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Are your friends/family slutshamers?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Driftr, Apr 13, 2016.

  1. Driftr

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    What is your social circle like when it comes to this topic? I'm really curious about whether there's any progress at all in terms of combating slut-shaming.

    Do you see it often in your social circle? Can you freely talk about your sex life with your family or friends without them judging?

    Also I'm kinda curious about how people in your circle react to a sexually promiscuous woman (since women get a lot more flack for expressing their sexuality and the number of sex partners they have) vs. a sexually promiscuous man. Do they react the same or is it double standards? ...and do you ever call them out on it?

    Sorry for all the questions lol, but I was just wondering about the whole social climate for this issue in 2016.
     
  2. RawringSnake

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    It's impossible to slut-shame you when you wear your sluttyness as a badge of honor, so I haven't had a problem with that. If anything me being so outspoken about it makes them feel somewhat uncomfortable, which I also take pride on :grin:

    There is most certainly a double-standard with women in that regard tho, which doesn't surprise me since my country is usually 10 steps behind the rest of the world in terms of social progress. One of my female friends is very promiscuous, but in our social circles she only confides this with me since she fears everyone else will think less of her because of it. It's sad that she feels she can't talk about these things with her own girlfriends, whom she has known since elementary school. I don't see that changing overnight, but progress is imminent, and I'd wager this will no longer be the case in 4-5 years time.
     
  3. Andrew99

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    No thank god.
     
  4. SHACH

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    All of you are guys... isn't it just more socially acceptable for guys? For girls I think there is no escaping slut shaming. If you ever sleep with anyone you're not in a relationship with people are judging a little. That's just friends. Family will be ingraining the slut-shaming mindset in you from day one. So yeah, friends I could (if I had a sex life haha), but I'd still expect a few to judge me a bit and family never, I am almost 18 and one side of my family at least would have a huge problem if I even had a bf (like, the gf predicament doesn't even come into it - it's literally just the idea of me being in a relationship at all that's unacceptable).
     
  5. RawringSnake

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    Fixed. You would be surprised at how much flak gay men get for being promiscuous, from within the LGBT+ community itself no less. Hell, you will even find this forum brimming with this elitist, puritan attitude if you know where to look.

    That said...

    You are completely right on this regard.
     
  6. springroll

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    In my social circle it's actually the girls who get admired for sleeping around. Like, every one is cool with it.
    And we're freaking Asians.
    I think the whole dudes getting high-five for scoring a chick is more prevalent among the college age group. I don't see older man get much respect for being a man whore either.
     
  7. Driftr

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    Am I reading that right? Lol wow that's a first. Your crew already seems like a chill awesome bunch. If you mind me asking, where exactly do you live?
     
  8. R M

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    I dont care how many partners a man/woman has or how much sex. What I dont like is all the underage teens in my school dressing and acting like total sluts all the time. I mean, theyre barely 15 and dressing like theyre 20. i think its disqusting.
    Sorry if i sound mea or something but i just dont like it
     
  9. Echidna

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    Absulutely, coming from an immigrant family one difference is that even straight makes can be slut-shamed. I went to California over the summer and they asked me the name of my friends, when I mentioned several girls they took it to mean that I was dating several girlfriends and talked shit behind my back.
    They're also always trying to guess who's gay, they are very homophobic and being gay is considered a fate worse than death.

    Note these are my relatives and extended family, my immediate family isn't quite as bad.

    I wonder what they'd say if they knew that I'm not totally straight and have had a couple of expieriences with other guys.

    I'm much more worried about my older brother, he just came out to me as gay and I just don't want our parents to find out.
     
