Any tips on how to tell when a "straight" woman likes you?

I'm sure that scenario happens. I don't know if I have any tips to offer. I'm not very good at telling if a woman is flirting with me. I have been groped by a few "straight" girls before, a little to much to be normal (imo) but I never pressed it so not sure.

There was also this one friend I knew...she never said word for word that she was straight but implied it. The way she acted towards me seemed opposite though. It's kind of a long story, I was thinking of posting it as a separate topic, to gather opinions.

 

I know what it feels like to be close to someone, seeing them often, not knowing whether or not they want you or not.

I know there are stories with happy endings. Mine wasn't one of them. My friend flirted with me and led me on until I thought something was finally going to happen between us. Then, just as things were looking golden, she'd run off with a guy. She did that twice, so I'm not looking back.

We crashed and burned. It might have been a good friendship had she not fucked with my feelings so badly, but when someone hurts you like that and uses you to make themselves feel good without thinking of how it affects you, you can't trust them.

So I say: The fact that you need to ask whether or not she's interested in you is itself a sign that she's not worth your heart—at least not at the moment. If she's interested in you and she's not showing it, she's not ready and probably can't give you the security you will need for a proper relationship to blossom.

Later, I hooked up with a woman I knew was gay and whom I was interested in long before I met the "straight" girl. She was finally single and ready for someone who was into her, so we had a good night together. Let's just say I didn't have to ask for any "signs" or analyze her at all. It was easy, it was good, and it was so damn enjoyable.

 

Thanks! I guess my point was rather that if someone's truly into you, you'll be able to tell. You won't have all this insecurity nagging at your brain saying: "Aaaah but you don't know for sure, do you!"

If you're generally attracted to straight women, it might be worth for you to consider if it's got something to do with something else than them being "straight".

Is it the physical type? I mean, are you into women who express themselves according to what is conventionally thought of as femininity rather than those who express more along masculine lines? If so, OK, that's that.

But I also think that for a lot of women who like other women, it could be pointing to something a little more serious that might need some working through, perhaps with a therapist. Of course, I'm just saying this because that's what I figure I have to work through. I've realized that throughout my life I've only ever really wanted people who didn't want me back.

I realize now that I never truly believed I was worthy of love. That was not really the fault of my parents as it was the fault of an older sibling who never really forgave me for being born and, in hindsight, seems to have been jealous of me my entire life. I loved him and wanted his love, but I never had it. Whatever I did or tried to do, however I tried to change myself in my relationship with him, it was never enough. So I guess I started looking to fix that relationship through a psychological "surrogate". According to some psychological theory whose name I can't remember, it goes something like this: Find another emotionally unavailable person, try to make them available and love you by pouring all your love on them.

The result was always the same because the fundamental mistake was the same: I wanted someone else to change the pattern for me. I wanted someone else to tell me and show me and convince me that I was worthy of the love that my elder sibling denied me out of jealousy. They wanted me to hurt because of the pain in their own life that they irrationally and probably subconsciously blamed me for.

Grow up like that and you're silently taught that you're not worthy of someone who truly loves you. The truth is, IF you're in such a situation, then only you can fix that. Only you can teach yourself that you are worthy of love from a secure and stable person who doesn't change their mind every minute, who doesn't give you conflicting signals, who doesn't leave you feeling confused, who takes your sexuality, your feelings, and your needs seriously—someone who sees you and values you for who you are simply because they can't help it. You're that wonderful in their eyes.

That's what you deserve as a human being looking for love. Love yourself first, cultivate self-respect, keep it up, and never let yourself be treated cruelly, indifferently, as second best, or as something someone else may or may not decide that they want.

So here's my advice to you: Anyone who makes you bewildered or confuses you, anyone who makes you ask for "signs" on a public forum, or on Google or whatever (I've done this so many times myself…) is not worth your time.

 

That does remind me of an old coworker. She was engaged to a guy and referred to herself as straight. She'd always talk about how she wanted to be pleasured by another girl "because they know how to do it best". She actually 'subtlety' invited me to have a threesome with her and her fiance.

I think Plaid offered some great advice and I agree. If someone states they're straight and or gives an impression of not reciprocating your feelings, don't waste your time. It seems like a stressful and painful situation.

What about if the person 'A' is into the same sex but doesn't know that person 'B' is too, and person 'B' is just super dense? This I feel will be my forever fate :eusa_doh:

 

Then person B needs to let person A know, right? "Person B" (you?) obviously knows that person A is into the same sex, so what's stopping you?

Bite the bullet, ask her out. Especially if you realize that she's been trying to show you that she likes you.

If she's stopped showing you, she could feel rejected and have given up. Doesn't mean she's not interested in you anymore, but maybe she's decided she's spent enough time and energy being confused and doesn't want to lose her self-respect crawling on her knees for someone.

 

Yea I would be person 'B'. Now this is a mostly hypothetical scenario. I mean this might of been an actual scenario but I never figured out the other person's feelings. Also while I liked this person as a friend I wasn't attracted to her. The thing is, just because someones into women doesn't mean I'd think she would be into me.

If I find a girl I'm completely attracted to, unless she's aggressive I feel I won't pick up on her flirtation. Especially if we started off as friends first, which would be most likely.

I guess I could say "hey do you like my face? Cause I like yours!":lol:
Eh I'll figure it out when it happens (I hope)
Thanks for the advice!

Yea even if it's someone you can't actually be with, admitting feelings can be better than bottling them up. Good luck on that in the future btw!