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Anyone else feel sick when they go to church?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by GeckoLove, Apr 15, 2019.

  1. GeckoLove

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    On my way to church this past Sunday, I drove with my friend and mom. Honestly, I don't believe and God and I'm forced to go to church ( sorry if you do believe) and not gonna lie, I'm pretty sure my church wouldn't accept me for obvious reasons. Anyways on the way there the topic of LGBTQ+ came up magically. My mom asked our thoughts on it, and my friend said that we're lying to ourselves, and my mom said that bisexuals are just confused....of course neither of them know about me, so I was just sitting there uncomfortably. I ignored them until we got to church, and when we went inside I already had a bad taste in my mouth. When the music started playing I began to feel really sick, and I noticed I was actually shaking, like wtf me. Then I had to literally stop myself from crying. I never, ever cry!!! Has this ever happened to anyone else when they went to church, or was it just me being weird?
     
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  2. 18breanna

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    Ugh I feel you. I don't get physically I'll but I get lightheaded. I just hate being dragged to a place of worship that I don't feel any connection with. I always try asking my mom why, trying to understand why she thinks forcing religion on people would accomplish anything.
    Like does she honestly think you can force someone into belief? Or is she honestly so completely brainwashed...i dont know.
    But yeah its the worst and I'm sorry you have to deal with that. I haven't been dragged to one a while thankfully.
     
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  3. GeckoLove

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    Phew, well at least it's not just me. I've said the same thing to my mom, and she always responds with "you'll believe when I'm dead." Tbh.....I don't really think I'll care, I kinda hate her..
     
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  4. 18breanna

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    I'm sorry that you feel that way about her. A lot of times, older religious people actually think they're helping. In their minds, they're saving you from eternal damnation, but I just want them to understand that not everyone believes their religion.
     
  5. PatrickUK

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    Has this ever happened to you before when you have been to church? If it hasn't I would suggest the reason for the overwhelming reaction actually lies in the questioning and discomfort that preceded your entrance into the church. What went through your mind when your mom randomly brought up the topic?
     
  6. GeckoLove

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    No, this has never happened to me before, usually it's like I'm wearing a shell. Honestly, I was pissed at her and kinda shocked, I always thought she was more accepting I guess
     
  7. GeckoLove

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    I think that's a good way to look at it, not to force religion on people and let them choose. Anyways, no matter how hard she tries, it's not gonna work. I'm very stubborn, so it's her loss
     
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  8. Emmareld

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    It is understandable to be uncomfortable in an environment where everyone there may not accept you for who you are because of their religious beliefs. Sometimes one thing may not cause any discomfort but based on how you feel mentally, and your worries that are present can cause discomfort the next time around.

    I've been uncomfortable in church as well, although it has been awhile since I've been. I don't believe in god or anything like that so I find it kind of weird with all the chanting, etc. It always gives me cult vibes. Plus it reminds me of when I was younger and a Christian, and I rejected a lot of myself because it went against their beliefs. So I don't have any positive emotions linked to church, etc.
     
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  9. dano218

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    I remember being uncomfortable in anti gay churches but once I finally went to a lgbt friendly church I feel relaxed knowing my sexuality was not a problem with them. The church I currently a lutheran church happens to have a gay pastor so that is even better but not a must for me of course.
     
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  10. GeckoLove

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    Yeah, I find all the chanting creepy, and I usually have sports on the weekend, so I normally don't go, but my mom is trying to be more on top of it.
     
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  11. GeckoLove

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    I
    I didn't even know that there are LGBT friendly churches. Definitely none where I live, lol.
     
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  12. dano218

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    I am sure there has to some where you live around that state.They are becoming more frequent but sadly the churches filled with bigotry always seems to be the loudest and most vocal.
     
  13. GeckoLove

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    Yeah, there probably is one somewhere my stupid state, but until I get my driver's license, I'll have to stick with my current one, because asking to switch would probably give me away
     
  14. Anaduin

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    Hi,
    I would just like to say that I am a very religious person and I believe that the homophobia in the church community comes from the people in it and not from God. If you don’t believe in God, don’t let your family force you to. But if you come from a strict religious background and are nervous that God will judge you because of your sexuality, he won’t.
    Sorry about that just wanted to put that out there
     
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  15. PatrickUK

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    This is a good resource, if/when you are ready to look into the idea of attending a more welcoming church: https://www.gaychurch.org/find_a_church/
     
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  16. GeckoLove

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    Thank you for that. My friends mom is extremely religious and talks about people going to hell a lot, so that's nice to know.
     
  17. GeckoLove

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    Thank you, I will definitely look into those, because maybe in the future I will be more open to the idea of God, you never know ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


    Edit: actually I did just look, and there is one 5.5 miles away from me in the next town
     
    #17 GeckoLove, Apr 17, 2019
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2019
  18. johndeere3020

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    Another member shared this with me recently.

    For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. - John 3:16

    I even used it to boot a Baptist minister off my place last month! He didn't know what to say. :slight_smile:

    This is what I am planning on exploring for church. Notice the colors of the dove in the main webpage.


    https://www.peacechurchucc.org/
    Dean
     
  19. DecentOne

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    Hi @johndeere3020 the church you bookmarked is “ONA” which is United Church of Christ code for welcoming and affirming LGBTQ folks. ONA stands for “Open and Affirming”. That should mean the congregation did some homework to be able to live up to their advertised openness.

    @PatrickUK the resource link you gave is great! I looked in my city and found lots of Christian churches listed (I’m in a very good city to be “out”). The limitation of that website is they filter for churches that fit their criteria of Christianity. That means it leaves out some like the Unitarian Universalists and Quakers (Society of Friends) who are also very LGBTQ welcoming — and for @GeckoLove those two might be a better fit for someone who doesn’t believe in God (not that they don’t have folks who believe in some concept of God/Spirit/Love, they are just less credal and seem more flexible). And of course that site leaves out all Jewish congregations (I tried this site and found a Reformed Jewish congregation five miles from me: https://www.keshetonline.org/guide/).
     
  20. johndeere3020

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    Well, know all about Quakers, cause my grandparents were. My father was and his brother is two of the most homophobic fuckers you could image. Not sure what happened there. I just felt compelled to throw that out there.

    Dean