  10. RedEyeFlash

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    I've been accused of slut shaming though I have never judged anybody for sleeping around, or for being open and honest about it for that matter. I do find it frustrating when people treat sleeping around as an accomplishment. Or when getting laid is their main priority in life. There is far more to life than sex. I'm not saying that sleeping around is good or bad but It certainly isn't an accomplishment. Especially now that sex with no strings is easier than it has ever been to find.
    AGAIN No judgement and I'll openly admit that I am no angel in this regard. But it is also frustrating to meet people and have them just assume that you are a slut when they find out that you're gay. It is also frustrating and a little scary to try and meet somebody to date when they have had so much sex with other people that they have little to no emotional attachment to it because it's been so readily available for them.
     
  11. Kira

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    Friends: No, thank goodness. I'm very picky.

    Family: "Yes" would be quite the understatement.

    The only time I judge at all is when 8-10 year olds dress like impractical armor fresh out of "Mortal Kombat", I feel like that may have something to do with bad parenting though. Enjoy your childhood, you can grow up later!
     
  12. AgenderMoose

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    Yes. Soooo soo many of my friends slutshame. It's painful. I'll be talking to them, and we'll get on a tangent about something, possibly a girl we don't like because of reasons and then one of them will say that she sleeps around or is a slut, whore, etc. And I'm just like "whoa whoa, chill out, buddy, we don't need to judge about sexual activity that's not our place she can do what she wants".

    Oddly enough, the only family of mine that I listen to on matters like this are not. Even though I'm not planning on having sex like...ever...my mom and stepdad have let me know that they don't mind if I do, but to make sure that I'm open with them and playing it safe.
     
  13. Libertino

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    Some of my straight male friends are, yes. I don't really know my family's opinion on the matter, though none of them have ever used words like "slut" that I can think of. But my straight male friends will congratulate each other on sexual "conquests" or having threesomes and things like that, but any girl who has had a lot of partners or seems to desire sex as much as they do is a "fucking whore", even if that means they will then proceed to have sex with her. I tell you, as much as these guys are my friends, I do get a little sick of that kind of "manly" attitude and talk.
     
  14. springroll

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    Lol my location is classified.
    But here's a twist. While people were totally cool with it, none of the girls were happy. They all had feelings, and they wanted a long stable relationship. Can you see the dilema? They were free to do whatever they want, but they couldn't get what they truly wanted.

    ---------- Post added 13th Apr 2016 at 10:30 PM ----------

    Also, who to say girls don't high 5 after a sexual conquest :wink:
     
  15. LoveMeLez

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    I also feel the same. I wouldnt want my daughter to act like that either. Later on its ok to be a little promiscuous if caution is used. My family has never slutshamed anyone while Ive been around but I know back in the day, high school years, I have done it. Not anymore since I understand a lot more than I used to. Would I run around and have sex with a lot of people, no. Thats just not me. But what doesnt hurt me doesnt concern me.
     
  16. rudysteiner

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    My friends are very quick to slut-shame someone if they're not famous. If they are famous, though, x person can be as big a hoe as they want to be. My family don't comment on it either way.
     
  17. RyFastForward

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  18. Plattyrex

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    My old friends kind of did I guess. They called eachother sluts and whores all the time, so I guess that kinda counts. Other than that I don't know too many people who really do this. I'm not popular anymore though, so maybe I'm just not seeing it. I do understand that promiscuity is a bit of social taboo, but I personally don't think ou should antagonize others for it. There are certainly risks that come with sleeping with people you don't know, but if somebody is willing to take those risks than the only person they migt be hurting is themself. Obviously if you knowingly have an std or something and you sleep around anyway you're a bad person and you should be ridiculed, but other than that there really isn't much of an issue with having sex a lot. Giraffes have sex a lot, and they're like the best things ever.
     
  19. Pret Allez

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    No. My mom is pretty anti-sex, which is fucking annoying, but actually, my friends are legitimately positive and affirming about active sexuality.

    I select out the slut-shamers.
     
  20. DreamerBoy17

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    Ha my dad is one of those people that thinks if a woman was wearing revealing clothing, she was "asking for it."
    No.
    Some of my friends do tend to look down on "slutty" women but I don't.