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Any suggestions?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Javy, May 14, 2020.

  1. Javy

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    Hello all,

    I've been on a path of discovery and exploration for about two years now. I've had experiences with guys during this time. It's all have been pretty much hidden and I've enjoyed myself. However, i feel guilt afterwards. Also, i keep on questioning is this really me? Do i really like this?

    Thinking back I do enjoy it.

    But I've decided to repress this feelings and urges that i get from time to time. Not only that but i find myself missing those moments.

    Also, I'm in a committed relationship with a girl and its been awesome. However, this keeps haunting me.

    I'ts been almost a year of trying to forget and repress all of this.

    Has anyone gone thru something similar. Any advice?
     
  2. Lgbtqpride

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    Why are you repressing your feelings?
     
  3. Javy

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    To be completely honest I feel fear. I have kids and I worry about how that may effect them.
     
  4. SevnButton

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    Yes, I understand. This life I'm in is mostly what I want. I love my wife and kids, and this thing I feel is threatening. Still, I feel it.
     
  5. LostInDaydreams

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    It’s not clear from what you’ve written...did your experiences with men overlap with your relationship with your girlfriend? If so, is she aware?
     
  6. Lgbtqpride

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    You can come out to your kids.
     
  7. Ram90

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    @Javy How old are your kids, If I may ask, that might help us understand better the situation you're in and what might be going through your mind.
     
    #7 Ram90, May 15, 2020
    Last edited: May 15, 2020
  8. Javy

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    I know. However, it's not that easy. My youngest is five so i feel i should wait. I don't live with them so it's already a difficult situation as it is.
     
  9. Javy

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    My kids are 13 and 5.
     
  10. Javy

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    I enjoy being with my g/f and having our little family as well. However, i feel that this situation is constantly there.
     
  11. Javy

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    No i was single when i decided to test the waters over a year ago.
     
  12. Lgbtqpride

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    Does your kids support lgbt?
     
  13. silverhalo

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    Hey these things are never easy and of course its your decision what you do but kids are way more relisiant that you would think and truely the best thing for kids is a happy, honest parent. I know repressing the feelings may seem like the easiest and best thing to do now but you only have to read some posts from the later in life section to see that these things over time eat away at you from the inside.
    Sometimes it is not the weight of the glass you are holding but the length of time you are trying to hold it for which is the issue.
     
    Really and am724 like this.
  14. Javy

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    They aren't a stranger to it. They've grown up around it. I personally have never had a conversation about it with them. I'm sure their mother has had talks with my daughter.
     
  15. Javy

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    First and foremost, thank you for your words. Also, I agree with you. The right thing to do is to talk about my sexuality and just come out and say it. I dislike living the way I do. I want to be free and live my life the best I can. My battle is overcoming that hurdle. I know if i let more time pass by its just going to become worse for me. So that's why I'm hearing opening up to people like you that are supportive and understanding.
     
  16. silverhalo

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    Yeah it definitely isn't easy. We are certainly here to help. If you look at some threads in the later than life section you will see you are definitely not alone. You will get there one step at a time.
     
  17. Jon Sol

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    I came out to my wife and son at the young age of 47. My son was 21 at the time and my wife and I were separated. (our separation wasn't because of my orientation, but probably was, at least some.) At any rate, it took a lot of self reflection and a few months of therapy before I was able to come out to them and, more important, myself. Still working on it. I'll admit, there are days I'm not sure it was for the best. These days are getting less frequent and further apart, but you spend so much of you life denying something.......Well, you get it. The only advise i can give is do what you feel you should when you feel you should. Be it coming out or staying in. It's up to you. The peeps on this site are a good source of information and support. They've definitely helped me out and still do. You're not alone and you're not the bad guy.
    Hugs man. Hope everything works out for you.
     
    am724 and maybgayguy like this.
  18. Javy

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    Thank you for sharing. I'm actually considering just ending my relationship. I think i need to be single until i just come out and live my live the best i can. Its going to suck bc my girl is special but i feel she deserves more and i can't be that for her.