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Any thoughts on my next step?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Engdood1, Aug 3, 2021.

  1. Contented

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    Not really looks like a pretty good indication you are really into men and not women. I know that great feeling when you first have that aha sexual awakening and realize what you had been missing.
     
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  2. out2019

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    I agree with @Contented here, often our bodies know before our minds accept it!
     
    #22 out2019, Aug 17, 2021
    Last edited: Aug 17, 2021
  3. Joolz66

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    @Engdood1 my first time was the same. I wasn’t interested in apps but I had all the gay desires that needed release. So I reasoned that a gay masseuse would be easier, safer, skilled and would have seen it all. I was right. He made me incredibly comfortable and guided me through my first time. I had absolutely zero doubt afterwards that I was gay, it all fell into place, no guilt just acceptance. I went back 3 more times. I think it’s an option for other guys like us who wake up to our gayness later in life, the experience in real life, of what we have always fantasised about in our younger years, seals the deal so to speak, not for everyone but for me, and obviously you too, it was helpful in moving us along. Good on you for your courage, it’s a big step.
     
    #23 Joolz66, Aug 18, 2021
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2021
  4. 41confused

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    I identify with this completely. Gay sexual fantasies appeared ahead of real life attraction, but as I become more comfortable with the idea of my same sex attraction I am noticing more men I am attracted to. A strange and wonderful experience.
     
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  5. Engdood1

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    Chip had recommended that I walk around one day imagining that I am gay and have already come out etc and see what it does. I hadn’t got around to it until yesterday and I went to the supermarket. I was checking out lots of guys and found it to be very different. I had a definite attraction to guys in there and it was quite a thrill.
     
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  6. out2019

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    When I was in denial this sounded ridiculous but now I realize how true it was. When you're in denial there is so much anxiety and repression around 'noticing'.

    I realized before accepting myself that I was looking for validation I was straight so would quickly look away if I started noticing a guy, intentionally noticed men I found unattractive to confirm I wasn't gay.

    Sometimes little things slipped through the cracks. Once I was at a dance performance and the men and women were identically dressed in in tight tops and tights which revealed everything... I was still subconsciously repressed and often looking for straight validation - so I was scanning the female dancers and saying to myself "Oh she's hot, see I am straight" don't know if it was being in the dark and relaxed but I noticed the rear of one dancer who i at first thought was female but was male and started to get aroused, he turned around and for some reason I immediate 'allowed' myself to look at his bulge and my mouth went dry and I was shaking with desire. I knew I was gay then but still fought it for a couple of years.

    That can be a very freeing experience because it allows you to go back to your straight persona if you want -but you start to realize how natural it feels and how most of the anxiety around it is about what others might think...
     
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  7. eron

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    Like some of you here described, my first experience, although a bit awkward before and after. erotic and sexually intense. Definitely knew I wanted more and confirmed my sexual attraction to men. Like the dam bursting, after being with a guy, I found sex with women uninteresting to the point that I no longer could orgasm. But, with a guy, I have to do everything to keep from it happening too quickly.
     
  8. out2019

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    that's probably residual guilt/shame

    This was the case even with fantasizing for me - I got more aroused fantasizing about pleasing a guy then a woman trying to please me and eventually even in real life, I lost all ability to be aroused around women.
     
  9. old tacoma

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    Every single time reinforces my compass needle true north ! (Allegorically speaking)