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Asexual and masturbation

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Katelyn93, Oct 3, 2021.

  1. Katelyn93

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    I'm sorry if this is a weird topic but I'm confused. Generally speaking I don't feel any sex drive or interest in sexual activity with my partner (same with my previous partner of over six years) but on odd occasion I feel the need to masterbate. Not that I get why since I don't even enjoy that but whatever. What's weird is I don't have that sexual pull towards people physically so I think I'm asexual or something but even when I feel like touching myself I don't feel any desire for actual sex? I'm kinda lost. Anyone else have something like this? If one does occasionally (blue moon) engage in sex, does that mean it's not a sexuality thing and maybe libido? Sorry, this has been weird to ask. I just don't really know and I'm curious as to how to define it even if it doesn't actually matter I guess.
     
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  2. BiGemini87

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    From what I understand, it's not uncommon for ace folk to have a libido without actually wanting to engage in intercourse. My knowledge is pretty limited though, so take anything I say on the subject with a grain of salt. ^^; I'm sure if you use the search, you'll find a thread with a great deal more insight into it.
     
  3. quebec

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    Katelyn93.....Have you considered seeing a therapist? I know that my decision to find a therapist was one of the best choices that I have ever made. He helped my sort out a lot of things that were confusing me and I think that you could benefit from that kind of help. Please think about it! :old_smile:
    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
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  4. Katelyn93

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    I actually am seeing a therapist regarding several other things including my gender, I'm a few months into my transition now, but generally speaking my sexuality doesn't really bother me. I'm more worried since I have this emotional connection with my current partner and had it with my ex that sort of slowly fades and I become disconnected as we go and they both feel neglected because I don't engage sexually either. But then on odd occasion I get this funny urge to get it out of my system or something and then touch myself. Luckily doesn't take long but it leaves me puzzled as to why I can't then do the partner thing.
     
  5. QuietPeace

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    As someone who is Demisexual I am on the asexual spectrum. I have also known a couple of Ace people IRL and encountered several in discussions online. It is fairly common among the Ace people that I have known to still have a libido and to masturbate. There is nothing inherently wrong with masturbating, if you feel the need then go ahead.

    Being Asexual means having little to no interest in sex but it does not mean that someone cannot have sex. People who are asexual can and do have sex. There can be many reasons for it. It might have to do with just having a libido and sex being a way to satisfy it. Some asexuals have sexual partners and have sex simply because they care about their partner and they know that the partner wants it.

    There are other things that can complicate the whole issue. Many people who experience dysphoria do not want to have sex because it makes them uncomfortable. In some cases this goes away after they transition. A lack of interest in sex can also have to do with trauma. I have traumas and a rare medical condition both of which caused me issues that led to me thinking that I was asexual. After addressing some of my issues I have found that I am interested in having sex with my husband though not that frequently.