Anyone else feel sick when they go to church?

I personally will never be able to go back to a religion, but it was sooo healing to have friends who are lgbt and have a church they feel comfortable with. At our pride parade we have close to 8 churches who always march and it always brings a smile to my face.

Trauma causes by religion is super real. It fucking sucks so you are not alone. For a long time I had to distance myself from the church. Now I go to catholic mass twice a year (being a good son we promise my mom 2 days a year), but I make it a point to go with my husband and I make it a point to hug, give him a peck, and hold hands at least once. Its my own little way to say "fuck you, I will make this space what I want to make it. Dare you to say something". I have friend who wear a rainbow pin to church too.

I also want to show any lgbt youth there that they are not alone and we are everywhere.

If you havevent seen it yet, check out "for the bible tells me so" on netflix. Its really good!

 

My mom and I don’t follow Catholicism anymore. I didn’t know I was gay when we still went. I never felt uncomfortable there though. I usually fell asleep. I have felt uncomfortable though a few times in someone else’s church if it did not feel gay friendly or even in the presence of a religious persons house who has there house covered in crosses and religious writings.

 

No. I've gone all my life and still go today. Never felt any sort of apprehension for going.

 

I went to a Catholic grade school and high school, so I went to church a lot growing up. Ironically, I'm the one pushing my family to go more now. We're all kind of religious, but not the extreme bible-banging, Jesus-freak types. I actually feel like I'm more religious than my family. I guess because I feel that I need it more than they do.

 

If you feel sick when you go to church, you shouldn't go. In some religions, LGBT people are simply not part of the scheme. In those situations, why even bother? In others, it depends on the congregation. In those, if you feel sick, you might be reacting to the congregation and the message it's sending. If you don't feel sick, it might be that the congregation is sending messages that make you feel okay.

I've also seen situations where people are put off because they've had bad situations with a few people in leadership positions in congregations while the situation is not really that way across the board or may have become more affirming over the years. They can then choose to go to another congregation or to the main church, which is usually urban.

People who have been violated seldom ever go again. They've been traumatized. It's understandable why they wouldn't go. A scuffle with someone who is a church leader is also traumatic. It's also understandable why they wouldn't go as well.

 

I haven’t gone to mass in years. I’m now agnostic. I’m not sure if I can believe in a god who’s love is conditional on doing what the Vatican tells you and begging for forgiveness when you don’t. I have been in a church to pray for my mother who does believe. She knows I’m gay but doesn’t have a problem with it. She also knows I’ve been celibate my whole life and even the church is okay with gay people as long as they don’t act on their feelings. It’s not that I wouldn’t act on my feelings I just haven’t had the opportunity. I feel wrong being in a church, not sick just weird, when I don’t know if god is real and I don’t believe in many of their mandates. I hate church always have. I’m the oldest child of the cousins on my mothers side and we only took one car to mass when we visited and couldn’t take 6 kids. I got screwed over the most when they decided first the kids who had made their communion and as we got older our confirmation had to go. My mother stopped pressing the issue when I turned 18. She’ll ask but won’t do more. I hated having to get up early on a Sunday. I didn’t even go for Easter. I have a problem with the whole resurrection belief.

 

I never felt sick at church. To be honest it was always a nice place to be for me. It felt holy, like something higher was there. That it gave me something higher than human to reach for. It was almost ethereal in a way. I didn’t see the same church everyone else saw.

 

This is a curious thread for me. I am a priest (Eastern Orthodox). I attended Catholic schools and enjoyed going to church all my life. I never felt sick about it, though the Church's teaching on homosexuality caused me trremendous guilt and shame. After my ordination I felt more like a hypocrite because I still had gay desires.

Last year I finally accepted that being gay was as God made me and I finally stopped blaming myself and accepted my homosexuality as a gift. Of course my Church is opposed to that, so I am in the process of patiently waiting for the bishops to formally defrock me. This Sunday will be my last servuce as I quietly bow out as a priest to live my life as a gay man.

I still have faith in God. The Church, both Roman Catholic and Eastern Orthodox, has got it wrong about homosexualiry. I still intend on going to church to pray but as a lay perso. I don't plan on taking the sacraments as I will be living a lifestyle considered sinful by the church hierarchy..

I fully understand why so many LGBT people have abandoned church going. Yet I pray that a distinction is drawn between what Christ taught and how His teachings are interpreted by some church leaders and denominations. With all of the stress and prejudice we live with, we need the comfort and grace of a higher power. Thankfully there are some churches more affirming of LGBT people. For those who have no church, consider visiting one of those houses of worship. You may find it spiritually uplifting and rewarding. Remember - Christ loves us too!!!

 

Oh, wow. I think I missed this part of your whole story and wow... you sir are the most amazing person. In awe with how you have handled everything because it has to take sooo much courage to do what you are doing.

I hope that at some point you might consider joining an lgbt friendly church. We need more people like you helping lead other lgbt into a place of healing that they need.

No one can tell you what to do, but in my opinion follow your feelings a bit. Try new things that might help you out and figure out what works for you.

For some people going into an lgbt accepting church is great. For other people taking a break from any religion helps out. And for others not believing can be very healing as well.

There really isn't a wrong answer when it comes to this type of stuff. Do what makes you feel better and brings joy to your life and know that you can always change your mind at any point.

 

I wouldn’t call it courage, more like the course of events that happens when one leaves their faith due to doubt.

I know I began to doubt an all loving god when I realized that life from a compassionate viewpoint is pretty cruel. What loving god would make creatures that eat and kill each other and suffer. The usual answer that “god works in mysterious ways” didn’t cut it anymore. That, from what I saw, suffering and bad things happen and that’s life. There’s no rhyme or reason for any of it, but feeling like it’s part of a plan or path helps people cope. It’s a common theme in religions. Suffering is easier to bear if you believe it’s for something. But I realized that it’s not so. It’s just a fact of life.

It’s disillusionment and it was hard for me to accept. Mostly because you realize that there isn’t anyone watching over you and guiding you and life is more a product of chance and choice.