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Are you confident in your looks?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by lovetoomuch, Dec 2, 2015.

  1. Mila

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    I think we are our strictest critics. When You look in the mirror day in and day out, several times a day, you get accustomed to every inch of yourself, your desirable and not desirable bits.

    I don't think you need to care too much about what others think of your appearance. As long as you feel comfortable and happy being you and how you present- chances are, others will like your looks too.

    I'm alright looking, or that's what I think at least. The problem is that when I look in the mirror I see an okay looking guy, not a girl. and that's where the problem really starts for me. On those days when I look like myself (girl), I have zero confidence:/

    Mila
     
  2. MayaBee

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    Well, that is a tuff question to answer. I will start off by saying it depends on the day. Sometimes I am super confident with myself, sometimes I hate myself.

    As a person who went through quite a lot lately, including a total change on the way I look(I cutt my hair off just Tuesday, changed my whole clothing style and the way I try to appear), I could say that I am confident with what I have achieved with the way I appear. I like that I am different now, I like that I am myself now.

    But there are also bad days. Days where I wish I looked like the people from the movies, days where I wished that fat on my stomach wouldnt be there, days where I wished I was somebody else.
    But I try to not give myself the chance to embrace that self-hate. When I feel ugly, I dont go to the mirror and critic myself. I try to think of all the times where I feel so confident. The times when I dont look down to see if there are rolls on my stomach.
    After all, I am happy with what I look like and what I changed about myself and the way I appear. Most of the times.

    If you had asked me that question a year ago, I couldnt say the same.
     
  3. ThatBorussenGuy

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    That, right there, is what I was trying to say earlier; just flip the genders and it's exactly what I was thinking.

    It's why I'm frustrated when I look at myself in a mirror and why I can never do it without a shirt on.
     
  4. Plattyrex

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    People tell me I have a cute face, but I have terrible body issues that cannot be fixed by reassurance from others.
     
  5. VideoGAYmer

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    put it bluntly, i don't give a f**k.
     
  6. driedroses

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    I'm finally at a point in my life where I am confident in my looks. I'm only 41, but my hair is completely grey because I stopped coloring it a year or so ago. I'm not the skinniest I've ever been, but I'm comfortable with my body. I've worn glasses since high school. If I wear makeup, it's generally only lipstick; I might use more for interviews or special occasions.

    I had to "fake it until I made it" with the confidence. My Facebook cover picture is a wall grafittied with the words You Are Beautiful. It was very difficult initially to see that, but now I believe it.

    I've also become more confident with my unclothed body. My breasts sag and I have a "mommy" tummy and stretch marks - four pregnancies will do that to you, but those are all part of who I am and if the person I'm with can't appreciate that, they aren't worth my time. I actually feel better about my body and my looks than I did when I was 18, pre-kids, and a beanpole.
     
  7. gibson234

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    I'm frustrated with myself. I actually think I'm quite good looking. But I've fucked it up by being fat. Hopefully in the next couple of months I can do something about that.
     
  8. Lawrence

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    Yes. Technically, I'm sexually attracted to myself. There are more pros than cons about it.

    If someone doesn't think you're hot, then you haven't spammed them with enough selfies (although, obviously, don't overdo it lol) or they have very different tastes in guys or they're only into chicks or maybe even toasters for all I know.

    It's hard for me to understand why so many people think they look unattractive. I'm sure there's something they could work with, unless they suffered serious disfigurement and re-constructive surgery isn't an option.

    I think the key is finding a type of look/style that makes you feel good about yourself. Of course you could plan to attract the maximum percentage of guys, but it's best just to go with things you enjoy a lot.

    I lack confidence in my intelligence. Sometimes I feel like the only types of intelligence I possess are a killer instinct and a useless extensive knowledge of knives. I know I'm clever, but deep down I feel like an idiot. Usually. External validation doesn't really fix the problem. Achievement only provides a brief respite. And mania isn't always fun.
     
  9. bubbles123

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    I used to be really unconfident about how I looked. Now I'm not so much. I know this doesn't sound great but what made me feel better is when other people said I was ridiculous for thinking so or complemented me. Now that I've experienced that, I've gotten better on my own too. I just realize, like we're all just humans and we all have faces and bodies and literally everyone has things about their body they wish they could do without. But does that change the way you see them? No.
    A lot of the things you think people take notice to, they really don't. And even if there are some of those things that people notice about you, does that change anything? No! If you have a friend who gained weight or started getting acne, would that change the fact that they're your friend and you care about them the same? No. If they told you they were insecure about those things, you'd tell them not to be because it really doesn't matter and no one really cares as much as you think they do. It's all in your head. Everyone beats themselves up for things they can't help (or you could help but would add a lot of undue stress to your life), so why not make it easy for ourselves and just stop being so hard on ourselves. Why not just let it be? We're all humans!

