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Asexual?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Cleo mc, Mar 3, 2018.

  1. Chip

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    But you described yourself as uncertain,, and that's enough to qualify you.

    You do realize that you're doing everything possible to find an excuse why none of the options being presented to you can work, don't you? I think if instead of finding reasons to stay in the place you are, it might be sensible to find reasons to justify getting the help you obviously need.
     
  2. AmyMouse

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    Are you looking to work on empathy? This is where a trained therapist may be helpful. Therapy is not exclusively for people who are depressed, therapy is used for a variety of reasons. I have utilized it when I am feeling perfectly fine simply to have an unbiased person (someone who is not directly involved in my life) to talk to. If you would like to explore your issues with empathy, therapy could be of use. FlynnS made some really good points about therapy.

    Your lack of sexual attraction may have nothing (and from what you have explained - likely doesn't have anything) to do with childhood issues. No one here is qualified to psychoanalyze you, you know your life best and the individuals on this forum can only offer their advice based on their own life experience. If advice you are receiving here seems like it doesn't fit - reject it. If you think you're Asexual, there's nothing wrong with exploring that or questioning it. From what I know, after reading various studies and resources - Asexuality is a legitimate sexual orientation.

    I read an interesting article on PsychologyToday about Asexuality, and I know that some new research is being conducted (or has been conducted) at Stanford. Maybe try googling around for some of that information?

    The first time I felt that I may be a lesbian was quite early on in life. Sexuality can present itself early on, that is far from rare.

    People who are open books can sometimes reap the most rewards from therapy, because you don't have to build up to open communication. The only reason I suggested therapy was because you mentioned lack of empathy. That is something you may want to explore or - you may not want to explore. Again, it is ultimately up to you.

    I hope all is well with you.
     
  3. Cleo mc

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    ive been active on different threads trying to figure this out and honestly I’m getting a lot of opinions from people who probably have different sexual orientations but no one asexual. I would really appreciate someone asexual to describe what that’s like because I think I am but people on here are telling I’m probably not.
     
  4. Chip

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    The problem is, many people who claim to be asexual probably are not actually asexual, and are using the ridiculous crowdsourced definition that can literally mean anything. So an answer from one person will be meaningless.

    The issue is pretty clear. Based on what you've said, the difficulties are a result of underlying lack of empathy, which, your protestations to the contrary, are behavioral issues, likely resulting from family-of-origin issues (again, the research on this is solid, and your claims that it isn't are coming from a place of ignorance, as if it is, in fact, the case, you wouldn't realize the family-of-origin issues are there, because you've been raised with them. Let go of the arrogance and you might be able to help yourself.

    If you want to solve it, find a way to get yourself into therapy. If you don't... it's probably going to be difficult to get resolution.
     
  5. XefrAce

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    Hi, asexual here! Also a bit new-ish to these forums so if i shouldn't be posting on here because this thread is a bit old i apologize.

    I wasn't aware of what asexuality was at your age but if i did i definitely would have called myself that if i had known about it. Being asexual [for me at least] is a lack of sexual attraction towards anyone. I've never looked at someone and thought "Oh wow i'd like to have sex with that person." I've heard people who aren't asexual describe feeling sexual attraction as sort of an "Oh yeah i want to have sex with that" kind of response. Personally, i tend not to be attracted to anyone. I've only had 3 crushes in my life and i'm in college. You don't have to feel ashamed for not kissing a guy or having a boyfriend/girlfriend.

    In the end, you have the final say in what labels you go by. I hope this helps you a bit!