to engage in a sexual act with you (as low-key as it might be in your eyes) knowing it wouldn't happen without a girl there so want to get a girl involved to hopefully make it happen. This is not okay. You are planning on lying to two people about who you are and what you actually want, hoping they will engage in sex with you so you can get a little bit of the guy through the girl. It really isn't okay. It's okay to fancy your friend but it is not okay to make up a scenario where he will take off his clothes and be sexual with someone next to you (potentially having incidental physical contact with you as a result) knowing he wouldn't do it if he knew you were actually bisexual and not straight and fancied him.
