1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Appropriate terms for non-straight/cisgender people

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by AnAtypicalGuy, Oct 2, 2016.

  1. AnAtypicalGuy

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2016
    Messages:
    515
    Likes Received:
    17
    Location:
    Gallifrey
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I was looking around online and I found some websites stating that "queer" was a derogatory term for non-straight people. The word is even listed as a derogatory term in the dictionary. I was surprised by this because that word had never struck me as being offensive, but then I began to wonder whether I had been misinformed and whether "queer" was actually not an acceptable term for us. Finally I figured I might as well utilise this forum to see other people's opinions on this.

    Also, what is your opinion on the acronym that represents our community? I've seen so many variations (LGBT, LGBTQ, LGBT+, LGBTQIA etc.) that nowadays I've had to spend considerable time considering which one is the most appropriate. Which acronym do you think is the most suitable and/or inclusive, and why?
     
  2. AlexanderDragon

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2015
    Messages:
    209
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Seattle
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I attended an LGBT+ summer camp this summer, which totally revised my view on the word queer. I used to be hesitant to use the word queer at all, but at camp, I was surrounded by so many LGBT+ folk using it in a healthy blanket way that I kind of... absorbed that, I guess? regardless, queer is one of my preferred ways of addressing my own identity now so ∧( 'Θ' )∧

    and as far as the acronym thing, I feel that LGBT+ works in most and/or all situations, at least as far as I'm concerned
     
  3. Gunsmoke

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2016
    Messages:
    609
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Manchester, United Kingdom
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    About the word "queer" - it's one of those words that has been used as a slur for a really long time and is now being reclaimed by our community, like black people with the n-word. So technically it probably would be considered a slur by language experts, although a lot of LGBTQ+ people don't find it harmful (I don't really like it, but what will you do?).

    I personally use LGBTQ+ because I don't want to type out the whole thing, honestly. For me, the "Q" means "questioning/queer" and the "+" refers to asexuals, pansexuals and NB people. So it's just me trying to be more inclusive whilst also being slightly lazy, haha.
     
    #3 Gunsmoke, Oct 2, 2016
    Last edited: Oct 2, 2016
  4. kibou97

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2016
    Messages:
    773
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    Kentucky
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Queer used to be offensive but now, it's probably the most accepted word that used to have a derogatory connotation that this community has aside from our labels. I have encountered a few people in the lgbt community that argue the term "fag" is becoming more accepted but it still holds a way worse connotation than something like "queer" so just to be safe, I wouldn't use it. I normally just use the acronym anytime I refer to people in the community unless I'm specifically talking about one of the sub-groups. As for what acronym I use, I use either lgbt or lgbtq, I'll just be honest and say it really depends on how lazy I feel like being.
     
    #4 kibou97, Oct 2, 2016
    Last edited: Oct 2, 2016
  5. BrookeVL

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2016
    Messages:
    2,157
    Likes Received:
    293
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I'm perfectly okay with the word queer. I'm extremely queer.
     
  6. baconpox

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2014
    Messages:
    964
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Queer is sometimes appropriate, but I don't think it should be used to refer to any specific person who's not straight but of unspecified sexuality. I personally don't like to call it the "queer community" as a blanket term, but I don't think it's that big of a deal on the internet or something. If you're talking about it with one person/a small group of people, you should find out what they specifically are okay with.

    I just say "people who aren't straight" which is clunky, but preferable to making people uncomfortable.
     
  7. Creativemind

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 4, 2015
    Messages:
    3,281
    Likes Received:
    410
    Location:
    Somewhere
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I don't like the word queer. I'm okay with other people calling themselves queer, but I don't want to be called that word.

    My reasons include;
    a) It's a slur.
    b) It's original definition means "Odd, freak, weird", which I find degrading. I want to be seen as a STRAIGHT person that just happens to like the same sex, as in an equality way. Calling us weird or freaks sets our equality back 100 years.
    c) Even if you argue that "LGBT people are odd/weird because we're minorities", you'd also have to include heterosexuals in our community since some are crossdressers, into BDSM, etc. Many hetero men were called queer for that reason in the past.
    d) The term queer is associated with radical politics that I strongly disagree with and don't want to be linked with.
    e) Most people that identify as queer use it as a term for "questioning". This can be problematic for gay people, since a lot of straight people will use it to try to "open" us up to the opposite sex (already happened to me).

    Personally, I just prefer LGBT+. Some people say It's not inclusive, but I fail to see why. You're homoflexible/Kinsey 5? Then you're still LG. You're pansexual? That still falls under the bisexual umbrella. Non-binary gender? That's under the "T". As for asexuals, if you want to include them as well, you can just say LGBTA like I've heard some people use.

    But again, if one person specifically wants to call themselves queer, no big deal.
     
    #7 Creativemind, Oct 3, 2016
    Last edited: Oct 3, 2016
  8. Opheliac

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2014
    Messages:
    898
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    The Eastern Ind.
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    All but family
    It depends on who you ask tbh, some people will tell you queer is ok and some will tell you it's not. Personally I'm fine with being called queer. I don't think there will ever be a term that will please absolutely everyone, so I think most people is good enough xD

    What is important is to be considerate of the terms that people use for themselves. If someone expressly says they don't want to be called a particular term, it's not cool to keep calling them that.
     
  9. Spider

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 24, 2014
    Messages:
    144
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Kansas, United States
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    The acronym I prefer is "GSM" for Gender and Sexual Minorities its all-inclusive without needing to list out every nuance of human sexuality and gender. And for clarity one can split between gender minorities and sexual minorities.
     
  10. Gunsmoke

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2016
    Messages:
    609
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Manchester, United Kingdom
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Creativemind - I really agree, I hate the word and I don't want anybody using it to refer to me, although whether or not they use it for themselves is their own business.

    I'm not so bothered about the term "the queer community" because I don't associate myself with it, for the reason you listed about the association with radical politics. I know that it's a word we're "reclaiming" or whatever, but I'd rather that it wasn't a defining word for LGBTQ+ people. I mean, I'm bisexual. Not queer.

    ---------- Post added 3rd Oct 2016 at 10:12 AM ----------

    Hey, that's pretty good, I like that one.
     
  11. Cedar

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2015
    Messages:
    664
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Out in the country, Ontario
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)

    That's a pretty good one I might have to look into using that one. Beyond that, I try to ask people what they prefer to be referred to as. I think that's the fairer way of going about it but I live in a pretty small community and most other lgbt+ people tend to keep that information to themselves.
     
  12. Kasey

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2013
    Messages:
    6,391
    Likes Received:
    157
    Location:
    The Commonwealth of Massachusetts
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Shit I don't even know...

    Not going to lie, non binary people still confuse the shit out of me so calling non hetero cisgender people... Ahhhh my brain hurts already.

    Fuck it. I call them a person.
     
  13. midwestgirl89

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2011
    Messages:
    1,101
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Indiana
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I don't like the word "queer" to describe myself or the community. I'm totally ok with someone calling themselves queer because it's their own choice but many people in the LGBT community don't like that word at all so I don't want it as a blanket term.

    I use LGBT, LGBT+, or idk . rainbow people ? GSM also works well however most people wouldn't know what that means so I don't use it.
     
    #13 midwestgirl89, Oct 4, 2016
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 4, 2016