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Asking someone their sexual orientation

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Tightrope, May 10, 2021.

  1. Tightrope

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    Do you think this is okay? It can be.

    If you choose a new doctor, you may see it on the form. They ask about smoking and tobacco use. I don't know if people will fill out their sexual orientation, though, if they're not at risk for STIs and know a lot about how they transmit.

    How about on a form for a club or something else where it has nothing to do with anything? No.

    If a person barely knows you? I wouldn't do it. If a person knows you well? Both people would have to be comfortable with each other and know how to handle it.

    What do you think?
     
  2. Mirko

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    In certain situations yes, such as when filling out a form at the doctor's as you mentioned. Even then though, one might not be asked depending on the form and purpose.

    Other than that, I don't think it would be appropiate unless it is needed for a specific service or support.
     
  3. Lemony

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    Agree
     
  4. sojabohnenfeld

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    This is interesting!

    I tell people I am gay when I know that they will listen. Because a lot of people just think it is fun and games but for me it was a very stressful part of my life so when I tell people I want them to treat me decently.

    I have seen straight people try to talk about orientation and fail because they think we are fragile people... that is also bad. Honestly I don't know what I would say to that.

    Sometimes I do answer forms that ask about sexuality but most of the time I feel pretty bad about those because it can be disrespectful to the often long and difficult backstory of acceptance, understanding, and expression.
     
  5. HM03

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    The majority of the time I don't think it's right to ask. Places like the doctor's I can understand :slight_smile:
     
  6. maybon

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    Even at the doctors there should be an option “If it’s ever relevant I’ll let you know [ ]”

    Everywhere else it’s no bodies business.
     
  7. Tightrope

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    Thank you. That's what I thought. This was on an intro form to a group. A group that had NOTHING to do with sexuality, counseling, LGBT, etc., etc. Then the organizer and facilitator went on to say that she would not share the information.
     
  8. BlueMonday

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    I prefer that people keep their nose out of my personal info. I respect their privacy as well, it's their business.
     
  9. Mirko

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    It sounds like the facilitator was/is quite curious. It's strange that they would ask this.

    If I were to be given a form like this, and without an explanation as to why the information is needed or required, I wouldn't complete that part.
     
  10. PatrickUK

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    On forms and documents: it depends if the question is voluntary or compulsory and it depends on the reasoning behind the question. I don't think we should ever compel people to disclose their sexual orientation, but if the question is voluntary and the rationale is explained (e.g. diversity monitoring or provision of future services) I don't have a problem with it and would gladly answer myself. This question appeared for the first time on this years UK census, but it was a voluntary question. I'm really interested to see the data when it's published... only because I believe the UK is the 'gayest' country in the world.

    In person: I'm always kind of relieved if someone doesn't assume heterosexuality and politely and reasonably asks about my sexuality. It's more awkward to have to correct someone who has pigeon-holed me as white, straight with kids.