Anyone's dysphoria get worse after beginning their transition?

After coming out to my close friends the feelings of dysphoria got better for a few days and then they got worse. Like drowning in them? I think putting things out in the open can really intensify the feelings.. I'm not really sure why it is or even if that's true but that's been my general experience? I'm sorry, this probably isn't very helpful. I really hope these feelings get better for you though <3

 

Once I realized I was trans, my dysphoria got way worse than it was before. It makes sense to me because before I didn't know what those feelings were, so I didn't understand them, whereas now I know what it is and I can't help but focus on it more and get frustrated.

 

Same, once I came out (to myself) my dysphoria became much worse. I think it's because I was no longer denying and blocking it out

 

YES. Holy crap, it was really bad right after I came out. I had this vague unhappiness right before I figured things out. But after? The six months after I came out were some of the worst of my life. I'd get so anxious and dysphoric, it was unreal.

Once I moved out of my mother's and got to live full time, it helped. Went to a gender therapist (who turned out to be a complete animal cracker who shouldn't be licensed to give therapy to snowcrabs, but that's another story) and I think even just knowing that I could eventually go on T made a huge difference.

I can still get really really dysphoric now but that's primarily social. In fact, a lot of my dysphoria beforehand was very social.

Weirdly enough, gaining a little weight helped with a lot of my body dysphoria. I would NOT recommend you go eat yourself to death- I had the case of starting a new primarily desk based job and a new medication. But now my chest looks normal and porportionate to my frame- like a bear's. Do I still bind? Yes. But hopefully not for much longer.

 

I've had some rough nights and bad days because of dysphoria. Realizing that the person in my head doesn't match my physical body/biological sex was the start of it, but after that point I started getting way more sensitive to things that made the dysphoria stronger. I went from not caring about my name/being annoyed by my name to wishing I didn't have to hear it. My family using male pronouns and terminology to refer to me makes my heart sink now when I rarely noticed them before. So yeah, I think it's natural for dysphoria to become stronger the more important and relevant your gender issue becomes for you.

 

Before I realised I was trans, dysphoria was there but it was so low in the background, I barely noticed. I knew I felt uncomfortable with my body and I also felt uncomfortable socially but once I worked out why and realised that I was literally trapped inside the wrong body and so so far away from where I felt like I should be, the dysphoria went through the roof. I couldn't shower without crying. I struggled to get undressed at night and so some nights would have to sleep in my clothes and when it was that special week of the month, I felt so anxious about it that I swear the cramps were 100 times worse and I would sleep in a binder (would NOT recommend. I woke up in the night unable to breathe).

After the initial realization and coming out to immediate family, it died down to a bearable level but I'm expecting it to flare up again as I start integrating with other people rather than spending all my time alone. I also think that trying to look male full time when the reality is I won't pass at all will be another trigger. Ugh, I'm dreading the next few months.

But, one thing I've noticed is that my dysphoria worsens depending on my stress level. The more stressed I am, the more dysphoric I feel. So by working on reducing my stress level, I hope to be able to control my dysphoria.

I don't know if anyone else finds this connection.

 

I think my dysphoria mostly started to increase when I became more aware of the trans* community and what people were doing to cope with their gender dysphoria. Though I feel as if I think more about it now once I admitted to myself I am transgender because before I just kind of hid my feelings. But knowing that the possibility of transitioning is out there gives me some sense of comfort.

 

Oh, so it isn't unusual?

Yeah. I feel the same way. Most of my life I pushed it aside and denied it. But after accepting it, and coming out, my dysphoria grew, and I really want to transition.

But... I am glad I stopped lieing to myself. And hopefully I will eventually take hormones and finally have a body I am actually comfortable in.

 

I have felt exactly the same way, it's kind of a relief to hear other people have this experience! I'm still closeted, I only "came out to myself" a couple of weeks ago, and since then I've felt much more dysphoric. I internally cringe when I am given male pronouns, or hear my given name. While before I had body hair that I largely ignored - though I had the urge to be shaven the hair itself didn't bother me, if that makes sense - Now I've shaven but feel disgusted and anxious when I see it growing back. I feel that my identity is much more out of step with my presentation now, because I'm no longer repressing my identity.