    I also look up to certain celebrities who are like "You know what, I'm not super good-looking. I'm not a Kardachian, and I'm not going to go out of my way to try to be." Amy Schumer is kind of like that.
     
  10. Falklands Sheep

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    I'd say... sort of. It really depends on the time of the day, what clothes I'm wearing, and if I screwed up while shaving or not.

    Here's the thing. I'm not exactly thin. Quoting a friend of mine, I'm "ridiculously huge", so I try to make do with what I have. I've grown to love and hate my body, to the point in which I can say I'm comfortable with it. I don't like it, but don't dislike it either.

    So, in the end, in my case at least, it all goes down to my clothes and hair. If I'm dressed like a vagrant, I look horrid. If I dress sharp, I look good. And if I put on a suit, much better.
     
  11. Mental

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    I think I'm a bit odd, because I never like how I look no matter what. For some reason I have the need to be attractive to everyone, and therefore hate how masculine my legs look. But at the same time, if I look more feminine, I might attract less girls. This is how my life works. I want one thing but am never happy even when I get it. I will always find a problem with my looks.
     
  12. Just1Dude

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    Some days yes.. some days no. I guess it all really depends, but even on the good days I'm not extremely confident. I gain confidence in other aspects of my life, definitely not my looks.
     
  13. BookWriter1994

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    People would tell me that I look pretty but to be honest, I honestly don't believe them. I have acne scars everywhere and new pimples would show up. I do have really thick curly hair that people would die to have but I have no idea on how to take care of it but I am learning to try to. I have a petite body build and belly fat that I know that I need to lose but I always put that off.

    so I am not very confident of my looks but I know that I should be. But maybe after I change some of the things on my face and hair will I finally have confidence.
     
  14. DinelodiiGitli

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    Not really.
    I mean I don't think I'm absolutely repulsive looking or anything but I'm not fond of my appearance. Childhood stuff, dysphoria and the eating disorder probably doesn't help.
     
  15. lovetoomuch

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    Thanks everyone for replying - I didn't expect this post to catch on as much as it has.

    I wonder what extremely good looking people think of themselves. I'm sure they see flaws, but I wonder how it feels knowing numerous people find you attractive.

    Also, from reading your posts, I can tell how hard people are on themselves (like I am on myself). Like some said, I have my days. One day I'll look in the mirror and say, "I think I look pretty good today."

    Unfortunately, the next day I could end up saying, "Look at those acne scars. I'm too skinny. My hair looks really ugly."
    But as someone said, while it is good to have confidence, we all just have to find just one person who sees us as attractive and special (and we feel the same way about that person).

    I hope we will all find that person.
     
  16. Steve FS

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    In my class, I knew this girl who was 10/10 stunning. Her hair was the perfect shade of blonde-brown, she was about 5'9", and she seriously looked like a super model. She had an hourglass shape and had grey-blue eyes. So beautiful.

    She told us that she had problems in relationships and had had her heart broken. She told us to never go for good-looking guys because they will always cheat on you, and to go for mediocre guys with good personalities. I feel like she never knows the intention of other guys because all they want to do is sleep with her for her body in nothing else.

    I like to think of attractiveness as a balancing system. From my experience, attractive people tend to have dull personalities, while mediocre people tend to have fantastic personalities. I have yet to find someone who has both impeccable looks and an amazing personality.

    So people who are only attractive physically... they'll have underdeveloped personalities and will probably end up being in a LOT of relationships because they can't seem to click with people. Their insecurities will stem from the fact that they're not interesting enough. They're not funny, they're not smart, they don't have signature quirks... they're just mediocre. Past the good looks, they're not something you'd want to stay with for long because they're so boring.

    It is seriously heartbreaking.
     
  17. Lawrence

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    I can see why you think that way (that's what you experienced after all), but it's important to keep in mind that it really does depends on the individual. In my experience, most people are okay, but both attractive people and less attractive people can develop shitty personalities! Maybe the impeccable looking guys are more likely to turn detached and superficial, a bit like what you described. And maybe the mediocre guys are more likely to turn calculating and sneaky.

    I haven't read any studies about this kind of thing, but this was a good starting point:
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Physical_attractiveness_stereotype#Beauty_premium_phenomenon
     
  18. Immaunicorn

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    It really depends on the day for me. I can start out the day thinking I look hella cute, but it doesn't usually end up like that and if it does, it doesn't last. It's much easier for me to see all the pathetic flaws I have rather than anything else.
     
  19. Hexagon

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    Yeah, pretty much. Been a long time coming though.
     
  20. RainOnVII

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    No, I don't have much confidence in my looks, if any. I'm really self-conscious about my eyebags (from lack of sleep), and my cheeks, though people have complimented on them (and I have no idea why). There's also being asian admist a mostly caucasian community--I don't feel attractive because the conventional good looks around here are blue-eyed blonds.