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Any non-traditional trans stories/feelings?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Turkey50, Jan 7, 2018.

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  1. Cailan

    Cailan
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2017
    Messages:
    292
    Likes Received:
    31
    Location:
    Pacific Northwest
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I'm non-binary/bi-gender, and while I only learned the name for what I am a year ago (I always assumed I was just a weird masculine woman), I've always *known* I'm part guy, subconsciously. When I "came out" to family and close friends abut 8 months ago no one was surprised. However, while I accepted the name and reality of what I am, I feel no need to live outwardly as anything but cis female. I'm out on Facebook, but in everyday life no one would thing of me as anything but cis, though I do come off as a rather masculine-leaning woman. I love all things femme, sparkly and colorful, even when I'm in "guy mode" I still squeal over pretty things.

    I'm also mixed physically (wide, muscular back, no hips, muscular thighs, strong "handsome" rather than pretty face - but long sexy legs, big boobs) so my hormones were as mixed in putting together my body as they were my brain. I tend to overcompensate a bit toward the feminine in appearance, mostly because that subconscious, unacknowledged guy side gave me dysphoria for so long. Now the dysphoria's gone, but I still like the femme appearance better. It doesn't help that I'm not very attractive in full masculine mode.

    I see absolutely no reason to change my outward lifestyle/appearance. I like who I am socially and I really see no reason to upend it. I've worked hard to get where I am socially and professionally, and it feels good. I don't get dysphoria from appearing to be fully cis female, and I get kind of a kick when people treat me as such. Kinda like "I have a secret and you can't guess it." Except for the people who know.
     
    #21 Cailan, Jan 18, 2018
    Last edited: Jan 18, 2018
  2. Turkey50

    Turkey50
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 26, 2017
    Messages:
    19
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Louisianna
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I like your viewpoint on your identity. As I have said from my past posts on this thread, I have also felt different from other guys (male at birth) and always kind of hesitated to do things normally expected of men. Never much of a sports guy, never felt comfortable when people said "you should do this because you will be a man one day" and such and such. I always felt I got a long with like the more nerdy/docile guys or girls. But sometimes I would do things femininely or talk in a high femme voice. I would have these feelings like I was super paranoid about looking/sounding feminine/gay and being hyper vigilant. At the same time though, I was proud of my masculine body after working out and I also enjoyed being viewed as like a "bro" and such. I am not a natural leader or decision maker, but I kind of like that part of the masculine role. It's just a lot of masculine personality traits do not come naturally to me. I also was always slightly agender in the way I thought. Like I didn't mind my gender identity until recently, but I never really wanted to capitalize on my masculinity. Maybe I am a non-binary who leans more towards masculine and has a feminine side?

     
    #22 Turkey50, Jan 18, 2018
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