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Are feelings mutual or am I out of my mind?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by AmberRosey, May 30, 2019.

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  1. AmberRosey

    AmberRosey
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 30, 2019
    Messages:
    1
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    0
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    How could i ever possibly know?

    I met her through work and we have grown to be best friends this past year. We are like 2 peas in a pod at work, and it has grown to become an awesome friendship outside of work. We talk everyday about every sort of subject, and we hangout often.

    We both have gotten to know eachother really fast and we sometimes joke around about how much i like her. She flirts with me sometimes when were texting and even hanging out, but often it gets dissmissed as a "just joking" thing.

    Problem is....I cant help but often think that she is into girls also and Im not sure if this is just wishful thinking or not. We're both 24 and she has never had a boyfriend or even a first kiss. Shes a real tomboy and fits a ton of lesbian stereotypes.

    Another problem is...Im in a 3 year relationship with a guy and im starting to realize i might be into someone else..... my best friend...... I feel confused and not sure what to do..

    Is my friend a closeted lesbian? Is she in denial? Maybe she doesnt know yet?

    I hope i can get some feedback, ask me questions if you want also
     
    #1 AmberRosey, May 30, 2019
  2. Luria77

    Luria77
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2019
    Messages:
    44
    Likes Received:
    93
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I know how you feel....I've had a close friendship this past year with a woman I've known for awhile (we've recently become closer) but I'm not sure how she feels about me. Sometimes I think it's hard to tell if a girl is into you, or if she's into you but in the closet, or what. It's really, really complicated. I'm 40 and just realized that I'm actually pretty gay, and have always liked girls, but if you had ever suggested to me up until now that I would be with a girl (or if a girl hit on me I would probably freak out), I would deny it. I really wanted to fit in with society, and to even suggest I would do something out the norm would freak me out. So it could be that she's into you, but not willing to acknowledge her sexuality (and may never be).

    So where do you go from here? It could really be nothing, she could have zero feelings for you, or she could have feelings that she's not ready to acknowledge (and may not for decades- believe me, there are tons of lesbians who have even married, had kids, then realized that we're actually gay!) in our 30s, 40s, 50s or even 60s!

    Why don't you try talk to her about your feelings for girls (you don't have to say your feelings for HER!) and see how she reacts. This can give you a good idea of if she's even willing to acknowledge that she might be gay. I would start there and see where that conversation goes.

    Good luck!
     
    #2 Luria77, Jun 6, 2019
    Drizzle likes this.
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