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anybody else feel that being in the closet is a full time job?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by needshelp, May 26, 2012.

  1. needshelp

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    for real, now thinking about it, it's pretty much something where you have to keep yourself in check at all times even when you're at home by yourself.
     
  2. RealityCheck

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    I live by myself so I can't relate. Seems like it would be a losing battle in the end though. What do you mean by keeping yourself in check when you are alone?
     
  3. taintedlove

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    I can relate though i don't get why when you're home by yourself?
     
  4. secretguyX

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    I completely get how you feel. When I was fully in the closet, I always felt the need to make sure there was no possible way no one would ever find out. That's why I'm happy I came out, even if it's just a few people. :slight_smile:
     
  5. counterspade

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    It's a very exhausting task. The majority of my family is aware of it (with the exception of distant relatives), all of my friends, and one or two of my co-workers. It's not a problem if people find out, or come to terms with knowing. I tell who I want to tell, and I don't tell who I don't want to tell.

    Some people I know are very nosy, and want to know my business to tell it to others, making it rumors in the process. So those are the people who don't know, nor ever will know of my sexuality.
     
  6. Mike92

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    I wouldn't say that it feels like a ''full-time'' job, but it can certainly be quite tough at times.
     
  7. Chip

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    Holding onto shame takes a lot of energy. And being in the closet is about being in shame; not loving ourselves and not believing that others will love us, or allow us to be part of their lives.

    So yes, it takes a lot of energy to maintain a counterfeit persona, to "fit in" when you aren't being authentic. It's a lot easier being who you really are :slight_smile:
     
  8. Vanille

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    Yeah, I feel like I am constantly watching my behavior around others. Like when I'm with friends or family in public I have to catch myself because I just can't help checking out other girls, and don't want them to notice. Even though I feel like I'm hiding it, I feel like I am still a bit obvious and that once I do come out to family and friends they're going to be like "Yeah I already knew/had a feeling" LOL. For some reason I'm not comfortable telling anyone I know just yet, in time though I will.
     
  9. julia

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    Yes, most definitely. Everyday is literally a struggle and I feel like I'm being held back by being in the closet.
     
  10. Vanc

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    It does eat away at you consistently. You don't really realize how much time and energy you spend trying to hide yourself on a daily basis until you retrospectively look at it once you've come out. Now that I'm not trying to hide it I feel a lot better :grin:
     
  11. Just Passing

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    Being in the closet definitely feels like being in a full time job. It's because we're all reflecting on something that we think might not be taken in a positive light or be mocked or even worse, yet a lot of people now will be supportive for the most part. Then there's trying to not give away any clues that may be a bit suspicious to everyone else. It's also such a major personal thing that is rather sensitive at the same time, so that doesn't help.

    As much as we can all rely on the closet right now, there's going to be a breaking point eventually. I'm slowly getting through the crowded closet for the most part, about seventy-five percent of the way there. Good luck guys. :slight_smile:
     
  12. Nemo39122

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    Do I feel like being in the closet is a full time job? YES!
    It's exhausting sometimes...I just wish I could let myself relax and let my guard down about it, but I can't. :bang:
     
  13. WALK2222

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    Yes, I totally agree. I feel that I have to watch every word I say, or where my eyes wonder to. But right now in middle school kids are jerks about that kinda stuff, so I am waiting until High School until I tell anyone outside of my family :slight_smile:
     
  14. Owen

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    It definitely is, which is why I'm glad I put in my two-weeks' notice years ago. :slight_smile:
     
  15. BajanBoy13

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    YESS,I have to watch what im saying and doing constantly its soo stressful.I get headphones and listen to music any chance I get to block out the world.
     
  16. midwestgirl89

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    Yeah, definitely. I'm ready to quit this job.
     
  17. dreamcatcher

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    Ugh yess. At home, I have to constantly be careful with my internet browser, especially since i have nosy siblings always in my space. And then when people talk about their significant others, I have to try to sidestep the question as to not bring attention to myself. Also, having to hear people's annoying gay jokes is frustrating because then I have to pretend that I don't care or I'll feel that people will get suspicious.

    And yeah, Chip nailed it with what he said about shame and being inauthentic. So truee..
     
  18. Gazza123

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    Yeah. It's bad. I mean I don't get why you would have to keep yourself in check when your alone but as a previous poster said, it is a form of shame. I'm still in the closet, I think, and well I've found myself looking at guys when I'm out and about, then remembering to look away so no one suspects anything.

    I wouldn't say its a full time job but it defiantly is tough.
     
  19. Vesper

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    No shit, though for me it would be a part-time job, as I'm not hiding on the Internet (except for Facebook). Moreover, it's not a job we get paid for...there's nothing but fleeting short-term benefits, and the long-term consequences are bad.
     
  20. Lark

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    Hells yes. The main reason I'm still in Narnia is I'm afraid of what people will say about me when I come out. I've never been very great at dealing with rumours about me (lets just say I've had a few in the past that made my life a misery) and I can't help but be scared that I'll become even less popular than I am now. :L So Chip's totally right when he says it's about shame.

    It makes it really difficult to be myself. It's very wearing putting up a front all the time, too. Even my parents have started commenting on how drained I am recently.