I’m just curious if it’s just me lol I’m in my late 20s and majority of the women I find attractive are in their 40s or early 50s. I’m not sure what draws to them, anyone else like this?
Laine.....There is absolutely nothing wrong with you! Of course the majority of people are drawn to others in their same age range, but there are many, many people who find older, more mature individuals much more to their liking. It's not unusual at all. Likewise, there are many people who feel more comfortable around those who are younger than they are. I think age has much less to do with relationships than personality does. Plus you can often find people who are say, 50 but act and have a lifestyle of someone in their 20's. So as far as I can tell age, while it is a factor in a relationship, is by far not the most important element in the relationship. .....David
I’m attracted to older women. I used to be more attracted to them when I was younger. I’m 30 and I find women in their early 40s attractive. I also find women in their early 20s attractive but really immature. There is something attractive about maturity.
I understand what you mean. I think it’s a maturity thing as others have said, but more specifically about self-confidence, being comfortable in their own skin and sometimes the appearance of having everything together. It’s not universal, but younger women can tend to be less self-confident about their appearance and how they approach life in general, which is probably partly down to messages about gender stereotypes, the focus on how women look in the media, etc.
GUILTY!! I'm right there with you... Women in the age range you mentioned are Wouldn't say I'm "younger" lol but this has always been a thing for me!
Haha, now where are you young women in real life!? I'm 49 and just realising my sexuality and coming out, but am finding very few women my age who are actually attractive! They all seem so OLD and boring. I think what scares me though is that I may look mature and sensible and like I have all my life together, but I have zero clue about relationships with women so I look 49 but feel about 13 inside, which is probably not what people are looking for...
Hey kate, yea my only crush on a woman was with one 10 years older. So I can relate to the other's comments about maturity the allure that goes with that. Lol here! Same, have never had any intimate experiences with a woman so also feel 13 in that regard. I feel the unjustified assumption there is to think inexperience is not what people are looking for. That said, I definitely feel similarly self-conscious about that maybe being the case. Perhaps your next post should be titled 'do any experienced women find inexperienced women attractive?'. I have a feeling it will stir a good amount of support! Even if maybe both of us will only believe it when we see it.
Hi I am attracted to older women too. It has been happening for many years even before that I find out I am bi.
In lesbian relationships, it seems like this is a pretty common thing. My standard caveat on age-gap relationships applies; if you are ~27-30 or older, then dating someone older at that point, for most people, is not a big issue. Hopefully, both people are at similar places in life. Where it is almost never emotionally healthy is if the younger person is under 26-27 or so, and there's an age gap of 7+ years. Almost always in those cases, and especially in lesbian relationships, it is rarely emotionally healthy. There tend to be a lot of control and caretaking/codependency issues that may work for a while in a dysfunctional way, but if/when the younger person starts getting more emotionally healthy and functional, usually the relationship stops working, because the older person wants someone they can take care of and/or control. This doesn't magically go away when someone turns 27, but it is somewhat less likely to occur, as the older person looking for the younger person to take care of is less likely to be interested in someone who is already showing signs of independence and self-sufficiency.
Haha, well I'll live in hope then! I did have an age gap relationship previously actually, before I realised I was gay. I was 37 and he was 21 when we met and we were together for a year. It was really nice, and age was never a thing when we were together, and wasn't the reason we broke up. So maybe there is still hope for me.
not a woman but afab and a youngster. Women 40+ have a different level of grace that I absolutely adore <3 I usually have much more genuine connections with with folks who've got a lot of life experience. People always say I have a very old soul. I think the appropriateness (as if its my place to judge this lol) of age gap relationships does depend a lot on the stage of life you are in comparesd to your partner, but ones age does not dictate the stage you are in. I think also having a lot of self-awareness is key to not being taken advantage of -- but tbh I have had way more terrible experiences with people in my own age bracket than with mature folks. Emotional maturity is so hot
Agreed the numerical age doesn't represent the inner age. People of all ages are at different stages be it maturity or emotional awareness or vulnerability etc.
Ah, the old "age is just a number" trope. While there are rare exceptions. the caveat above does generally apply. The incidence of dysfunction in large age gap relationships is enormously high, so much so that one study was unable to even find a large enough cohort of large-age-gap relationships with 5+ years longevity to do a meaningful analysis on.
Haha - that's a bit of a strawman of the idea that age is not the sole determinant of compatibility or attraction, which is more what I was saying. It sounded like you agreed with that in your previous comment below Overall I think it's a variable like any other. One needs to consider the particular details case by case. But I think I know where you're coming from if saying huge age gaps could lead to other issues down the road.
