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Anybody else find themselves always questioning their sexuality after coming out?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Canterpiece, Jun 7, 2017.

  1. Canterpiece

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    I have a habit of doing so whenever I come out to someone, however these moments of questioning often don't last very long and I go through the realisation that I'm gay again. It's a sort of "but what if you're wrong and you have to come out again as something else?" kind of thought, but then I think about my attractions and think that currently it's silly to worry about such things because there's been no change, but regardless I always go through this whenever I come out.

    Anyone else tend to have similar thoughts/ go through this when they come out to people?

    (Sorry about the double post, my bad).
     
    #1 Canterpiece, Jun 7, 2017
    Last edited: Jun 7, 2017
  2. usagibryan

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    Every single day. In my case I have OCD and it's hard when society thinks bisexuality isn't real and I've never met an openly bisexual man.
     
  3. Assassin'sKat

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    I question myself sometimes. I spent a little time questioning it last night. But I tend to question every claim I make about myself. Such as: Is engineering really what I want to study? Is it possible that there is actually a God? What direction do Ireally want to take with my life? It's just one of those things. I just question myself to be sure I'm still sure.
     
    #3 Assassin'sKat, Jun 7, 2017
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  4. swimmingfly

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    omg same!!!
     
  5. Laughsalot

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    Definitely!
     
  6. europeanguy

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    I have the problem of never believing myself, whenever something becomes reality that is true i immediately start doubting it and feel like im lying. when its actually true, theres every evidence it is, and no evidence it isnt.
     
  7. gravechild

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    Pansexual might better describe me, but I prefer to stick with bisexual for personal reasons. I've had others suggest being somewhere on the ace spectrum, but I'm too much of a horn dog for that.
     
  8. poltergirl

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    I'm barely even OUT and I stress over what would happen if I changed sexuality later in life, I think it's normal for some people
     
  9. deepwaters7

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    Yes, I know what you mean. Happens all the time
     
    #9 deepwaters7, Jun 7, 2017
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  10. PlantSoul

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    Fuck yes. However, it always results in me having an epiphany about my identity. This has happened to me numerous times. I always end regretting coming out and debate over whether I should tell someone or not. It's really annoying. I've decided that it's for the very best if for now on, I go by vague yet versatile terms and I stop making such a big deal about telling other people. Hence, my stats: sexual and non-binary.
     
    #10 PlantSoul, Jun 7, 2017
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  11. Awesome

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    I delayed coming out for a while because I was questioning and didn't want to be wrong. Questioning my sexuality consumed too much of my thoughts in my 8th grade year. I originally came out as gay but then I re-came out as bi but then I still question every once in a while. I think it's normal. I feel that focusing on trying to find the perfect label made my sexuality unnecessarily difficult to understand. Now I think of my sexual experiences as my sexual orientation. When someone asks, sometimes say I'm pan. If I don't think they will know what that means, then I say I'm bi. If they don't ask, I let people assume that I'm gay (because I look gay), or that I'm straight if I'm with my boyfriend. The cool thing about being at a college where people aren't at all homophobic is that coming out with some specific label doesn't matter to me anymore.
     
  12. Weregild

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    I question my sexuality every day. I guess I'll never know for certain.
     
  13. Justinian20

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    I sometimes do question myself but its never what if I'm actually straight, its more what if my sexuality is super fluid, or what if I'm actually Bisexual.
     
  14. Wasg

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    My cousin came out as gay and then like 4 years later came out again as bisexual. Like 10 years later, I come out as gay and my parents keep asking me if I like girls thinking that I am going to follow in his footsteps. Personally, I am pretty sure in my sexuality, but I have started to question that due to my parents questioning me.

    I guess in the end questioning your sexuality only helps you reaffirm and strengthen what you identify as.
     
  15. Senpai25

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    I have felt that way for some time. I had passively identified as a woman to myself for a long time. It wasn't until later on that I came to realize that what was feeling equated to being transgender. Once that happened, I had a gut feeling that identifying a transwoman was the right way to go.

    It felt very strange for awhile, but I realized that having female gender pronouns being used to describe me would really fit me well. The doubt that I felt is dropping off now, but I can vividly remember it. I still identify as a trans and am quite pleased with the results.

    Personally, I feel that it all depends on individual cases and what is best for everyone. I have come to feel that self-doubt and reaffirmation of our identities is a natural process.
     
    #15 Senpai25, Jun 10, 2017
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  16. biguy8

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    Exactly right, but we do exist and are not all 50-50 bi! We don't all have orgies, and despite the steretype, we don't all have AIDS.
     
  17. Hawk

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    I'm not out, but I also find myself questioning if I'm actually gay or bi...
    The only reason why I'm not out yet regarding my orientation is, I don't feel a need to since I'm not in a relationship. Until I'm in a relationship, I'd come out since I wouldn't want to keep it a secret and I'd have "proof" that I am gay.
     
  18. Bobsleigh1

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    Yup yep yipperzz. I've only come out to one person, but, when i did come out, i immediately was like "I shouldn't have told them, what if i'm wrong about it?" and i still think that same thing whenever me and that person even mention my gender/sexuality. Heck, sometimes me doubting myself doesn't even involve another human being, i just think i'm "lying" constantly despite there being only evidence supporting my judgments. Weird shit it is, but it's just my personality i guess.
     
    #18 Bobsleigh1, Jun 13, 2017
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  19. AlexJames

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    Yes, same!! Mostly rooted in the fact that i have trouble trusting in the validity of my own opinions and experiences of, well, everything. Years of my mother doing what i only found out as an adult has a term - gaslighting. Doing something and then insisting up and down that nope that never happened you're crazy. Usually it only lasts for a short while, because usually i'm able to reaffirm to myself that yes i only like girls and that my sexual orientation is perfectly valid despite me not realizing it till like 22/23 or even coming to terms with it until this year at 25.
     
    #19 AlexJames, Jun 13, 2017
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